Do your very best to keep this condition in perspective.

Hi all, my name is Tom and I have been blessed with this condition for about 15 years now. I have never asked for nor accepted any sympathy due to my condition. I have always tried to always keep my many, many good fortunes squarely in mind. I am now 57 wonderful years old. My condition began much as all of yours did, bo:y aches that never went away, steadily increasing tremors, migraine headaches. For the first 15-20 years of our married life, my sweet wife simply nor could I understand why I was so ve4y sensitive to bright lights and loud noises. The symptoms progressed st easily as they usually do and eventually i needed and was granted a medical retirement from the civilian side of the U. S. Air Force. I had steadily worked my way up from a snow plow driver to an Engineering supervisor. In civil service you must first be hired permanently and then progress towards what you are most suited to do. I had been a supervisor for about 2 years when I had to retire. I have always chosen to try to keep everything in perspective by reminding myself of what I had accomplished and enjoyed in life before becoming disabled. I have always been an avid hunter, enjoying all of the most wild and beautiful country that most need to experience by pictures alone. I have been face to face with a 6x6 elk, a mountain lion and appreciated the beautiful sounds of wind in the high country pines. I have loved many incredible bird dogs and was able to coach 2 strong sons through baseball. My plate has always been full. I have been truly blessed. I met an incredible girl 35 years ago and somehow convinced her that regardless of the rough country boy edges that I was marriage material. We have now been newlyweds for 35 years now. We have truly put Romeo and Juliet to shame. My plate is full. Recently I was doing more research about this condition and read that many of those unfortunate people that have become victims of this condition find that their Dr.s have in their head a certain figure regarding how much pain relief that they feel comfortable with prescribing. They choose not to go beyond that figure. I am now using Fentanyl pain patches for day to day pain, I am up to150 mcg. Every 3 days now. I used to receive one every 2 days and that worked pretty well but my insurance company decided that they weren't bound to supply beyond the required minimum. I use 30 mg. of Oxycodone every 6 hours for breakthrough pain as well. My problem is that I have been on these medications for long enough that they have lost much of their effectiveness for me and that is where I now find myself. I regularly spend 2-3 day stretches in bed when I can, on the floor when I can't. (I find that when the pain is very bad that I hurt too much to lay in bed as I find that any part of my body making contact with the bed hurts more). I still remind myself of the full life that I have lived, that does help. I look at so many children who suffer through so much more than any child should, and young people that will never have the chance to grow old. My plate is full. I have recently began the conversation with my sweet Lady of what I will do when my pain can no longer be managed. It isn't a choice that I have lightly made but after careful consideration and she said that she does understand as no one but a spouse with a front row seat can. I will soon need to begin looking for a pain clinic to see if they can help me. It is my thought that if a person must see all of the many bountiful gifts that the lord has given them. To learn that they have had some very wonderful experiences that they should keep in mind and be thankful for e arch of them.