Old 08-20-2014, 04:10 PM #1 (permalink)
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Default Feeling hopeless

Hi I'm a newbie (to this forum not fibromyalgia) I'm a 34yr old mother of 3 and for 7yrs I've complained of fatigue and all over body pain. I was diagnosed about 8 months ago and have had every test done to finally get a answer to why at 34 I feel like a 90yr old woman. I was first prescribed Gabapentin (spellcheck) at 300mg a day after 45days with no improvement my neurologist increased it to 900mg a day and within a week I was up and running (seriously running) on the treadmill, swimming and going to the gym atleast 5 days a week. I felt wonderful until one day I'm driving home from work and get this excruciating pain in my stomach so serious that I drove straight to the hospital. After 3 days of only IV fluids I'm told I have Acute Pancreatitis caused by the Gabapentin I'm immediately taken off of it and within days I'm back to a 90yr old woman since then I've been on Cymbalta which my Dr chose because it doesn't cause weight gain (since diagnosed I've lost 23lbs, changed my diet and exercise habits) I started at 30mg daily and increased to 60mg. I've been on Cymbalta now for 3 months and I still feel like a 90yr old woman. I spend 90% Of my time in bed the pain is so severe I've begun doubling my Vicodin every 4hrs. I noticed the past 2 weeks I've started having suicidal thoughts mainly just to get relief from this pain and fatigue. I'm at a loss I'm in pain, exhausted and hopeless...
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Old 08-20-2014, 09:24 PM #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Feeling hopeless

So sorry the med that helped was toxic to your system. You should call your doc tomorrow. Sometimes suicidal ideations are a side effect of antidepressants. In any event, please reach out to someone for care. Dealing with fibro can really drag you down, but don't give up. You might need to try another med and weigh the potential for weight gain to the potential for relief and the ability to exercise. I gained weight when I started Cymbalta, so you never know. I'm glad you're here at the forum. We understand fibro frustration. Take care and hugs.
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Old 08-21-2014, 10:27 AM #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Feeling hopeless

I had the same issue with my stomach.im on Lyrica and it seems to work for muscle pain and fatigue. Im also on a anti depresent which has pain helping properties in it as well. Cyclobenzaprine ive found really helps as well. I suggest getting on a anti depresent because it helped for me!
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Old 08-21-2014, 03:55 PM #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Feeling hopeless

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. You definitely need to talk to your doctor about the suicidal thoughts. That is not good. I wish neurontin helped me like it helped you (minus the pancreatitis). I'm at 600mg three times daily and it does help a little but not much. Not much does help. I'm feeling a little hopeless as well.. I feel like I'm going to have to deal with this pain for the rest of my life. I feel like life is so much work sometimes (I'm not suicidal). I just wanted to let you know that there are people out there that are going through what you are going through. I've had symptoms of fibromyalgia since I was 19 years old. I'm 26 now. I was diagnosed 2 years ago. It is truly an awful feeling to have dreams and not be able to fulfill them because you hurt so badly and have no energy. Like you said, 90 year old woman. I hope that they find a drug that helps you. You're too young to be going through this..
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Old 08-21-2014, 04:01 PM #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Feeling hopeless

Suicide is not the way, but I know how you feel. I went from a 35 year old (extremely active) to a 90 year old in just a few years. its horrible and i too thought about suicide. but one thing that got me through it is that I still have too much to live for. You have 2 children. And what happens if they find a cure next year. That one of the things that keeps me going. You do need to reach out and talk to someone. And thats perfectly ok. Gabapentin is not a very good drug. It helps for awhile but u build up resistance to it and it does have a lot of side effects. I am in the process now of trying to find a doctor and its very frustrating to find someone who understands. Its a rough road and its places like this that helps us understand we r not alone in our pain. Try different things like going to the pool or yoga or accupucture. Good luck.
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Old 08-21-2014, 04:05 PM #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Feeling hopeless

Suicide. Noooo. Get psychiatric help immediately and tell a family member. Life is too precious and you need to be strong. There are so many medications out there that can help you through your difficulties. Never lose hope.
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Old 08-21-2014, 10:57 PM #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Feeling hopeless

Woah, so sorry to hear about your pancreatitis, this is the problem with this kind of meds, but I understand some people truly need to take them to work. I truly hope you find something that works for you. I know isn't easy, but have faith! I know isn't easy, but think about how beautiful life can be, you have 3 kids who need you... so just focus on doing whatever it takes to stay around for them. Have always in mind, I know it helps me to think the same about my family.
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Old 09-01-2014, 05:44 PM #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Feeling hopeless

Would like to hear an update from the OP. Make sure she is okay.
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Old 09-03-2014, 09:32 AM #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Feeling hopeless

so sorry to hear what you are going through . I am bi-polar with anxiety disorder and ocd. AND have fibro. I take Prozac 60mg. and it really works well for me. I did put on weight but I am used to my new body now. Have been on it for 23 years. I also take clonazepam for my anxiety and topomax for mood disorder which help me to lose weight so it evens out. I exercise and eat well. I am not overly big. Anyway. GET HELP! See someone, a professional for those bad thought ASAP! Change your medication. That I know for a fact that you have to get the right medication that works for YOU! And you need some sleep! Maybe a sleep aid for just a couple of weeks would be a way to go. Just trying to help out... We are here for you. Good luck sweetie
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Old 09-04-2014, 01:05 PM #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Feeling hopeless

Well i'll add my voice and say that I hope you are doing better from your OP please let us know how you are because we are concerned for you. Don't let the demon win. Lots of us have been rieght where your at and you can get through this with the right help. GOODLUCK.
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Old 09-07-2014, 09:37 PM #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Feeling hopeless no more 😁

Hi everyone thanks for the concern. I went to my Dr who suggested I have a pych evaluation after waiting hrs in the hospital and not seeing anyone I went home weened myself off the Cymbalta and (shhh) although still illegal in my state I started smoking marijuana. I don't know if it's really helping with the pain but I do have more energy and am in a better head space. I have an appt lined up for a orthopedic Dr that has experience with all this and I'm just praying every day and continuing to PUSH (PrayUntilSomethingHappens)...
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Old 09-14-2014, 07:28 AM #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Feeling hopeless

I started getting suicidal feelings on Cymbalta. It took over a week after I stopped for the feelings to subside. I am unable to take any mood altering medications, even in very low doses for the same reason. Gabapentin was the only medication I could take. Sorry to hear that you are unable to take it anymore.
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Old 10-12-2014, 02:46 PM #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Feeling hopeless

Smoking weed can make you confused over time , I'm not going to bang on about rights and wrongs .i think because u felt so good on the gab it hit u very hard to come down with such a bump.i no when I hurt like a Bxxxx a good walk helps a lot , and yes I no how hard it is to move yourself. I have a two year old I can't go to bed. And I think if I did I'd be worse .try to keep moving in the day time.
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Old 10-12-2014, 08:51 PM #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Feeling hopeless

I just wanted to mention that the jump from 300mg a day, to 900mg a day, makes me wonder about your doctor. Most medications are given in a gradual increase and though I take Gabapentin 300mg, at a rate of five a day, and this is a reduction from at one time taking seven a day, it was all done slowly and not suddenly. Also you mentioned your use of Vicodin, and that you were doubling your doses. Please be very careful with this drug as it can have very bad side effects and become addictive. I hope you continue to improve, both physically and mentally. If your short on cash you can always talk with someone at your local mental health clinic until your mood improves. I wish you all the best in this matter.

As for learning new coping skills, please read through all the old and new posts in the areas of chronic pain and alternatives, to get some coping skills that are useful and drug free.
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Old 10-12-2014, 09:10 PM #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Feeling hopeless

I completely understand. After 4 years of a diagnosis and countless medication I too feel hopeless. Seriously.... I have 3 kids also. I want answers and I dont feel like I dont have fibro. I get fevers, joint pain, I have recurrent uveitis which in its self is very painful. I am also so tired with out the use of vicodin (some days are better and I dont need the vicodin) I feel like I cant accomplish anything! Im beyond discouraged. My blood tests are normal but my symptoms are not. no medications are working other than the vicodin. Im okay with taking one 10 mg a day. That gives me a boost and takes the pain away for a while. Then im able to clean the house, exercise a little and such...then the pains back but i feel a little accomplished so thats good. Im going to johns hopkins rheumatology for a umpteenth opinion.
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