Old 03-22-2015, 10:55 PM #1 (permalink)
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Default Girlfriend Has Fibromyalgia. Looking for ways to help.

Hello!

So I'm new to this forum, and new to the concept of Fibromyalgia. I am not diagnosed with the condition myself, but my girlfriend is and I'm looking for some information and advice.

For some background, she is 19 and has been diagnosed with Systemic Exertion Intolerance Disease (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) and Fibromyalgia. She also has begun experiencing panic attacks brought on by anxiety recently. Last night she experienced her third in the course of a few days after not having an episode for over a year, which frightened me somewhat and left her feeling down on herself.

She is extremely diligent towards her school work and career goals, and this often means putting herself through situations that may increase her propensity for pain and stress. She does not like to be defined by her conditions, so when they create limitations it can upset her.

So for starters, are there any resources you guys might recommend to better understand her conditions better? Secondly, what are some ways that I can try to comfort her on a rough day?
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Old 03-23-2015, 06:11 AM #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Girlfriend Has Fibromyalgia. Looking for ways to help.

Welcome ,I'm afraid it's a war between her and her body.what it can take and what it can't.She will have to learn when she needs to rest weather she likes it or not.you push yourself at your own peril . Ask her to join the site , we have a few young ppl with this illness. And it really helps to vent and learn from others. This will be the same for you to .x
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Old 03-23-2015, 09:35 AM #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Girlfriend Has Fibromyalgia. Looking for ways to help.

brownfrito, welcome to the site, we are all here helping each other get through each day. have her join too.

you asked:So for starters, are there any resources you guys might recommend to better understand her conditions better? Secondly, what are some ways that I can try to comfort her on a rough day?

Please see my two of my post called what is fibromyalgia and starting a daily log book. good starter info on fibro and doctors.

The National Institute of Arthritis and Musculoskeletal and Skin Diseases (NIAMS) a gov website teams with Advocates for Fibromyalgia Funding, Treatment, Education & Research. They have done many studies on fibromyalgia ,surveys, and support Fribro awareness.
i learned a few things on there website.

Helping her means supporting her,loving her, and you need to understand what she is going through. help her find her trigger points.
fill out the log book, take her to the doctors. thanks for being there for her. if you or her want to chat just friend me and msg me.

good luck
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Old 03-23-2015, 10:55 AM #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Girlfriend Has Fibromyalgia. Looking for ways to help.

Hi brownfrito, I came to this group for much of the same reasons as you. My husband has fibo and I have been looking for more ways to support him. It's not an easy situation to be in, you want to help them but there isn't much you can do. This unfortunately his their fight and all we can do is cheer from the side lines. I did a lot of research online to try to understand the condition, all you have to do is google fibromyalgia. I also try to support my husband by letting him just vent about his pain and what he is feeling. When he feels up to doing something physical I do it with him on his level instead of on my own level so isn't reminded how much less he can do then me. I also try to keep him from overdoing on good days, when he dose the next few days are always bad. I don't do anything real noticeable, but I'll help with dinner when he wants to make it himself, or tell him I'm tired and want to go home when we are out and I can tell he is starting to over due it. I think when I do this he doesn't feels like he is giving up or not helping, because that bothers him and I think makes him feel worse. Massages help sometimes, and sometimes just sitting quietly and watching TV or something else they like to do helps. Anything you can do where she knows you are supporting her but also not pushing her should help. And I commend you for being her and wanting to help her. Too many people wouldn't do that.
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Old 03-23-2015, 11:20 AM #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Girlfriend Has Fibromyalgia. Looking for ways to help.

Oh you are such a sweet heart asking what you can do!

as a GF with Fibro......I must echo what cmetryme says above, love and understand. My boyfriend has early MS... no progressing right now, but he TOO has random pain attacks... we are both hard and proud workers in the pinnicle of our career.

i'm always looking for what I can do for him, and he for me. Here's why he is my king:

Makes my coffee every night before bed (programs it). Making coffee, even opening sugar packets, hurt. all i have to do when i wake up is drink.
this is such a HUGE RELIEF. ahh

Encourages me and supports me when I am down or having a flair to take it easy, write my boss & assistant that I am staying home. I like to push myself, but we need rest. He reassures me it is ok. I have to take care of myself first, not my work. It's hard when ya love your job.

Draws bubble/epson salt baths for me and hangs out with me in the bathroom to chat and relax, sometimes he reads to me. I can't hold a book it hurts so bad. His company is better than any book, tv show or song

Preps my heated blanket for when I get home. Ex: in the winter, pain is the worst. I would come home from Physical Therapy to a couch with my heated blankets spread over it....sometimes dinner was made. He is so proud of this. Just knocks me off my feet. He knows how much i love it. I can't believe he does all this LOL.

He will go with me to appointments if / when he can... he makes everything more fun. I do this with him as well!

Warms up my car... can ya tell, cold hurts BIG TIME!

Opens everything for me, my hands and fingers and wrists always hurt. It's the little things that blow my mind. no one has ever been this caring. I just see the love in his eyes - its genuine care and its so healing....



We just have a cozy lifestyle and live in our little bubble. If I don't want to 'go out' we don't, same with him.

He bought me a book to journal about my pain, but of course, i get distracted and forget to write in it. bah!

All the best to you both!
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Old 03-23-2015, 01:03 PM #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Girlfriend Has Fibromyalgia. Looking for ways to help.

lisamm, way to learn grow and spread your knowledge. thanks for posting in this one.
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