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kerikay

Active member
Joined
Mar 9, 2016
Messages
33
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
3/2016
Country
US
State
Connecticut
Hi There Fibro Friends,
thought maybe i can get some suggestions. So i been contemplating a lot lately on moving out of my moms house like any normal 21 year old would, also in some of my prior post i shared that at times we butt heads and she is sometimes not the best support system because she is so consumed with her chronic illness and the only reason why i stayed with her was because i didn't want anything to happen to her, but she is married and i do have a sister who is married as well and lives here with her husband so i have been craving a bit of independence, however i dont think that i will ever be making enough to move out of her house. my rhemy says i can only work part time and i noticed thats all my body will allow me to work as well so i am between a rock and a hard place because i would loveeeeeeeee to move out but i dont know if i will ever have the funds because of the fibro. i will be graduating school in 10 weeks and even then part time wont be enough to pay rent and my other bills and believe me nothing is handed to me i pay for my car, my insurance, my credit card(s), and i try to contribute to a bills here as well and a heap of other bills, i pay them all with my tiny pay check. i was trying to see if there was any rental assistance here in the U.S or even if there were any options at all for me because it is getting quite difficult to live here. I would love to hear any suggestions. Thanks and gentle hugs
 
Hallo Kerikay. It seems that you are between a rock and a hard place since you want to move out but haven't figured out how you will support yourself. I have also faced similar predicaments in the past. The good thing is that as long as you keep your cool, things have a way of sorting themselves out. You can use the time you have to do research and look for passive income opportunities like paid membership in sites like Neobux since I see you are online and you can figure how to make money online. Many hugs and good luck.
 
Yes there is rental assistance in the US, in some cities it's called the projects! Don't go there. Try and get a housing voucher you probably qualify for food stamps (DO NOT. Be ashamed to use a system that was intended to help those in need but abused by loosers) there are many reasorses available barring by city. Check with you local centers first. Moving out might be good for all of you, you need to de-stress and perhaps your family needs to quit taking you for granted. You could also look into just renting a room in a nice quit private home, but do be careful and check them out as much as they would check you out.
Let me know if any of this helps. Maybe more readers have some ideas
 
Thanks friends,
I think it would be whats best at least i would be able to have a piece of mind and it would definitely help to de-stress i been searching for some options but the instructions on how to apply leave room for alot of question. i really dont want to move into the project homes. definitely something cozy. i hope to figure something out very soon
 
Hi There Fibro Friends,
thought maybe i can get some suggestions. So i been contemplating a lot lately on moving out of my moms house like any normal 21 year old would, also in some of my prior post i shared that at times we butt heads and she is sometimes not the best support system because she is so consumed with her chronic illness and the only reason why i stayed with her was because i didn't want anything to happen to her, but she is married and i do have a sister who is married as well and lives here with her husband so i have been craving a bit of independence, however i dont think that i will ever be making enough to move out of her house. my rhemy says i can only work part time and i noticed thats all my body will allow me to work as well so i am between a rock and a hard place because i would loveeeeeeeee to move out but i dont know if i will ever have the funds because of the fibro. i will be graduating school in 10 weeks and even then part time wont be enough to pay rent and my other bills and believe me nothing is handed to me i pay for my car, my insurance, my credit card(s), and i try to contribute to a bills here as well and a heap of other bills, i pay them all with my tiny pay check. i was trying to see if there was any rental assistance here in the U.S or even if there were any options at all for me because it is getting quite difficult to live here. I would love to hear any suggestions. Thanks and gentle hugs

Oh dear, I totally get you. My mom is my biggest stressor, she stresses me like no one else. She yells most of the times, she is not very nice (most of the time in a bad mood - she also suffers from chronic pain/fibro but hers is worse than me lately) and just freaks out over everything. I feel like walking on eggshells at time, because if you dare to say something that sounds slightly like a criticism she will take it as you trying to fight with her.

I hope you can move out sooner than I did... I'm 29 and just now I am moving out because I'm getting married. But God... I have no idea how I could survive this long, lol. I really don't. Best of luck to you girl, I truly feel for you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
 
Thanks I'm just trying to exhaust all my options I wish it was easier but wish me luck. Hugs. I'll keep you guys posted on my findings and progress. As always thanks for the kind words and support my fibro friends lots of hugs
 
Oh dear, I totally get you. My mom is my biggest stressor, she stresses me like no one else. She yells most of the times, she is not very nice (most of the time in a bad mood - she also suffers from chronic pain/fibro but hers is worse than me lately) and just freaks out over everything. I feel like walking on eggshells at time, because if you dare to say something that sounds slightly like a criticism she will take it as you trying to fight with her.

I hope you can move out sooner than I did... I'm 29 and just now I am moving out because I'm getting married. But God... I have no idea how I could survive this long, lol. I really don't. Best of luck to you girl, I truly feel for you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Family tends to be a big stressor, be it a parent, spouse or child. They are the ones usually closest to us, they know how far they can push and let's face it...the have strings tied to our heart. (Another stressed out muscle!).

I've dreamed of a tiny house in the middle of no where, no address and no way in except by boat or chopper...that would keep them from visiting and staying to often! Lol

Trellum: I wanted to say congratulation on you up coming marriage. How exciting, best of luck to you and may you have a stress free wedding day!

Kerikay: the government LOVES to overwhelm you out of filing for any bennefits, it's usually not nearly has hard as they make it seem, but that being said, there are non profit groups to help you that are familiar with how to cut through the red tape. You might need a "case worker" you may even qualify for temporary disability. Please don't be afraid to ask for help and do it while you have the strength. Removing yourself from such stress maybe all your body needs to start healing. Maybe not but for sure the stress will make it worse. I did check on government housing vouchers, the "projects" are out of room in Manny areas so vouchers are issued as "section 8" in this area.
Good luck and keep us posted
 
@kerikay Assuming it's just you and no pets, perhaps you could look into a type of live-in situation? There are a lot of adults who work full time and would like someone to just keep an eye on their elderly parents. I know there are some agencies that post jobs like that, but of course my mind is blank right now. Sometimes they pay an hourly wage, and they're usually not full time, just here and there, and may involve running errands, cooking light meals. I've seen ones that offer free room and access to a kitchen. If you're lucky, you may be able to find one that offers separate accommodations such as an in-law apartment or guest cottage. If not, you could look for that type of listing, because they usually are less expensive than full sized separate apartments. I rented one before I moved into this place, and I also paid them $20/month for one of their satellite receivers, so I didn't have to pay separately for cable/satellite TV. There are also similar positions involving working with children, so that's another thing you could think about.

I know you're in Connecticut, and the cost of living is expensive up there. That's one reason I live down south. I don't know if you receive any sort of disability, but that's another thing to check into if you can't work full time. There are apartments throughout the country that set the rent as around 30% of your income, and some of those are nice, while others are definitely not. Before you sign anything or move anywhere, make sure you check for crime stats in that area, and do a drive by during the day, at night, and also on weekends, to see how the situation looks.
 
Ah, bravo Ms. Princes what a fantastic lead. And just to add one, if you are an animal lover, I've actually heard of live in pet sitters!
 
Thanks Friends I will look into all the options and suggestions.
I just had in mind of have 2 bedroom and a roommate so they make sure I'm ok. but cover there half of rent and stuff and my rent is covered by rent assistance's for my portion if it works like that.
 
Family tends to be a big stressor, be it a parent, spouse or child. They are the ones usually closest to us, they know how far they can push and let's face it...the have strings tied to our heart. (Another stressed out muscle!).

I've dreamed of a tiny house in the middle of no where, no address and no way in except by boat or chopper...that would keep them from visiting and staying to often! Lol

Trellum: I wanted to say congratulation on you up coming marriage. How exciting, best of luck to you and may you have a stress free wedding day!

Thank you :) I'm getting married t a guy who has a really stressing family though, but we will not be living in the same neighborhood... at least, lol. I often wonder if I could be trading my sometimes hellish life for an even more hellish one? I truly hope not, I've made it clear to him that I won't do something that makes me feel uncomfortable or get stressed... I've ulcerative colitis and can't allow myself to be stressed :( His family has been a great source of stress since the start, with all the drama, the insidiousness and such. Wish me luck, I will need it!
 
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