Old 05-03-2017, 12:55 PM #1 (permalink)
vickythecat's Avatar
Member
Registered Member
 
Join Date: 2017
Posts: 163
vickythecat has a spectacular aura aboutvickythecat has a spectacular aura about
vickythecat vickythecat is offline
Member
Registered Member
vickythecat's Avatar
Join Date: 2017
City: fibrocity
State: Earth
Country: EU
Diagnosed: 01/2013
Interest: I have Fibromyalgia, chronic pain, or chronic fatigue.
Posts: 163
vickythecat has a spectacular aura aboutvickythecat has a spectacular aura about
Default new doctor, how to make the best of the appoinment

Hi,

Yesterday I went to a doctor after 3 years of avoiding doctors. (had lost all my trust in doctors and hospitals, after they managed to mess up the basic/common injuries I had sustained after a fall. I now suffer even more thanks to their mistakes.)

I guess I am lucky that I live in a country where I can choose to go to any doctor that I like. So I went for the neurologist to talk about the tingling/numbness in my feet and extreme fatigue (and much much more). I had my 15 minutes in there, and as always I could not manage to tell my story, even though I had it written down in front of me!

So how are we, as patients, supposed to make the best of an appointment?

We all have a loooonnnnggg history and list of complaints, our own unique journey of diagnosis/misdiagnosis, related surgeries, accidents, new symptoms, old symptoms etc. But we only have 10-15 minutes with a doctor and giving them our whole history would be like information overload for them.

But on the other hand, I do think they should hear the whole story. I mean, for example, 'painful intercourse' seems like an unrelated complaint when talking to a neurologist, but what if it is that missing puzzle piece?

I also find it so hard to talk about myself face-to-face with another human being. On one hand, my mind goes 'never mind, I am not that important', but on the other hand what I really want to do is to beg for their help and that they take me seriously.
vickythecat is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 05-03-2017, 07:58 PM #2 (permalink)
Sagey's Avatar
Member
Registered Member
 
Join Date: 2014
Posts: 153
Sagey will become famous soon enoughSagey will become famous soon enough
Sagey Sagey is offline
Member
Registered Member
Sagey's Avatar
Join Date: 2014
City: Patchogue
State: NY
Country: Us
Diagnosed: 06/2011
Interest: Other
Posts: 153
Sagey will become famous soon enoughSagey will become famous soon enough
Default Re: new doctor, how to make the best of the appoinment

Hey Vickythecat,

I'm glad you went to the doctor.And although he wasn't able to help you with every issue, at least you got there and got the ball rolling.Its hard for us with long histories to tell the doctor all we have been thru.
Writing down your history was great idea! And although he was not able to cover everything . If he can handle your main complaint first and then deal with others at subsequent visits then that would be good.
Sometimes they like to deal with a couple of problems at a time so they can see the outcome and if there are any side effects to meds or anything they prescribe.

Maybe before next time you can make a history time line of your illnesses, this way he can have it to look over.He can keep it in the chart to look back on , when he needs to.

I experience the same thing when I see a new doctor. I go blank when he asks " what brought u in here today?" Lol. I think we all want them to understand how we got to this point.I guess being short and to the point, is the answer.Write down the rest for them.

Hope he helps u

Sagey
Sagey is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Sagey For This Useful Post:
diamond (05-04-2017), vickythecat (05-04-2017)
Old 05-04-2017, 08:22 AM #3 (permalink)
Very Helpful Member
Registered Member
 
Join Date: 2015
Posts: 1,221
diamond has a spectacular aura aboutdiamond has a spectacular aura about
diamond diamond is offline
Very Helpful Member
Registered Member
Join Date: 2015
City: somewhere
State: anywhere
Country: UK
Diagnosed: 01/2008
Interest: I have Fibromyalgia, chronic pain, or chronic fatigue.
Posts: 1,221
diamond has a spectacular aura aboutdiamond has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: new doctor, how to make the best of the appoinment

My GP of many years is leaving shortly..I am dreading having to start over with a replacement as there is so much more to me than whats in my notes. Mostly my GP knows me from our conversations....how i am limited, how fragile i have become due to all sorts of life events and that i need a gently gently approach or i will simply recoil and stay away....i know how hard it can be with new doctors when we have years of multiple symptoms that make the whole person to get the whole story across.

Doctors kind of glaze over after the first few sentences and start trying to come up with solutions or make a diagnosis based on limited information.

I agree with Sagey you could always follow your appointment with a written letter with full picture to attach to your file with any new or current doctor....the written words cant be overlooked and maybe digested before or after future appointments so that gradually the doctor gets a fuller picture.

I also find face to face really hard as it only takes one disparaging comment and i want to run away as i am over brimming with problems and pain i have low tolerance for poor attitude and minimizing my situation.

My hot water bottles are my best friends and never give me any grief or judgemental attitude like most humans! lol

Last edited by diamond : 05-04-2017 at 09:32 AM
diamond is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to diamond For This Useful Post:
vickythecat (05-05-2017)
Old 05-04-2017, 12:19 PM #4 (permalink)
sunkacola's Avatar
Member
Registered Member
 
Join Date: 2016
Posts: 189
sunkacola has a spectacular aura aboutsunkacola has a spectacular aura aboutsunkacola has a spectacular aura about
sunkacola sunkacola is offline
Member
Registered Member
sunkacola's Avatar
Join Date: 2016
City: In the country
State: Somewhere
Country: Uni
Interest: I have Fibromyalgia, chronic pain, or chronic fatigue.
Posts: 189
sunkacola has a spectacular aura aboutsunkacola has a spectacular aura aboutsunkacola has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: new doctor, how to make the best of the appoinment

when I start with a new doctor, I write on my computer and then print out a very succinct history, making it bullet-pointed, including everything but making it as brief and to the point as possible.

I use terms I know that they will use, like "bilateral" meaning both sides, and rating pain on the 1 to 10 scale. I give dates and lengths of time that something was bothering me. I try to keep this to under 2 pages in length, even if it means that I cut out some of the less vital information. I also take hard copies of all of my test results and a list of what medications I was on, for how long, when, and what the results were.

The doctor may not read it all before talking to me. but I can say "it started two years ago and then was off and on....you can read the details in those papers I gave you".

I never, ever depend on one office or lab sending reports over to another. At least 80% of the time they don't do it no matter how it is requested. The only way to be sure it gets to the new doctor is to get hard copies and deliver them yourself. (At least that is how it is here).

When seeing a new doctor, dress nicely and speak evenly and look him or her in the eye. Remember you are trying to make a good impression on somebody important. How you are perceived will affect the care you receive. Be very accurate and unemotional in your speech. doctors respond to that and if he/she likes you he/she is more likely to listen to you, believe you, and help you.
sunkacola is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to sunkacola For This Useful Post:
diamond (05-04-2017), vickythecat (05-11-2017)
Old 05-04-2017, 01:23 PM #5 (permalink)
Very Helpful Member
Registered Member
 
Join Date: 2015
Posts: 1,221
diamond has a spectacular aura aboutdiamond has a spectacular aura about
diamond diamond is offline
Very Helpful Member
Registered Member
Join Date: 2015
City: somewhere
State: anywhere
Country: UK
Diagnosed: 01/2008
Interest: I have Fibromyalgia, chronic pain, or chronic fatigue.
Posts: 1,221
diamond has a spectacular aura aboutdiamond has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: new doctor, how to make the best of the appoinment

I find it hard not to get emotional if i am in serious pain...although i agree its the best way to present yourself..otherwise they start blaming emotional problems !
diamond is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to diamond For This Useful Post:
vickythecat (05-05-2017)
Old 05-05-2017, 04:32 AM #6 (permalink)
vickythecat's Avatar
Member
Registered Member
 
Join Date: 2017
Posts: 163
vickythecat has a spectacular aura aboutvickythecat has a spectacular aura about
vickythecat vickythecat is offline
Member
Registered Member
vickythecat's Avatar
Join Date: 2017
City: fibrocity
State: Earth
Country: EU
Diagnosed: 01/2013
Interest: I have Fibromyalgia, chronic pain, or chronic fatigue.
Posts: 163
vickythecat has a spectacular aura aboutvickythecat has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: new doctor, how to make the best of the appoinment

Quote:
Originally Posted by diamond View Post

My hot water bottles are my best friends and never give me any grief or judgemental attitude like most humans! lol
I loovvveee this! Also because it is so true for me too!!!! Me and my hot packs = BFF's!!!!
vickythecat is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to vickythecat For This Useful Post:
diamond (05-05-2017)
Old 05-08-2017, 01:11 PM #7 (permalink)
sunkacola's Avatar
Member
Registered Member
 
Join Date: 2016
Posts: 189
sunkacola has a spectacular aura aboutsunkacola has a spectacular aura aboutsunkacola has a spectacular aura about
sunkacola sunkacola is offline
Member
Registered Member
sunkacola's Avatar
Join Date: 2016
City: In the country
State: Somewhere
Country: Uni
Interest: I have Fibromyalgia, chronic pain, or chronic fatigue.
Posts: 189
sunkacola has a spectacular aura aboutsunkacola has a spectacular aura aboutsunkacola has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: new doctor, how to make the best of the appoinment

Quote:
Originally Posted by diamond View Post
I find it hard not to get emotional if i am in serious pain...although i agree its the best way to present yourself..otherwise they start blaming emotional problems !
Yeah, it is very, very important to remain calm and rational and non-emotional when dealing with the doctors. They simply will NOT take you as seriously or work as hard for you if you do not. Guaranteed. Plan to go scream in your car if you have to, afterward, but stay calm when talking to the doctor, no matter what.
sunkacola is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 05-11-2017, 01:25 PM #8 (permalink)
vickythecat's Avatar
Member
Registered Member
 
Join Date: 2017
Posts: 163
vickythecat has a spectacular aura aboutvickythecat has a spectacular aura about
vickythecat vickythecat is offline
Member
Registered Member
vickythecat's Avatar
Join Date: 2017
City: fibrocity
State: Earth
Country: EU
Diagnosed: 01/2013
Interest: I have Fibromyalgia, chronic pain, or chronic fatigue.
Posts: 163
vickythecat has a spectacular aura aboutvickythecat has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: new doctor, how to make the best of the appoinment

Quote:
Originally Posted by sunkacola View Post

When seeing a new doctor, dress nicely and speak evenly and look him or her in the eye. Remember you are trying to make a good impression on somebody important. How you are perceived will affect the care you receive.
This totally makes sense, first impression matter a lot. Also because it is also very important to show them that you are not being a hypochondriac or that you are serious about this and the disabilities in your life.

That said, I had a friend who worked in the field of 'disability assessment' and she often told me that 'if you are well-spoken, speak coherently, dress well, look clean etc etc.', then the assessor will often also assume that you are not all that sick. I am sure this is not true for all assessors/countries.

I know going to the doctor is a different matter than going for an disability assessment, but it does confuse me a lot. When I went to the doctor last week, I had been preparing for 3 days in advance = cutting my hair/blow drying it so that it looked neat, shaving, cleaning/ironing the clothes I'd be wearing, practicing my sentences/wording - but the doctor did not take me all that seriously either. He basically said 'if your brain MRI comes back clean, you need to see a shrink' (I know, we have all been there)

Maybe he looked at me, saw that I looked 'well-taken care of', 'coherent' and thought I look like that everyday so could not be all that sick. I don't know...I wish a doctor would tell us what we should do in order to be taken seriously.

never mind me .... my mind is confused, I have poor social skills, I dont get people....
vickythecat is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 05-12-2017, 10:28 PM #9 (permalink)
JudyBluEyes's Avatar
New Member (Say Hi)
Registered Member
 
Join Date: 2017
Posts: 13
JudyBluEyes is on a distinguished road
JudyBluEyes JudyBluEyes is offline
New Member (Say Hi)
Registered Member
JudyBluEyes's Avatar
Join Date: 2017
City: Novato
State: California
Country: USA
Interest: I am being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and/or chronic pain.
Posts: 13
JudyBluEyes is on a distinguished road
Default Re: new doctor, how to make the best of the appoinment

I've never thought about getting all dolled up to go see my doctor. I mean, I'm clean and dressed and my hair is brushed, but I don't wear makeup and I like comfortable clothes. I've always used the exaggerate method, make everything seem worse than it is, the squeaky wheel thing. I've had the same doc for thirty something years so she knows me pretty well, but I still have to remind her sometimes about things like my sensitivity to drugs.
I hadn't gone for a long time because I figured even if it is fibro what could she do about the pain anyway except to give me some drug, like cymbalta, that I just can't take. The hardest part is getting everything you want to tell her in. I start with my list and it seems she grabs on to one symptom (I've had a stiff neck, so she prescribed ex rays, truns out I have degenerated discs) and goes on about dealing with that and then time runs out and I didn't get to everything and then I leave frustrated. So then I email her. Then I can write down everything, all the symptoms. That was how I got to see a reumatologist and got a diagnosis. But then I was given a script for cymbalta and sent on my way and I felt like it was, " oh you have fibromyalgia, here take this and you'll be just dandy". But it's not working out that way at all so here I am still having to deal with the pain and other symptoms so I'm looking at alternative methods.
JudyBluEyes is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 05-13-2017, 05:53 PM #10 (permalink)
sunkacola's Avatar
Member
Registered Member
 
Join Date: 2016
Posts: 189
sunkacola has a spectacular aura aboutsunkacola has a spectacular aura aboutsunkacola has a spectacular aura about
sunkacola sunkacola is offline
Member
Registered Member
sunkacola's Avatar
Join Date: 2016
City: In the country
State: Somewhere
Country: Uni
Interest: I have Fibromyalgia, chronic pain, or chronic fatigue.
Posts: 189
sunkacola has a spectacular aura aboutsunkacola has a spectacular aura aboutsunkacola has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: new doctor, how to make the best of the appoinment

Nobody ever said anything about getting "all dolled up" to go see a doctor, JudyBlueeyes. I just said, look presentable and speak clearly and rationally.
And, if you are fortunate enough to have had the same doctor for 30 years you don't need to be concerned with how you present yourself, so you would not really know what I am talking about.
The original question was about approaching a brand new doctor.

And of course no one approach works across the board with every situation. I just think it's the best approach to take to a new doctor most of the time. At least, in the USA it is. I don't know about other countries.
sunkacola is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to sunkacola For This Useful Post:
vickythecat (05-15-2017)
Old 05-14-2017, 09:54 AM #11 (permalink)
JudyBluEyes's Avatar
New Member (Say Hi)
Registered Member
 
Join Date: 2017
Posts: 13
JudyBluEyes is on a distinguished road
JudyBluEyes JudyBluEyes is offline
New Member (Say Hi)
Registered Member
JudyBluEyes's Avatar
Join Date: 2017
City: Novato
State: California
Country: USA
Interest: I am being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and/or chronic pain.
Posts: 13
JudyBluEyes is on a distinguished road
Default Re: new doctor, how to make the best of the appoinment

Oh Sunkacola, sorry! I didn't mean to come off as facetious. I just never thought about making a good impression on a doctor. And I have seen many new doctors over the years... rheumatologists, endocrinologists, dermatologists and other GPs besides my primary care doc. And I understand the problems of getting a doc to listen to you and take you seriously. It took almost a year, and many doctors and many prescriptions that did no good or made it worse, to get my Graves diagnosed. If it wasn't for my sister (who had Graves many years before I did) and me finally asking to have my thyroid tested I might have just wasted all the way away.. lol

But for me at least, the main thing is not what you look like but that you take an active role in your own health care. I know it is the hardest thing sometimes to get a doctor to listen to you, but you know your body better than anyone and it's good to have some info you can bring to the conversation. It is a lot easier today with the internet, although there is a lot of misinformation out there, there is also a lot of good info. And forums like this give us a chance to talk to others who suffer with the same problems and can give us some good advise.
JudyBluEyes is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply

Tags
als, complain, diagnosis, doctor, doctors, fatigue, feet, how to, information, lost, men, misdiagnosis, neurologist, story, symptoms, tingling


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
how to make cooking less of a torture vickythecat General Discussions About Fibromyalgia 14 02-02-2017 02:02 AM
how do I make the writing bigger marcus777 Suggestions, Problems or Bugs 0 04-06-2016 02:20 PM
what helps you make it through the day? cmetryme General Discussions About Fibromyalgia 9 02-23-2015 02:13 PM
how can i make them understand? taxi_tammy Moan, Complain and Vent 4 07-07-2014 02:41 PM
Does the weather make you cry Jenny Heart Moan, Complain and Vent 9 03-30-2014 05:40 AM

 
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:13 AM.
Copyright © 2017