Old 06-22-2017, 06:35 PM #1 (permalink)
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Default How to work?

I have fibromyalgia along with chronic migraines. this makes trying to work pretty frusterating, i dropped out of highschool because the severity of my symptoms and going undiagnosed. i have no idea how to get a less physically demanding job. i work at a royal farms (regional convient store/gasstion, like a wawa, sheetz, quicktrip etc but we do have a deli and we make fried chicken) i cant do half of the required work, im constantly calling out, and my managers are yelling at me saying im not trying hard enough. the stress makes my pain so much worse. not to mention being burned by fryering oil or having to lift things, it causes a flare up and then i call out and and then my manager makes me work even more the next week to punish me or something. i cant even go to the store or go for a drive because working 27 hours a week there tears me apart. when im off i lay in bed and recover from the week. this is torture and my health is decreasing exponentially. and no one takes me seriously at work. they just. dont. care. this post was mostly to vwnt but also to see if there were any suggestions. i cant quit, i have bills like everyone else. and disability seeming like a daunting task, impossible even. and im only trained for food service, i dont have any qualifications for an office job. i see so many "how to work when you're chronically ill" but theres nothing about how to work when youre chronically ill and uneducated and poor. i cant take less hours or find anothwr job. im terrified.
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Old 06-22-2017, 08:08 PM #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to work?

hey, queeremo,
You are in a tough spot, and I feel for you.
The thing is, though, that there's only one way for things to be better for you and that is for you to do something different. You are young, and if you change how you are doing things now you won't have to spend your whole life working dead-end food service jobs that will probably ruin your life because your body can't take it.

Now, HOW to do something different is another thing..............and it is terribly hard when you are feeling totally stuck. And in one way you are stuck, bills to pay and no education. But there's one thing that is not stuck and that is your mind. You gotta use your brain to come up with a way out of this.

There are thousands of other jobs, and there are many training programs and assistance programs and schools and classes and places that can help you. Even the library near you may have advice or help......tell a librarian about your problem and see if you get advice on where to go for help in training for something better.

Research is always your friend. Find out where all of the employment securities sites are near you and go to all of them, one at a time. Ask each time for someone to give you direction to a training program, financial aid, job search help, and so on. I say go to all of them because if you only go to one and the person you talk to happened to get out of bed in a bad mood that day you can get nowhere and get discouraged. What you have to do is talk to everyone you can and if they can't help you, then ask them to refer you to another person and so on. don't take no for an answer and keep asking for someone to help you to help yourself into a better job and/or training for a better job.

If you just never ever give up eventually you will find a way out of your predicament.
I know it seems impossible, but you don't have to do it all at once!! Take it a day at a time. If all you can do one day is make one phone call, then tell yourself good job for doing that. But don't give up.
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Old 06-22-2017, 09:20 PM #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to work?

I understand her concerns as I searched for years trying to find a job I could do with my limited strength and fibro fog. My first job was doing light care giving to elderly neighbors and now I do light cleaning at a local community center. There are jobs out there but you need to think of those that you might really enjoy or a field of work that you would find interesting and go in that different direction. Also I recommend part time work at first to see how things go and how well you can manage.
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Old 06-23-2017, 04:34 AM #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to work?

I totally agree with Sunkacola.

I know it feels like you can't find another job, you can't go into another field, but that is only a situation you are in now. You have to focus on the future and you first have to get used to the idea that you can do other things (other than 'food service') for a living. Research is key. Also getting to know yourself. What are you good at, what do you like to do, what kind of a job would be physically and mentally less straining on you?

For the last question, you have to think about the whole picture. I worked in office jobs my whole life, but I used to get so stressed out because I always felt people were watching me, so I worked nonstop, without taking breaks, typing typing typing, all tense and stressed out, no matter how much work I had done that day, I felt like it was never good enough....it finally gave me tendinitis and bursitis in my shoulders and chronic neck pain and head aches. Something so simple, yet when you overdo it, it ruins your life. Stress and the actions we take due to stress can ruin our bodies and minds.

So think about your stress levels. I am sure when your manager asks you to ''push on through' that it puts a lot of stress on you. How can you minimize that? Does it make you angry, want to cry at moments like that? what can you do to take yourself away from the situation and tell yourself 'My boss is a cruel man, who does not understand my situation. I might never be able to change him/her, but I can change the way I react to his negativeness'.

Is there anyone you can talk to about your frustrations? At work or at home? Or anyone in a supervisor role that you can communicate well with? Can you switch to hours that are maybe less stressful, where maybe less frying/lifting happens?

Did you look for ways to lift differently? In household chores, I myself have learned to do almost everything differently. Instead of taking one large trash out, I now have little trash bags that I bring outside throughout the day. When doing groceries, I make sure I either have my lovely shopping buggy with me (wheels - whoever invented them, thank you from me too!) or I only carry a maximum of 2 kilos/4 pounds in a bag that leans against my body. By spreading the weight of whatever you are carrying in larger area of your body, the strain becomes less. Thus also less painful. Next time you have to lift up something, think about other ways to lift it up. Can you maybe distribute the weight by opening up the box and taking some contents out? Can you maybe push it through the floor with your legs so you minimize the distance? are you lifting it up using your core muscles?

To avoid the bad smells getting to you, think about the smells that relax you. For me, I love the smell of soap. That clean smell. I finally found a body oil that I carry around in a little container. I also can't stand smells, and in the heat, where I live, people start to smell real bad (I know - disgusting!). I put that oil on my nostrils and close my eyes whenever I have to take public transportation. It takes me to another place and relaxes me. You can also relax by simply stepping outside and breathing in and out 10 times. This will also relax you, give you a time out.

And my last advice is to try your best to be physically fit and strong. Whenever you can, do strength exercises. You can do just 10 sit-ups every other day, and just standing up, you can engage your stomach muscles by contracting them. You can work on your leg muscles while sitting down. Look up videos online for basic, pain-free exercise options.

You are stronger than you think you are. It takes a lot of strength and integrity to be able to hold down a difficult job like yours. My total respect to you.
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Old 06-23-2017, 06:52 AM #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to work?

Nothing to add much as all the above is great advice...my 10 penneth is doo try too look after yourself and find a way out of high stress and high physical demanding job sooner than later.

If you help your mind and body now your fibro will be much less likely to progress so you are worse as the years go by.

A training scheme that is paid ( i dont know US system we have apprenticeships) or less manual high pressured work would take so much strain off of you.

Is there something hobby or interest wise you could do to make an income that's enough to live on. How about dog sitting or could you develop your computer skills and work from home at some sort of basic data input job or try and find a low pressured job in an office as a junior making tea and generally light filing for the more senior staff.

I feel for you its a tough situation that seems hopeless and that you have so much pressure with bills to pay and sunkacolas advice as try every place..it just takes one opening and your whole life could improve for the better...

Even working sat down as some kind of reception work...i know you say you aren't educated but maybe you could get some help in educating yourself to move things forward.

I know this all sounds simplistic on paper and doing and the effort and energy with fibro must make change seem impossible.

I send you a big hug as being frightened is awful way to live on top of fibro to get through every day.
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Old 06-23-2017, 10:37 PM #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to work?

Hi , I'm really sorry life has been this rough!
There's nothing more stressful then $ problems. Except your health.
Explore your local United Way services, local Churches . There are private organizations who have $ help for certain situations.
Your goal is to make a plan you can do to survive. That job is too rough. There's no way you can keep that up .
What about finding a live in careproviding job where you help a Senior with daily care? You need a basic background ck. And basic cooking skills, (Homeshare. Org) . Matches individuals needing free housing in exchange for companionship and household help.
Think about writing a list and doing 1 thing everyday on that list to meet you goal . You are #1. Don't be bullied into feeling bad if you have to call out at your job because you don't feel well . Your #1 and Your health is #1.
Get in touch with your local food shelf and take what you can for services because you deserve it.
Ask about finding a employment counselor at your local unemployment office you can work with to find a job that makes you happy.
Put yourself first , and strive to move forward out of that job! As hard and impossible as that seems right now to quit , take the step and give your notice as soon as you can set enough food and $ aside for 2 months, even if you have to let a bill go .
Keep it small steps .
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Old 06-23-2017, 11:05 PM #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to work?

I understand how terrifying all this is . I have been alone struggling also with the same challenges at a point in my life. Alone.
When you are trying to hold onto something that feels so out of control , you just have to cut it loose before it kills you .
I can give you a promise it's going to be okay. Work towards the goal to leave that job. As soon as you do that your stress will be better and you'll feel relief.
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Old 06-24-2017, 01:26 AM #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to work?

thank you so much im overwhelmed from the support here, i havent had support like this since ive been diagnosed and this is super helpful thank you all
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Old 06-25-2017, 11:06 AM #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to work?

let us know if you get any where...good luck and take care of yourself..be sure we are all rooting for you.x
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