Old 06-25-2017, 12:04 AM #1 (permalink)
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Default Calling out of work

i feel guilty and embarrassed when I call out of work. Ive been yelled at quite a lot about my disability being fake and that im selfish when i call out (managers saying this) its struggling, but i usually get through it by reminding myself a few things. i know its stressful for a lot of ppl.
1. if i dont call out when i need to one day, ill probably end up having to call out for longer. ignoring my body pain is the wrong decision.
2. they cant equate my life long condition, to the task of calling someone to take my shift. it might be a hassle or they may be understaffed for a few hours, but thats nothing compared to having a chronic, lofe long condition.
3. if i go to work, how productive will it be. will i be crying in the office all day? giving customers wrong change or messing up orders because of fibro fog? if im hurting more than id help, its not worth it.
4. i have papers signed by my doctor saying if i need to call out, i can call out, i cant get in trouble for it.
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Old 06-25-2017, 08:41 AM #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Calling out of work

Queeremo, I sympathize with your situation. I have also been in jobs where I was not respected or appreciated, and many of us have been called lazy because people do not believe that we have the problems we have.

but the main thing is this: If you change your situation in terms of the kind of work you do you will not have to deal with this kind of bad treatment and the attendant stress for the rest of your life.

If you do not change the kind of work that you do, you will experience this your whole life.

There are jobs and types of work that will not put you in that kind of situation. but it is up to you to do what needs to be done to get there from where you are. People will help you along the way if you make a start.
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Old 06-25-2017, 01:25 PM #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Calling out of work

While you are stuck in this job dont let them beat you down..you have a serious condition your doctor supports you in allowing you to be off work if you are too unwell to go...so use these tactics you have written to bolster yourself while you are looking for alternative employment.

If it gets too stressful with your manager,,,,if you have the courage take this person aside, explain in simple but firm terms you have a disability..you are not faking or exaggerating and that you cant force your body to do what it wont...don't be bullied into feeling guilty ( easier said than done i know) and come here and let off steam if you need to.
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Old 06-26-2017, 11:23 AM #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Calling out of work

I'm extremely grateful that my boss and others in my office understand my situation and don't give me a hard time, but I still feel guilty and weak for having to call in frequently as well. At this rate I'm going to blow through my sick days in a few months. I've been trying to think of ways to make up hours, do some work from home, maybe come in on the weekend or something. The brain fog is the worst, getting to work and spending an hour staring into space cause you can't remember what you're supposed to be doing...

In any case, if you don't want to look for other work, definitely have a frank talk with your manager, make it clear that you want to work, but your condition won't allow you to all the time. Maybe you can figure out a more flexible schedule, work later on days you feel good? or work shorter hours? That might be harder with retail. I also recommend looking for a more flexible job though, something where you don't necessarily need to be there at a certain time and can get work done at your own pace.

Whatever you decide, remember it's not your fault. Feeling guilty or pushing yourself too hard will do no one any good in the long run (reminding myself of this constantly). Get lots done on the good days, get lots of rest on the bad days.

Hang in there!
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Old 06-26-2017, 12:21 PM #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Calling out of work

You are not alone! I've had to call out at least one week per month not including the past two weeks minus one day due to flares. Not fun! I've explained my situation to those who need to know on my job but tdy when I returned I had an email waiting from last Tuesday telling me HR would like to meet with me. I have to make money but at 45 years old I know I have to listen to my body. I didn't even use any of my 4 days left so I'll only have one day pay😕 I bring doctors notes when needed but there's nothing more to do. They tried making us comfortable bc I am a customer service representative who handles property taxes, which brings on constant daily stress not to mention being cramped up in a little cubicle for 8 hours a day. I was turned down for disability three times bc I'm educated and too young. 😳Oh well I guess I'll work until I get fired or fall out on the job. My rheumatologist advised I would not be able to hold down steady employment as well did the vocational expert at my hearing. I wish you all the best of luck!!! Just know you are definitely not alone!

Soft & gentle hugs!!!🤗😊
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Old 06-26-2017, 02:45 PM #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Calling out of work

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Originally Posted by missv View Post
You are not alone! I've had to call out at least one week per month not including the past two weeks minus one day due to flares. Not fun! I've explained my situation to those who need to know on my job but tdy when I returned I had an email waiting from last Tuesday telling me HR would like to meet with me. I have to make money but at 45 years old I know I have to listen to my body. I didn't even use any of my 4 days left so I'll only have one day pay😕 I bring doctors notes when needed but there's nothing more to do. They tried making us comfortable bc I am a customer service representative who handles property taxes, which brings on constant daily stress not to mention being cramped up in a little cubicle for 8 hours a day. I was turned down for disability three times bc I'm educated and too young. 😳Oh well I guess I'll work until I get fired or fall out on the job. My rheumatologist advised I would not be able to hold down steady employment as well did the vocational expert at my hearing. I wish you all the best of luck!!! Just know you are definitely not alone!

Soft & gentle hugs!!!🤗😊
The rule of thumb of sorts is that, as long as you are working, you will be denied social security benefits
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Old 06-26-2017, 05:17 PM #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Calling out of work

I had no choice but to find a job bc I was out of work over the course of four years going through disability and when I found Akon that didn't ask much about my health I took it because I had been living with little income.
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Old 06-26-2017, 05:21 PM #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Calling out of work

Queerimo, so sorry your dealing with this. No doubt it makes your fibro worse.
There are laws against work place harassment. You have a disability and they are supposed to accommodate this not make it worse by basically calling you a lazy lire! You may want to read up on the laws in your state but harassment for a disability is prohibited on a national level. Start documenting dates/times/witnesses and what exactly was said.
I think once we are labeled as having a disability it's very hard to find new employeement so if not possible this may be your best bet to stop this bully.
My heart goes out to you.
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Old 06-26-2017, 06:03 PM #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Calling out of work

My understanding is that in order even to apply for disability you have to have not worked at all for a minimum of the two years prior to applying. If you go back to work at all then the 2 year period re-sets.

While what Eyesup says is true that there are laws about workplace harassment, unfortunately it is not just anyone who can claim to have a disability and therefore claim harassment based on disability. Of course, in this case, the OP does have one, but won't have any luck claiming it as such unless it is registered officially.

And without a lot of documentation from doctors who are willing to state that what she has is a real disability, trying to claim harassment won't get her anything but fired.

The parameters for disability are very well defined. They have to be, to keep people from claiming it when they are able-bodied. but it also means that a lot of people, such as those with CFS and fibro, fall through the cracks.

Queeremo would be better off using her energy to move to better employment than trying to fight a losing battle with the boss she has.
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Old 06-26-2017, 06:51 PM #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Calling out of work

Very interesting line of discussion! That's really the conundrum. If you keep hanging in there, trying to do your job despite the pain, brain fog and fatigue, you can't apply for Social Security Disability. Today I looked into the process of applying for disability as a federal employee and found out that I really wouldn't have a chance of getting it unless I had already applied for SSD. Of course, I can't apply for SSD because I'm working.

How do folks get by with no income? As a divorced woman who is her own, sole source of support, I have no option to not work for a year or more until I qualify for some form of disability. It's difficult to be between a rock and a hard place, for sure.
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Old 06-26-2017, 07:54 PM #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Calling out of work

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Queerimo, so sorry your dealing with this. No doubt it makes your fibro worse.
There are laws against work place harassment. You have a disability and they are supposed to accommodate this not make it worse by basically calling you a lazy lire! You may want to read up on the laws in your state but harassment for a disability is prohibited on a national level. Start documenting dates/times/witnesses and what exactly was said.
I think once we are labeled as having a disability it's very hard to find new employeement so if not possible this may be your best bet to stop this bully.
My heart goes out to you.
This^

yes you need to document everything. You also may want to consult an attorney. Yea its costs, but the attorney can advise you the best course of action

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Old 06-27-2017, 08:28 AM #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Calling out of work

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This^

yes you need to document everything. You also may want to consult an attorney. Yea its costs, but the attorney can advise you the best course of action
I would be very interested to hear what an attorney would say.

I hope that I am wrong about this, for the sake of the OP, but I think a lawyer would say that unless you have an officially registered disability, with much documentation from doctors who are willing to back up your disability claim, you won't get anywhere claiming harassment based on disability.

Where I live, there's a referral service where you can see an attorney who specializes in the feild that you need help with, for 30 minutes for advice for a cost of $25.

That is long enough to get the questions answered. If there's a service like that where you live, you might want to check it out.

It is very difficult to get on disability for people who have no one to support them if they don't work. Just another way that the health care system in this country sucks. If we had a good national health care system the way we should, it would be better.
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