Old 11-29-2017, 07:57 PM #1 (permalink)
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Default Getting in over my head.

Have you ever gone in over your head? Learning how to Wait.....again, suffering for not waiting, again. When will I ever learn?
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Old 12-01-2017, 06:01 AM #2 (permalink)
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Wink Re: Getting in over my head.


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Originally Posted by moe1959 View Post
Have you ever gone in over your head? Learning how to Wait.....again, suffering for not waiting, again. When will I ever learn?
Unfortunatly, yes. Processing psycholgically that we are unable to do what we want is an extraordinary feat to overcome. I also have degenerative disc disease and systemic arthritis. When I start overdoing tasks that will surely lead to a day in bed to recover, my husband gets so upset, he sees it coming and says to stop but I feel driven to just get everything done and pay for it.
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Old 12-01-2017, 08:44 PM #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Getting in over my head.

Yep! I just cant go go go any more. . I can have grace for others, learning to give myself a break,,,,well that hasnt happened yet.
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Old 12-01-2017, 09:02 PM #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Getting in over my head.

moe, your recent inspirational advice on giving ourselves permission to have a break or 'give ourselves a break' was a fabulous gift to me! Your shaving one leg analogy says it all!

I'm thinking of you and sending you a big dose of permission to take your own medicine! Go on, you'll be glad you did. x
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Old 12-02-2017, 01:21 AM #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Getting in over my head.

I'm also suffering from the " getting in over my head" symptom.

It's very bad habit where I just couldn't help my self and had to go too far with everything that I do." I just can't help it I have to see the end of it" or " just a little more I'm almost there!" *sign* when will I'm ever going to learn?

It's not that I don't know how it would turns out afterward, it just that I hate failings or unfinishing situations. I'm not a half way doer but I have to learn how to be, but mentally how can I ever full cope with that???
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Old 12-04-2017, 01:29 PM #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Getting in over my head.

On my job I am not usually required to lift heavy things or do the big mop jobs. But when I started working there the help was little to none and so since I hate seeing dirty floors and jobs undone I would pitch into help. Well I managed to screw up my left arm from lifting heavy boxes and just healed up from that, so not suppose to lift or mop. But what happens when no one else shows up to do their job? I pitch in and help and wear myself out again and again. I think it stems from wanting to do the best job I can and forgetting I am not really able to do this anymore.

On Friday, we give out boxes of food to elderly people and they weight about 10-15 pounds, and as per usual no one showed up to help so I was stuck with the job of taking the boxes to their cars. I took out over 20 before the help showed up. So yes over doing seems to be something we all have in common.

Do you think we all are very hard workers who for some unknown reason have all gotten this disease called fibro and if so why take us who are dependable out of the work force?? For what reason? Hopefully someday we will have a answer for why we have this illness.
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Old 12-05-2017, 01:14 PM #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Getting in over my head.

1swede, I can completely relate to what you are saying.
In jobs I have had, I was always the one who would pick up the slack, even things that were not my job to do, because.....well....it had to get done, and Somebody had to do it and so I would do it.

the thing is that of course I learned that pretty soon everyone noticed that, and while the boss might appreciate it, the other people I worked for simply started taking advantage of it. Knowing I would do it, they shirked their own duties and left them to me.

You would think that I would have stopped doing it, but I am either dumb or else just have too ridiculously strong of a work ethic, because I couldn't stand to just walk away and leave something undone that needed to be done. So the situation always just got worse.

Even now, it is very hard for me to say no. I have my own business, and should have cut back more on how many days a week I work, but when someone calls me and says they really need me, I just never seem to be able to say no.

I know that I have a choice: either I cut back, or stop working completely, or else one of these days I will hurt myself or else the fibro will get so bad that I won't be able to work at all. Or do anything else I want to do!
I should stop working so much while I can still do some things I want to do and I don't know why I don't.

I think it is possible that many, although I am sure not all, people with fibro are those who were hard workers and/or accomplished in their lives. But I don't think there is any reason, as such, that these things happen. they just simply do. Good things happen to good and bad people, and so the bad things. that is just life, no reason for it, just nature taking its course.
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Old 12-05-2017, 07:09 PM #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Getting in over my head.

I did not mean to suggest that there is a evil force out there causing us to get or have fibro, but did does seem odd that so many people are affected by it now. Many doctors claim it has been around for a long time and called different names over the years. However if that is the case why do so many doctors declare it does not exist.

From most of our community members who have been on for a long time it does seem that at least here we are all over doers and try to take on too much in one day. I used to muli-task making lists of everywhere I needed to go and plan a day a week to get it all done. Now I am lucky if I get one or two things done. This weekend I had planned on baking but felt to bad to get anything done.

Maybe natures course is because we do too much and don't rest enough until it is too late.
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Old 12-07-2017, 06:40 PM #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Getting in over my head.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1sweed View Post
I did not mean to suggest that there is a evil force out there causing us to get or have fibro, but did does seem odd that so many people are affected by it now. Many doctors claim it has been around for a long time and called different names over the years. However if that is the case why do so many doctors declare it does not exist.

From most of our community members who have been on for a long time it does seem that at least here we are all over doers and try to take on too much in one day. I used to muli-task making lists of everywhere I needed to go and plan a day a week to get it all done. Now I am lucky if I get one or two things done. This weekend I had planned on baking but felt to bad to get anything done.

Maybe natures course is because we do too much and don't rest enough until it is too late.
Yes, this^^

Your last sentence is very likely to be true, in my opinion.

and of course, I didn't mean to imply you thought there was an evil force or anything. sorry if it sounded that way.

There could be a number of reasons why it has been around for a long time but now doctors refuse to believe it exists.
This is JMO, of course------It has been around a long time, but called other things or, in women, put down to " female hysteria", as most things were for hundreds of years.

Now, it is being called Fibro, and 20 years from now it will be called something else, in all liklihood.

Doctors who refuse to acknowledge it exists may be doing so out of personal prejudice, but I think also that the insurance companies, who run everything having to do with healthcare these days, including what the doctors are allowed to do, don't want it to be diagnosed because they don't want to pay out for it.
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Old 12-07-2017, 10:34 PM #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Getting in over my head.

No I did not think you mean't anything by your answer, my last words on that post were written badly. lol I just added a set of video's where a doctor explains more about our condition and what research has uncovered. Be sure to watch them all. Would be nice to have more open mined doctors like him around. I like your very informative posts.
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Old 12-09-2017, 01:07 PM #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Getting in over my head.

I watched the videos 1 sweed and was shocked that at the beginning the doctor admitted fibro is regarded as a waste basket disease during training.

This made me look up more about the UK and i see fibro /ME is still not listed as a reason for disability benefits. I also just watched the Jennifer Brae ME documentary and she was diagnosed with conversion disorder which i think in UK is called somatic disorder.

So pain felt for psychological reasons like wanting sympathy or learnt behaviours where pain gets you attention in a family or an emotional cause where you think the pain is worse than it is.

This makes me so mad and is one reason for years i managed my condition with very few doctors visits as i had had anxiety issues during some tough times in my life that were in my notes so i knew straight away i wouldn't be taken seriously.

I don't know how without proof of some kind through more research we will ever get the respect we deserve.

To me respect is so important....i don't want sympathy..in fact being looked down on as poor you makes me want to run a mile from anyone be it doctors family or friends.

I was also what i call 100 percenter...everything done to high standard and not able to let things go or be slap dash...'that will do' kind of person.

I actually was proud to be that way..lol but its done me no favours as I'm sure if i had a more couldn't care less attitude my brain might have got more rest as i would often be awake planning and thinking long before i got fibro..even fun stuff my brain just lacked an off button.

I think this is one of the keys to fibro....but probably there are many keys.

My dad has the same personality type and has ME too and was also very active until suddenly struck down and hospitalised way back in the 70's.
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Old 12-09-2017, 11:02 PM #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Getting in over my head.

When I started watching those video's I had the same reaction as in no wonder it takes so long to find out what is wrong if some doctor's feel this way and teach new doctor's in this manner. But then as I continued to watch the video's this doctor pointed out from research and studies that fibro is a neurological disorder that involves the brain and brain stem and spinal cord. It is a lot like MS in the way it behaves as messages don't get though right concerning pain issues. Interesting enough to share with everyone here.

So while there are doctors who continue to believe fibro is nothing, there are others out there searching for answers and better methods of treatment. As he mentions in his last video there is always hope.
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Old Yesterday, 11:55 AM #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Getting in over my head.

diamond, I am like you....a 100% person, always striving to make what I do perfect. I always know that nothing is genuinely perfect, but my thought is that if you don't strive for perfect you never even get to excellent.

As for the diagnosis of somatic disorder I guess I don't really blame doctors for doing that, because it is out of a combination of ignorance and being under the thumb of the insurance conglomerate.

But what I think is that it is the farthest thing from the truth.

I know I, and I bet a lot of you are just the same, have hidden my pain for years and years, never went to a doctor about it, and certainly did not even mention it to my friends.

The very last thing in the world I ever wanted was attention because of my pain!! Even now, that I do go to a doctor in order to get the medication that allows me to continue to work and function, I do not ever talk about it unless I meet someone else who has it and then I allow myself to discuss it with them for a few minutes.
Only a few minutes, then we have to go on to something else and if that person is the kind who wants to talk about it all the time I pass on being around that person.

The vast majority of people who know me have not the slightest idea that I have fibro or chronic pain. I would bet that is the cast for 80% of fibro sufferers, so claiming it is used to get attention is truly bogus.
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