Old 08-23-2015, 01:23 PM #1 (permalink)
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well this will probably be deleted or ban me o well im in a mood


I wander life and the internet hater rejected ridiculed laughed at for what i cant change i walk this life

alone my path has been chosen for me to be alone alone and rejected until the end of time

the end of time will it be peace or just more misery to be judged in life and death what is

hell will there really be a difference from life to death for we all must pay the price of our

sins and mine is a never ending hell on earth 12 times or more i have been told i should have

been dead but my punishment and suffering was not finished so i was denied suicide is a waste

of time after that just be denied and punished more and im not a quitter a life of eternal pain

mental and my body is my punishment for the life i have lived

sent to walk the desert with no water no animals empty hot dried out like my insides

taught to crave and beg fro more abuse and punishment and ridicule more beatings please

sir wanting to be back locked in the dark room they like to lock you in learning to like and

take it all because somewhere somehow i earned it deserve it and now must take my

punishment till its over if its ever allowed to be over
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Old 08-28-2015, 06:41 PM #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: life punishment

Well I don't see why u would be banned my love.
I hope we're a bit more understanding then that.
And there comes moments where we simple can't hold it all in and it's burst out ,like u just did.
Let me tell u your not alone. My brother and his wife killed there self .lift was so unbearable they ended it all. My father wishes he was dead all the time ,mental illness .and he really means it ,he says inside his head is a living torture.
And yet some days me with my Fibro and my bi polar ,my mum is badly depressed and my dad had a full breakdown after my brother died.
And yet some days just some we laugh.
Trust me when I tell u three sick ppl in one house ain't no picnic. Yet as I lay here wide awake in the middle of the night again.with troubled thought racing through my brain ,I have been giving a life ,
You think your a waist , your wrong.everytime I read a post like yours I'm reminded what I lost, but at the same time being able to tell u my story is helping me more then any pill.and for that I thank you.see ppl like us ,u me and every other ill person are reaching out .and through computers we can without ever meeting.i can't walk I your shoes
I can't give u a hug or buy u a beer but I can listen .and I can tell u that the hug I'm sending out is as heart felt as a real one.
So keep being there fighter u have become,you are so much stronger then so many ppl.you keep going keep fighting .lifes not about winning the race it's about being in it.xxxxxxxxx
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Old 08-28-2015, 07:33 PM #3 (permalink)
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hes a good man with a big heart of gold. hes strong and knows that he has a hard life ahead of him. he has much more than i deal with everyday.
he wakes up positive and is willing to help anyone he can. even if it means more pain and suffering for him. im so proud of him. he has come a long way.
keep posting and helping my brother. im listening. hugs
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Old 08-30-2015, 10:38 AM #4 (permalink)
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Omg he not your real brother is he. U telling me I got to deal with two of u now .winks
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Old 09-02-2015, 01:04 PM #5 (permalink)
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he's my brother in pain darlin!
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Old 09-02-2015, 02:55 PM #6 (permalink)
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Thank god for that grins
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Old 09-02-2015, 04:05 PM #7 (permalink)
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you really dont want to meet my brothers!

even i dont talk to them!
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Old 09-03-2015, 01:08 PM #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: life punishment

i just now saw the responses thank you all cmetryme no words thanks.

my counselor like i said im to driven from my past i dont know how to quit or give up or stop

suicide a thought yes but thats quitting and my religion and my wife and giving life what it wants

i just wish more would take time to dig to ignore to find and see what cmetryme has taken time to find meet and see

but kinda sick i expect and am used to it also sick i love to just torture the forums who want to bash me with

nice comments o i still love you etc so fun to watch how mad how many of the quit side line lurkers start jumping

in over being nice i may act wild silly obnoxious every word you want but i just like to have fun and often loose

track of boundary's and no im 42 i dont need tips its as good as it gets or some posts i may express to much personal views

i have learned more than ever through counseling i cant change most of my outside im bipolar 2 and adhd and volatile combo

you have 50/50 or less easiest described i got a 5 year old in my 42 year old head always wanting to play or act out or up

and my life has been judged hated and misunderstood for that fact!

nobody sees i was raised military i made my wifes parents made because 3 years i kept calling them sir and mam

i treat women like queens i get mad that fibro wont let me do house work because i was raised my wife works

i dont so i do the house work so she can come relax or that i have old school values mixed with military old knight and others

i have mixed and adopted and live without exception or like i guess a good example that Texas or IL cop i would have jumped in without

stopping to think them or anyone life is valuable the ultimate honer is to give yours so another may live i was stabbed working for a alarm

company shoving a officer out of the way my child hood and life has shut me down but that is a blessing i can easily do these and probably

would even if i had emotions but not feeling i dont have to beg plead cry forums people on email or life sorry if cold but hey talk dont disappear

it stopped hurting and bothering me probably 10 years old!

i have seen life i have cheated death to many times i have felt its cold grip rip people from my hand

i have gone on motorcycle trips with my dad the open air the places makes life look different

makes you rethink what worth our time me it taught me chasing people isnt worth the time

nature trips seeing things thats more worth it and better spent

thank you all yall take care thanks for the responses
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Old 09-05-2015, 12:33 PM #9 (permalink)
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I'm confused a bit but it's seems as it was only me and cmetryme to replayed your comment about ppl being overly nice and saying nice things was aimed at me. I'm bi polar two.ive had a lot of shit in my life but I don't shout about it. If u get fun out of tormenting ppl in forums then u need to stop.
To say I'm hurt is an understatement .and if it wasn't for the fact A I might be reading the post wrong or B I'd get banned I'd tell u where to shove it.
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Old 09-10-2015, 10:09 AM #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Forgetmenot View Post
I'm confused a bit but it's seems as it was only me and cmetryme to replayed your comment about ppl being overly nice and saying nice things was aimed at me. I'm bi polar two.ive had a lot of shit in my life but I don't shout about it. If u get fun out of tormenting ppl in forums then u need to stop.
To say I'm hurt is an understatement .and if it wasn't for the fact A I might be reading the post wrong or B I'd get banned I'd tell u where to shove it.
i popped in to see what others had to say this morning about pain, since the last 3 days have been off the hook, so frustrating. the op is a hard read, very stream of conscious but i like that, though a bit more punctuation would help with the read through. but the best thing about the posts here, in general, for me, is the sense of commonality, and the reading of the responses, which are usually so supportive and wonderful. so i just wanted to say, forgetmenot, that i read your first response (and you've sent ones to me as well), and i really loved and appreciated it. you have a beautiful day.
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Old 09-12-2015, 09:09 AM #11 (permalink)
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Your very kind thankyou x
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Old 09-12-2015, 06:55 PM #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: life punishment

I'm_Grouchy_And_Bite nice poems. I'm feeling for you and with you. Take it one day at a time. We will try not to overreact when your 5 year old says or does something out of line. We are all on a journey...the stress of containing all those thoughts in your head just makes you sicker, so get 'me out on paper, or computer or however. We will listen.
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