Old 05-17-2017, 04:51 AM #1 (permalink)
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Default what is 'normal' ....

I am almost 40. And it is only now that I am beginning to learn that many body aches and pains I thought were 'normal' are not normal whatsoever.

I've always woken up feeling exhausted, hated going to school because of the early mornings. I thought I'd grow out of it. But it was the same when I started working at a 9-5 job. Whenever I tried to talk to anyone about it over the past 30 years, almost everyone told me that they too hate waking up early in the morning, and that they did not like going to school or work either. The times I heard people, even doctors tell me that 'you are simply not a morning person'.... So I assumed my horrible mornings were 'normal' and I was just being weak.

I also ached and had pain very quickly. A little nudge would hurt like hell. I remember noticing this at primary school, playing with ball outside, and how I was seriously scared of the ball hitting me. Again everyone around me said they were afraid of the ball hitting them, because it hurt a lot, but with me the pain was truly unbearable, so I thought it was the same for them. So again, I thought my pain was 'normal' and I was just being weak.

Same with crowded buses. I hated them because people would bump into you, hit you with their bags and it hurt like hell. But of course, everyone hates crowded buses and everyone hurts when they got pushed about in a packed bus. So again, I thought my pain was 'normal' and I was just being weak.

Age 19 I started having serious neck/shoulder pains, and was referred to a physical therapist who specialized in massages. It hurt like hell each time. But I kept quiet. It hurt even more the days after. When I asked about it, the therapist said, smilingly, 'yes, it can hurt sometimes'. I didn't dare question the 'sometimes', it was 'always' for me, and so bad that while people were on waiting lists to see this therapist, I saw it as torture. So again, I thought my pain was 'normal' and I was just being weak.

I can go on and on about many other examples. All of these 'normal's were not normal at all, and it took me years to discover that. People hate going to school for many reasons - but it is mostly not because they are suicidal in the early mornings! Or a ball hitting you - yes, it hurts. But it is not supposed to make you so sick that you can't get out of bed the rest of the day. And yes, massages can hurt, but they are not supposed to leave you in so much pain that you have to take strong pain meds in order to function right afterwards. Or crowded buses? How I'd rather walked along a busy road than be in that bus.

But what triggered this vent is that I, again, discovered something that is 'not normal'.

My sister was sitting next to me complaining of swollen gums and she said: 'It happened again, I am so worried. I used a tooth pick and my gums are now swollen again. This is the second time'.

I looked at her in awe. I said 'Isn't it supposed to get swollen each time?' She said 'no, of course not.'. Then I told her about my gums, how each time I use dental floss or a tooth pick, my gums get swollen within the next hour. It is the reason why I hate flossing. Everyone hates flossing right? So I thought everyone hate it because of the swollen gums.

Almost 40 and I am now discovering that your gums are not supposed to get swollen after using dental floss/tooth pick. Just wow......

I don't get it. Is there something really wrong with me? wrong with my upbringing? lack of communication skills?

How does one know what 'normal' is????
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Old 05-17-2017, 10:28 AM #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: what is 'normal' ....

No vicky i think you are one of the rarer fibro sufferers and extra sensitive people that almost no one can relate to due to your level of pain responses.

I didnt suffer like you as a child but I am not surprised you have suffered depression or severe levels of anxiety when you body has reacted in this way all your life..you have basically been in self protection mode turning on a low to high level of fight or flight response in you for almost 40 years.

Human beings are not built to suffer pain and sensitivity to things like being hit by a ball or being bumped on a bus.

I have always been very emotionally sensitive and believe my fibro was brought on by way too much long term personal stress..and my body now is soo sensitive i can bring on all the symptoms of uti and pelvic pain and severe burning pain in my girls bits by gentle washing in the shower..I am not kidding and it can last for days once set off.

So i can get in the shower with no symptoms and get out with full on flare!

Like you when i was out and about i watched for anything from people bumping me in a crowd which i came to avoid to a dog off a lead when i went for a quiet walk incase it ran up to me and wacked me with its tail..as either of these would mean i could end up limping if it caught my knees or feet or in much pain if i was bumped in the leg or hip that would not subside.

I have just had another big stress 4 weeks ago...now my jaw and face head is so painful 24/7 i can barely speak and is so rigid my top and bottom teeth are bashing as i do talk...the reaction is so severe even my teeth and mouth hurts so bad and i have lost my voice as my throat muscles are so painful and weak.

Each day i lay down with ice bags on it all and in tears on and off..who would believe stress could cause such a huge reaction that wont ease off.

Other people would think i am weak or exaggerating but im really not.

So i believe you about your gums...i think your body is just so highly sensitized and i have lost count of the number of times someone tells me they have this or that but it doesnt debilitate them...sure to them it is bad..everyone wants to feel well and pain free but i think for a few the bad is kind of off the scale in many more ways.

I no longer no what normal is and find myself asking my friends silly questions as i think doing ironing or knitting must hurt after a while but of course it doesn't hurt normal people..

Like you i had light physio and a few exercises and my whole upper body seized up for 3 weeks to point i could barely reach out to turn on a light switch without severe pain.

LOL the physio said it wasnt normal and refused to treat me any more!

JOYS of our life!

Last edited by diamond : 05-17-2017 at 10:33 AM
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Old 05-17-2017, 11:11 AM #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: what is 'normal' ....

Wow, do I ever understand what you are talking about!!

This is the same problem that some individuals who have mental health disorders suffer.......often it takes them decades to understand that the things they experience are not, actually, what everyone else experiences, because they have gotten so very skilled at hiding it and blending in.

for instance, you may tell someone you are depressed, and they think they know what you mean because they felt down in the dumps for a few days six months ago.

This is why it takes so long to get help, sometimes.

I don't know, though, if there really is anything that can truly be called "Normal".

People who are "Normal" to your eyes may be hiding something extremely abnormal inside and you would never know because everyone wants to just get along in life and most people hide their fears, their pain, their psychopathy, whatever.
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