Old 09-20-2017, 08:50 PM #1 (permalink)
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Unhappy Dark Place

Hello Everyone,
I need a vent to people who understand what we go through.
I've been flaring pretty much the last 3 months due to it being winter where I am. I feel like I am in such a dark place right now, like I'm trying to climb out of a big hole but I just can't get out and keep falling to the bottom. I'm so tired, so very tired, all I can think about is the pain.
I have been trying to exercise the last few weeks because it's supposed to help Ha!! bull crap!! it makes my flares worse! I was finally out of flare and then exercising has just put me straight back in it! I only do very light exercise for about 20 minutes walking only it's not like I'm trying to run a marathon or anything. I have also been walking in the hydro pool at the local and I can't even do that.
I'm over feeling like this, I want to be able to do the things that I used to do, this is making me so depressed, what's the point.

Thanks for listening
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Old 09-21-2017, 08:01 PM #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dark Place

Hi there!
I'm sorry life's so hard! It never helps to be in a dark place ( winter is rough).
Sounds like you are down and out and not moving through life right now. I hope your not offended but you are needing a push to get out of that hole.
If your not on meds call your Dr. make and app. and start a antidepressant. You might have seasonal depression??
You need that help because that feeling is basically paralyzingly and you don't have to feel that way.
Just try that. Give yourself 2 wks and you should feel better. Just remember your never alone others feel or have felt that same way and it just is basically horrible.!!
Best wishes to you .
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Old 09-21-2017, 10:23 PM #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dark Place

I too an severely affected by fibro...the problem for those of us who experience severe pain with very little activity is the depression it causes is due to our situation..im not sure how effective anti depressants are when there is very good reason to be depressed.

MY fibro used to mean i could do more than i can now...i have been stuck indoors often in bed for over 2 years..im in severe pain all day..not the kind you can push through...that makes it much worse..my daily goal is to find away to make a meal and get a shower and then lat still to try and get the pain back tolerable from doing that.

The high light is using my lap top to email a goood friend or do some browsing or reading and then my arms and hand shoulders hurt so much i have to stop that too.

So i do sooo empathize with you Spent....maybe an anti depressant would life your mood and help you cope and also some help with pain too.

I wish you good luck..this illness is a beast and worse for some than others..but horrible for all.
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Old 09-22-2017, 05:16 PM #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dark Place

I completely get what diamond is saying here......can an anti-depressant help when there is a reason to be depressed. Hard to say.

But at the same time, there is the fact that depression feeds on itself (joy does as well) and it spirals down and down and down. Being depressed makes everything harder, and makes the pain worse, which makes the depression worse and so on.

I think that it would be worth a try to take an anti-depressant. It often helps people with fibro. If it even took the worst, most dark edge off the depression that might be enough to cause a change. Just a tiny little push in the right direction.

My image of this is like this: If something is, for instance, in orbit (which is what depression can be, going round and round and round), only the very slightest tiny push can change the orbit completely...it's size and shape and so on. A little bit more of a push and it won't be in orbit at all any more, but free and on its own. sometimes an antidepressant can be that little push.

I have had chronic depression and chronic pain. I started taking an antidepressant two months ago and it'd not a magic pill, but it has helped. I am still depressed, but not as much. I am still taking pain meds but am down to two-thirds to one-half of what I used to take. I thought a month ago that it was going to make a massively huge difference in my life, and I was being overly optimistic, as it turns out. But, hey....ANY improvement is still improvement, right? And the thing is, feeling even a tiny bit better can help you to start spiraling up instead of down if you are determined to help yourself.

Trust me, I have spent years in physical pain and depression. But I don't give up trying to find a way to get at least something going better. Even just a little bit better. The way I see it is, either keep trying or else go ahead and die, because if you just give up you may as well be dead.

That is only MY way of doing things. NOT trying to tell anyone else what they should do, and not intended ever to insult anyone, because everyone is different and you cannot know what it is like for another person.
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Old 09-22-2017, 06:21 PM #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dark Place

I agree with sunkacola we have to keep trying and if one person like sunkacola can feel a slight upward turn this has to be a change in the right direction.

its so hard to reverse the downward spiral but it just goes to show there can be chinks of light in the darkness.
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Old 09-25-2017, 04:34 AM #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dark Place

The sun is shining here today after a weekend of storms, and I really hope it starts to shine over where ever you are. And that you soon start to feel better. A gentle warm hug from me. And lots of strength and positive vibes.
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Old 09-25-2017, 06:13 AM #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dark Place

what a nice message vickythecat
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Old 09-26-2017, 12:02 PM #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dark Place

Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement.
I do take anti-depressnants I have been on them for about 7 years now. Been on a fair few different ones. I've been on Cymbalta for quite sometime now it also helps with the pain 'apparently' .
I was having another bad flare last week and normally I don't let it get me so down but when they are that bad and having put up with basically constant flare through winter the darkness got me. I was just so tired and down about being so sick all the time .
My husband took me away for a long weekend to visit my family which was jist exactly what I needed . Really put a smile on my face and got me out of my funk.
The only thing that makes me depressed is being in pain and not being able to do the things I used to. I wonder if the antidepressants can truly work when there is no cure for our pain. We can't always be strong and accept our situation 100% of the time.
I hate the way people look at me when I say I'm having a massive flare . It's a look of 'yeah right yoi just look tired harden up'.
Well all that said I am actually feeling a lot better mentally and I do feel strong again within myself. I can do this we can do this.
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Old 09-26-2017, 04:55 PM #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dark Place

Im glad you feel a little better and stronger and thanks for letting us know you had a good time with your family.
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