twiztc's blog

I seem to be getting a run of bad days more and more lately and my usual coping mechanisms don't seem to be working. At work I can still fake the smile and the happy voice on the phones but everytime I use the loo I ball my eye out from pain.
With the increased level of pain so to has the fatigue jumped up a few notches.

It's bad enough dealing with the day to day ups and downs of having a debilitating illness but then to get sick with even the most minor of germ and bugs is really hard emotionally and physically. I can shrug off a case of the sniffles and can make light of a mild case of a cold but anything more than that and I feel totally useless and I really hate relying on others even though these days I have to more and more.

My morning swim was a delight as usual with my ladies giving me a good giggle. That normally sets me up for the day but as i was getting dressed that telltale down below dullness aching was starting to bother me, i knew I had to get home and soon. Yep IBS had come visiting again so soon. I had gone into a bit of a remission where it had stopped be such a constant distraction a few months ago, but the last few weeks has been getting more and more troublesome.

I hurt so much in so many different places and in so many different ways its just not funny anymore.
People say to stay positive and I am normally one of those people that spin a funny side to it all and act nutty to cover up how i feel but today I have been reduced to tears most of the day, embarrassing as I am at work.

I had a long weekend and booked the Tuesday off, with my normal day off being Wednesday, giving me a glorious 5 days away from work. Plenty of time to get my room decorating project finished or close to.
As usual Hubby kept pulling me away from what I wanted to do to help him with his weekend project on making a start on the shed build.

I made the decision to stay at home today. I woke feeling a little bit better but I knew if I sat at my desk all day I would start feeling awful again so booked a sick day. Tomorrow is my normal day off so I should be fit for work on Thursday. I don't usually suffer too much from the round of winter bugs. I get them but usually manifest as a bad case of the sniffles but once in a while I get a bad one and it knocks me right off my feet and takes me so long to recover.

Ok, so I've not been so good at this daily blogging thing.
The trouble is I write in the forums, I do the daily 'good day to you all' and write in my pen and paper diary every night(I just like the feeling of old fashioned writing) so to do the blog too makes me feel like I'm stuck in groundhog day.

I was up at eight again this morning... headache still there but not quite as bad. I should have been busy again today but by the time I folded up my washing and gone shopping I didn't feel much like doing anything. I pottered about fiddling with a few easy things but didn't do much.

I pretty much have a permanent headache. Most of the time just lurking in the background and never really goes away, I'm pretty used to it and the lurky ones don't bother me so much now.
Once in a while it will rear up like a mean ugly dragon.
I should have known today would be a dragon day because on the way to work I was seeing vertical blue chunks in the sky, at the time just figured it was the way the hazy sun was playing tricks on my eyes against the different coloured clouds.

I was so tired last night that by the time I read the forum stuff and did whatever replies I wanted then wrote my diary, I didn't do the blog so I'll do yesterday and today together.