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I pretty much have a permanent headache. Most of the time just lurking in the background and never really goes away, I'm pretty used to it and the lurky ones don't bother me so much now.
Once in a while it will rear up like a mean ugly dragon.
I should have known today would be a dragon day because on the way to work I was seeing vertical blue chunks in the sky, at the time just figured it was the way the hazy sun was playing tricks on my eyes against the different coloured clouds.

I was so tired last night that by the time I read the forum stuff and did whatever replies I wanted then wrote my diary, I didn't do the blog so I'll do yesterday and today together.

Had a rough bugger of disturbing dreams reliving bad things past with a different twist. Less said about that the better.

The seasons are turning again and we had a few cold days over the weekend. I decided to take a long weekend this past one and did not even turn on my PC.

Hubby gave me NCIS box set with all the seasons in for my birthday, so my weekend were spent on the couch watching NCIS.

Being able to relax a bit really helps, and I woke up this morning with new hope and excitement for the week to come.

I just hope it lasts.

I feel weird today and I cant quite put my finger on why. I know im tired but not the sleepy sort of tired, more like the worn out exhausted kind.
Its like im not really here, like im a ghost of myself, i cant seem to concentrate. yep a fibro fog kind of day.

I'd had a night filled with nightmarish type dreams waking me up first after only fifty minutes of sleep then every couple hours after that. I was pretty damn tired this morning and stayed that way for most of the day. Luckily I was kept busy at work and it was also a fun day which helped keep me awake. My pains didn't really kick in till later in the day which was quite novel.
After a wintry start the sun came out lunchtime too. Nice.

No scary poetry today, I just can't seem to focus on anything today. I feel irritable and just plain out of it.

I woke up all happy and well rested, got the kids to school, fed the chickens and sat down to start working. Wham bam, gone is my focus. I can not concentrate, nothing keeps my attention, and I just want to go to bed and sleep it off. My legs have started their constant nagging cramping again as well.

How can a day turn from me feeling this is going to be a great day to crappy in a matter of minutes?

I managed to get my bum out of bed at nine this morning. I wanted to leave myself at least an hour before I went out the door. I hate having to rush around.
I went swimming with my ladies. It was so good to back in the water. I was surprised how missing just two week had left me with less stamina for my few laps. I stuck mostly to my water jogging instead.
I got a nasty headache since last night and so far hasn't gone away.

It seems that lately I have stepped into some kind of poetry thorn. It seems to be the most easy and natural way to describe how I feel about something. But like most things in my life this might just be a passing craze until I find something else to focus on.

My next poem.

Little Red Monster.

Little red monster,
please go away.
Just leave me alone!

You dig your nails into my body
The pain spreads like worms.
Through my stomach, into my back
Crawling up my spine,
wiggling into my brain.

I thought I'd write my woes to my blog instead of crying in the forums. I don't feel quite so broadcast that way. I'm not really an attention seeker, I don't say much about it at home or work except when I really have to and at times I want to scream shout and cry to someone how really awful I feel just to get it out of my system. I don't want sympathy or pity but the emotions of having an illness and not being able to do anything about it gets so bottled up sometimes I feel I will explode.
Today was one of those days.