Strong symtoms and toll on mental health

[Souuhayel]

Hello,

I just registered to this forum.
Since august and after my graduation (my thesis was stressful), I started to have insomnia, feeling down and pain in my knees that spread to the rest of my body.
I reached a level in September in which I could not sleep at night because I had so much pain. I had to take ibuprofen to relieve my pain and sleep.
Now my body aches all the time. it is horrible and I can live normally but it is so tiring, sometimes in the office, I can not even lift my arms because I am very tired.
I can work out and it actually relieves the pain a bit. Going to hot baths also helps for the night to relax. but after 24 hours the pain is back.
I am on Duolexitine 60 mg /day now for my anxiety and a short depressive episode but it is not relieving the pain.

I have not been diagnosed yet with fibromyalgia but I am a pharmacist and I have been reading about the symptoms and how it affects women more than men. As a man, I am very confused because I clearly have the symptoms..

I was wondering was should I do, it is hard to explain to others about the continuous pain, the inability to sleep, the fatigue...
It is starting to affect my mental state...

 

[JayCS]

I have not been diagnosed yet with fibromyalgia but I am a pharmacist and I have been reading about the symptoms and how it affects women more than men. As a man, I am very confused because I clearly have the symptoms..

Hi there, and welcome!
Well, of course 3 months is the absolute minimum for the diagnosis, so that and "10" other chronic pain diseases not having been excluded wouldn't warrant focusing too much on FM.

However you being a man doesn't need to confuse you at all, the numbers are tumbling.
What used to be 9:1, then 7:1, is now more and more being found to be 4:1 or if you look at wikipedia and the German research it points to: 2:1. One reason for this is that older studies used the tender point diagnosis, which in tendency seems to have worked more for diagnosing women than men. The research concluding 2:1 isn't actually fully confirmed yet, it's just been found by analyzing women and men, undiagnosed or diagnosed according to the newer criteria (can't remember if it was the 2010/2011 or 2016 ACR criteria). But that's your situation: undiagnosed, but apparently fully fitting the criteria.

So as you'll know it's important to get everything else excluded and even if there is something else you could consider it to be FM and whether or not, you'd definitely do good following our ideas and experiences here, which quite a few of us would suggest trying to get off of meds as soon as possible and try out all the many mental, physical, dietary, triggers and supplemental means of preventing, alleviating and coping.

 

[Souuhayel]

Thank you for your answer

I did not know that man started to be more and more affected by FM or in a way properly diagnosed.
i feel a bit reassured.

I am going through a stressful phase now (Job hunting), and it might be a somatization of my stress. I think I will wait until I find a job and see if the pain goes away. If not, I will definitely do the tests and have a final answer.

On the other hand, the forum is definitely a great source of information

 

[JayCS]

I did not know that man started to be more and more affected by FM or in a way properly diagnosed.

Yeah, there's no evidence that men are getting more affected, it's only been a matter of diagnosis - other reasons may be that men seem to tend to self-care & go to doctors less, which makes it difficult to see what exactly they have.

 

[cookiebaker]

hi Souuhayel, and welcome

yes, stress can definitely bring on many symptoms - pain, insomnia, and so many other problems. Stress does terrible things to our bodies.

Taking care of yourself, and trying to reduce your stress as much as possible will help.
Good sleep is also very important - sleep is when our bodies try to heal.

Doing what you can to help your body, and your sleep, is very important. If hot baths help, then try to do that as often as possible.
Try to take some time every day to mentally de-stress - yoga, tai chi, meditation, whatever you can do to help with that.
Exercise is also important, but try not to over do things... over doing it will just make things worse.

I have to agree with JayCS - it isnt that FM is affecting men more often now, it is more a function of diagnosis - it cant be diagnosed if men dont go to the doctor as much, which is often the case... not "manly" to go..

Whether or not you actually do have FM (and it does sound kind of like you do), you are welcome here to chat, get ideas on how to cope, etc. As you are finding out, medications typically do not help much for FM pain.. and sometimes they actually make things worse... I personally have tried no less than eight different meds with either no benefit, or bad side effects...

 

[sunkacola]

@Souuhayel , welcome to our forum. There is no valid information to indicate that women actually get fibromyalgia more often than men do. But it is less reported by men. I think that many times a man doesn't report the symptoms unless they get super bad because men in most societies are taught they have to be strong and push through. Some women get this too, but men get it more and it is more deeply ingrained in men, I think.

I was wondering was should I do, it is hard to explain to others about the continuous pain, the inability to sleep, the fatigue...
It is starting to affect my mental state...

Here ( below) are some suggestions for what you can do. I wrote this post because when i started doing my own experimenting as I describe in the post my whole relationship to fibromyalgia changed and I was empowered instead of feeling like the victim of the syndrome. I recommend reading it and doing what you can.

As for explaining it to others, there are threads in this forum that are devoted to that and I recommend you read them because they not only have some good ideas, they can also make you feel less alone. Many people struggle with what and who to tell and how to go about it.

My basic advice is: Don't tell anyone who doesn't need to know. If you have to cancel something and you don't think that person needs the details just say you don't feel good.
When you talk about it do so without emotion. Don't complain to others, as they won't be likely to have patience with that.
Don't try to convince soeone or argue about it if they don't believe you. Instead, let them know kindly that if they won't believe you it may affect your ability to be around them in the future.
One thing I always say is that I won't ask them to help me, unless it's truly necessary or an emergency, same as if I didn't have fibro. But equally, I do request that they not do things that will make it harder for me, and not believing me or challenging me will do that.

This does affect your mental state. It still affects mine, and I have been working with this pretty successfully for years now. But I have learned to manage my mental state just as I manage my physical state, and a huge part of that is reaching a poiont of acceptance. That's not easy and it takes time. but while you are working on that you can do many things that can help how you feel mentally and physically.
Talk to us if you don't have others. You can complain or vent all you want here and we will try to help.

My advice for managing fibromyalgia (especially for newcomers)

I am not a doctor or anything, just a person who has lived with fibromyalgia for several years now and has done a lot of research and trial and error experimentation. What follows is just basics. There are a lot of variations. You will find your own versions of everything I say, as this is not a...

www.fibromyalgiaforums.org

 

[Auriel]

Hi souuhayel, welcome to the forum ️ I've found that apart from my usual food and drink culprits (gluten sugar caffeine) stress is a definite factor for my fibro flaire up, I'd been having quite a few good days (even going for walks and gym) then on Sunday a male neighbour did something that caused me upset (triggering my past and triggering my fibro) and it's not (and ive) not been right since, so yes definatly (as the others have said) stress definatly plays a factor, "if" you have it, also CONGRATULATIONS on your graduation

 

[fimi]

on Sunday a male neighbour did something that caused me upset (triggering my past and triggering my fibro) and it's not (and ive) not been right since,

Hope you're okay Auriel

 

[Auriel]

Yeah I'm ok @fimi (thanks my angel)

 

[Souuhayel]

Thank you everyone for the amazing respond and the nice messages
I feel less lonely and I feel that it is not a debilitating condition if I find a way to manage it. If men report less, then definitely statistically we will think that women have it more.

Misunderstood is also a criteria that makes it worse as people can not understand. Even describing the pain and how it evolves is hard.

I am trying to manage my stress now, going on hikes, walks and rest as much has possible.I still have trouble sleeping properly tho, but I am getting there slowly
I will see how things go tho

Thank you for all the advice and warm messages

 

[cookiebaker]

Thank you for all the advice and warm messages

that is what we are here for.

 

[Auriel]

Ssouuhayel, yeah I just wanted to say I get what your saying regarding the statistics of fibro men fibro women ratio, there are been quite a few men in the past that have joined the forum (some we haven't heard from in a while) and some that pop back in now and again, +

 

[TheSqidd]

I had to take ibuprofen to relieve my pain and sleep.

I was wondering was should I do, it is hard to explain to others about the continuous pain, the inability to sleep, the fatigue...
It is starting to affect my mental state...

I wish Ibuprofen dented my pain.

Continued use of Ibuprofen will destroy your gut biome and then you will have a whole new set of problems. Been there, done that. It took me almost a year of active gut biome repair to get it healthy again.

By far the most helpful things I have found to decrease/ almost eliminate all pain while sleeping are (in order):

-Hydration, hydration, hydration. The key is you need electrolytes in the water or you won't get the deep hydration you need. I started with Nuun Sports tabs. After proving that they worked I have since switched to my own concoction to save money. Before I go to bed I drink 32oz of water with two tabs. At 2am I drink another 32os with two more tabs. If this works for you you can experiment with decreasing the amount of water/electrolytes you take in per night. This was a magic bullet for me. It eliminated 95% of my pain.

-Ice bath. Not as bad as it sounds. It's more like a cold bath. You don't need the water any lower than 55degF. 15min in there right before bed netted me a big pain decrease and also improved my sleep dramatically. Cooling your body temp down even a few deg has been proven over and over again to get you to sleep faster and allow you to sleep better. Of course this is a lot more uncomfortable than drinking water. I only do the ice bath thing after extremely strenuous activity of really bad inflammation flare ups.

-CBD oil. I've tried all sorts of CBD oils and finally found one that is "nuclear"! It works fantastic for fibo body pain. It works better than Oxy's for me. Not only does it help a lot with the pain but it also gets into your body deep enough to relax you and help you sleep better.

Hope this helps.

 

[Badger]

It's a shame men end up with such an irrational perspective of pain and suffering. It can feel like if you can't carry a burden then you become one. Complaining or reaching out to a doctor can be terrifying and feel shameful. It's taken a lifetime to learn 'a real man' will have the courage to state his case regardless.

 

[cookiebaker]

It's taken a lifetime to learn 'a real man' will have the courage to state his case regardless.

it takes much more courage to do so than to try to hide it.

having worked most of my adult life in a male dominated industry, i learned to hide things just like the guys - and had to work twice as hard and twice as long to get even a modicum of respect - even if I was in pain, or did not feel well. It has definitely taken it's toll on me, physically.