Giving up life goals?

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NoSaint

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For those who’ve had successful careers before the onset of fibro, how did you cope when it stops you achieving the same level of success? I’m scared, I’ve worked hard to own sports cars and a nice house but to keep them I have to continue being amongst the best in my field. Every day I’m losing focus, I wake up in more pain, do less. I came to the conclusion I’ll end up on benefits eventually, and I’d rather be dead than lose all I’ve built. My meaning of life is what I achieve, without it I’d be lost… literally every day I’m considering how I’m making the next step to climb the ladder, and then doing it. I fear I’m too high and have a long way to fall.

Is this just me?
 
We all had to adapt Nosaint and fiercely accept the changes that fibro brought/brings (and it’s not an easy task) you still have your achievements (you’ll always have those) what you’ve built even if you lose them you still gained them, one thing we can agree on and guarantee Is that life will 100% bring changes, some of us lost our homes, jobs or had to change them to make things easier or do different ones and even if you need to go on benefits (momentarily or forever) it won’t make you less of a person, to me now, people are the most important thing, animals, my health and the fact I still have my five senses to experience (when I can) the beauty life offers, there are still times I want to cry from the pain and feel disappointed I had to cancel plans from the fatigue but it gets easier, I’ll call @JayCS for you, he put a post up a few months ago about the stages you go through from the changes that come with having fibro, it is a shock to the system but you can adapt (we all did). hope your well and having an ok day (and the rest of the forum too) 🌾 🐣👍🏻
 
We all had to adapt Nosaint and fiercely accept the changes that fibro brought/brings (and it’s not an easy task) you still have your achievements (you’ll always have those) what you’ve built even if you lose them you still gained them, one thing we can agree on and guarantee Is that life will 100% bring changes, some of us lost our homes, jobs or had to change them to make things easier or do different ones and even if you need to go on benefits (momentarily or forever) it won’t make you less of a person, to me now, people are the most important thing, animals, my health and the fact I still have my five senses to experience (when I can) the beauty life offers, there are still times I want to cry from the pain and feel disappointed I had to cancel plans from the fatigue but it gets easier, I’ll call @JayCS for you, he put a post up a few months ago about the stages you go through from the changes that come with having fibro, it is a shock to the system but you can adapt (we all did). hope your well and having an ok day (and the rest of the forum too) 🌾 🐣👍🏻
Really well put @Auriel 💟
 
Don’t think being a high flyer only makes losing your life and dreams any easier then the rest of us..It’s painful where ever you are,
But working as you do maybe your burnt out ?.
Can you take a well earned break?.
If fibromyalgia taught me anything is your life will change ,But that don’t mean you have to sit back and let it swallow you up.
There are many little changes you can learn to make to your day to make it easier on your body .I’m afraid fibromyalgia is a journey and a Sprint.There isn’t quick fixes.
Life’s not over ,You can’t go through life thinking that .If you have worked hard to get what you believe is important in your life ,work hard now and figure out how to make some decisions and changes to make everyday easier on your self x
 
I think your going through the difficult stage we all go through with this illness -facing change. By the sound of it you've done really well to achieve all you have in life, of which you should be immensely proud. But what's important now is you! The key is to find something you can do that makes you happy. Focus on your abilities, not on seeing fibro as a diasbling condition that tries to stop you achieving. I know this is easier said than done, I have only recently been dignosed but have had fibro for many years and dropped in and out of a couple of careers that left me feeling as you are now. The way I got through, was to finding something I could do which allowed me to pace myself and listen to my body, and I can tell you now I'm happier than I've ever been! Your health, family, and the joys of life are the important things, focus on those and you will in time become a much happier person.
 
Have you ever considered that maybe your lifestyle & drive to achieve may have brought on your health issues? Because that is clearly what happened to me. I drove myself so hard that fibro, chronic fatigue & adrenal dysfunction forced me to change my life. And I’m actually thankful. I had to learn the hard what what was really important and believe me/ it wasn’t my job. And I also learned how to finally take care of myself. I wish the same for you.
Please don’t give up, you can do this. We are all here to help you. The sun will shine again. ☀️
 
Hi NoSaint and welcome!

I don't know if my working hard was overdoing it or not. I was fitter than ever before in my life, physically and mentally. But like @Sabina and most of us, FM has definitely taught me self-care and that's my new benchmark of success.

"Life is what happens when we are busy making other plans..." No one knows that better than people who are suddenly hit by illness. You were and sort of still are lucky in that so many of your plans have succeeded, probably luckier than most, and done a lot for it. But even you will have faced challenges and adapted and adjusted to get where you are. I did at least. This is the big one, might become your new challenge, your new success story, if you let it...
If you're finding it hard to just jump down the ladder as if it were a chair and realize it's all just in your head, praps inspiration like Timothy Ferriss' The 4-Hour Workweek can help you subtly change what success actually is for you? - No need to read it all, a summary'd do - it's just about the gist of re-defining what you've been considering as work, taking the pressure out of it, delegating as much as possible - falling up the ladder, and making your life fun again in a different way than before.

The nitty-gritty of it may well be to pace down until you find you have a certain amount of energy again, and then energy-saving ways of still getting some things done. It seems to me you'd know how to guard yourself from losing your assets and saving your energy for the important things will help tone your lifestyle if that's necessary, to prevent "benefits" from being more than a vague apparition in the distance. The quicker we come to our senses, the more likely we can adapt & adjust. A kid I saw yesterday had a Stephen Hawking quotation on it in the "dialect" of "Leet", saying "1n73ll1g3nc3 15 7H3 4B1L17Y 70 4D4p7 70 CH4NG3" - for those with fibro fog or blurred eyes etc. that reads: "Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change". The fog and blurring can challenge our intelligence, but there's loads of workaround in store.

Maybe considering grieving and acceptance - to be able to start thru under a new premise - isn't where you're at yet. But ▶️this is the thread about (stages of) grieving to be able to self-motivate again that @Auriel's referring to...
 
And be really honest with yourself about everything (I forgot to add that earlier, feelings, pain,fatigue, all of it) if you can’t be honest with yourself you can’t be honest with the people around you (and work wise too) it’s the only way to get though things 🌟⭐💫
 
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NoSaint, I'm so sorry for your pain and the fibro symptoms that you suffer from, but.. hmm.. that phrase "I've worked hard to own sports cars and a nice house" stuck in my mind since I read it. For a moment I thought you were trolling. Please don't misunderstand me, I get what you say. Having a successful career is a great thing, which can be accomplished with hard work. But it's not real life, I think. Fibro is a slap in the face, but it can help you be a little less materialistic human being, and a more spiritual one. Pain (physical and /or emotional) can do that. Sports cars, no. Besides, if you have a successful career, that means a) you have brains b) you are a real fighter. You never lose those two. You'll find a way to have a job you really like and also achieve more meaningful things in life, even in those extremely difficult and painful fibro-conditions.
All the replies here are helpful, I believe - especially Sabina's. I hope mine won't upset you, I meant well. Finally, this forum is full of practical advice written by wonderful people, who are fibro sufferers like you. Read them and please don't lose your courage, you can do it!
 
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