Acceptance

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MichelleLR

New member
Joined
Dec 10, 2015
Messages
5
Reason
Undiagnosed
Diagnosis
12/2015
Country
CA
State
BC
I'm having a really hard time accepting this disease. How do I some how accept it, stop feeling sorry for myself, not focus on pain.... And let it get me down?
 
Hi Michelle. I can honestly say that you can only take it day by day. It takes time. I know that sounds cliché but its true. Having a supportive spouse also helps. I've been coping with this for at least 4 years (maybe more). Remember it's not your fault.
Gentle hugs to you
Patti
 
Acceptance is really difficult in our culture, which gives kudos to people who ignore their bodily needs. We are all taught that people who go on an extreme diet, pull an all-nighter, work 80 hours a week or more etc deserve extra respect and status. It is really hard to let go of some of those ideas, but with a condition like fibromyalgia you have to.

What helps me to focus on what I can do, no matter how small it is. I keep telling myself slow and steady wins the race.

If that doesn't work I write down three good things and carry them in my pocket. I read them when I feel overwhelmed.

Many of us have benefited from counciling. Cognitive behavioral therapy teaches you to recognize and inerrupt detrimental patterns of thinking.
 
Time that's what's u need time. Your grieving for your old life atm and it,will take time to accept the new u. It's,like someone came in one night and did a make over in your body u didn't like or want.and now they won't go away.
Upper posts have some great ideas to help u cope x
 
hi michelle,

i continue to struggle with acceptance and i imagine it will take longer than i'll ever be comfortable with. i found a book very helpful and insightful, How To Be Sick by toni bernhard. loved it so much i downloaded it on audible so that i could listen to it in my car or on command from my phone.
 
Hi Dancingwithfibro... i just looked up the book. Tell us a bit more about it...it sounds interesting. Is it a personal story of her journey with CFS?
 
hi willow,

yes ofcourse.. it is about her personal journey confronting a sudden chronic illness that left her leaving the job she loved as a professor and facing the daily struggles of living with chronic pain and fatigue with her caretaker, her husband. it is a very intimate and delicate look into what she went through and continue to that i think we all can relate to and how to move humbly forward living with a deblitating illness.

it says that it is a buddhist inspired book.. i'm not a buddhist and i don't plan to be, so i was hesitant that it was going to be too much about his teachings and not enough about the real, sometimes ugly challenges we face and it wasn't at all about buddhism. it is only buddhist inspired and the author shares some of its teachings and mantras that helped her find peace and calm through the storm, some will help you and some won't. i wrote down some of the mantras that resonated with me.

hope this helps. i think you can also listen to a sample on audible if interested. i am now listening to her second book, How To Live Well. so far i'm loving this one too!
 
thanks Dancingwithfibro...i am going to get the book. I think i am at a stage where acceptance of my new reality is the only option. I am miserable with pain and lack of achievement ....anything that helps me stop being scared and angry inside at how this illness has changed me has got to be a plus.

I did the long road to acceptance back in 2007/2008 when i first got fibro never imagining it would get even worse later in life...so after praying hoping, fighting to get it back to the level it was i am exhausted...so maybe this lady can inspire me to feel that even laying in bed or sitting in a chair i still have some value.

Thanks for posting x
 
i'm sorry willow i just realized i never responded back to your post. OFCOURSE YOU HAVE VALUE!!!!! but i know what you mean, it's hard to find value for what we do or don't do all day when we used to do so much more..having a full time job or being a ft mom or pursuing all the things we are passionate about whatever they may be. and doing them well with so much heart and energy. it is tough.

were you able to start reading the book? so curious what you thing of it. =)

gentle warm hugs to you!
 
I bet that acceptance is not easy. You are living in denial. I would advise you to allow yourself to grieve because not doing so will just leave a festering emotional wound. It would also be extremely important to share your story with a listening ear especially those who are undergoing similar challenges. Depression is a predisposing factor for FM. Dissociate yourself emotionally and take charge of your life. Assume you are a captain navigating a ship in the rough waters of FM.
 
It's hard to see how life change totally. I agree with remnant though, we need to share our story, not close in ourselves, but open up and try to realize what we can do to improve our condition, what we can do to take charge of our life.
 
Practice gratefulness. I know it sounds odd I say this, but this is the way I accepted this and many other things life has thrown at me over the years. Because yes, even though we deal with chronic pain we still have so much to be grateful for, once you find those things you are grateful for in your life you will we well on your way to acceptance and happiness. Try keeping a diary or whatever and write 3 things you are grateful for everyday, can be small things like the smile of a child or whatever you can think of. It helps loads... that way you start to program yourself to think more positively.
 
We didn't really quite accept it. We fought it. I guess you could call it "bargaining" but it wasn't futile. It seemed futile at times, but eventually, it did work, to some extent. Day in and day out, we searched for new things to try. And, over time, some of those things worked a little bit, and it was sort of like building a pyramid. Every building block took us closer to the sky. A lot of little bits turned out, after a few years, to be a lot of improvement, little bit by little bit. It really seemed like we were totally helpless and without options at one point when the ER threw my child out at 2 a.m. saying "we don't treat pain" and there I was, with a severely ill child who had five times the muscle tension of a normal child and literally was frozen stiff, and no doctor had any help for her, and she was looking at me saying "Do Something!". But, I just looked around at what was in my house, and started googling, and found accupuncture, massage, IR heat, supplements, and we started have some things that helped a little bit, and things didn't seem quite so bad after that. I think, that's when we felt more at peace with the situation, if you can call that acceptance.
 
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