according to my best friend im a hypochondriac

[krismiccs]

Nice huh.

He says fibro is bs and all in my head.
I was so hurt & offended!

Anyone else ever had a reaction like that? This conversation just happened today & I am devastated.

 

[Trellum]

Woah, your friend has no idea of how insensitive she/he was by saying that! That was really hurtful, and you've all the right to feel offended. Actually my boyfriend thinks I'm just being dramatic and there is nothing wrong with me... I got so upset the other day when he insinuated I was just exaggerating alll my symptoms... right, like I really like to be worried all the time! Wondering about what the future will bring! It's so frustrating! So I understand how you're feeling! They'll never get it... sadly. Unless it happens to them.

 

[krismiccs]

Thank you!

I told him he was being really hurtful, he said it would hurt me more if he enabled me and that I was in denial.
Yeah cause I'm happy to be tired & in pain all the time.
Unfortunately I think this will mean the end of our friendship which is devastating. One more thing fibro has taken from me.
Thank you though, its nice to know I'm not alone.

 

[1sweed]

krismiccs,
Welcome to the forum. I feel your pain. It is so hurtful when someone you love puts you down in such a insulting way. I have had friends and even my husband make me feel bad because of having an illness that has no cure and no outward signs that they could see. It made life hard for me because I had to try and hide the pain I was in just to make our relationships work. In the end it did not matter, I had wasted energy on something that was not going to work.

Maybe if you spend time away from this person they will feel the loss of the friendship and you, and someday see what is really important in your relationship. In the mean time we understand and will try and support you in this time of sadness and loneliness. I wish I could do more to help you. Be brave and I hope you have the support of your family during this difficult time.

Keep posting any questions and give your opinions on any other members posts. Look forward to seeing more of you around the forum.

 

[bboebel1555]

It hurts to find out that someone you thought had your back in fact doesn't. My husband and I dealt with these types of issues. I haven't really told many of my "friends" for fear of that reaction. I have only told family and everyone I have told has been supportive and sympathetic. There are understanding people out there.

 

[Trfielder]

I will have to admit when I first heard of fibro 16/17 years àgo I thought is was bs.. A lady I new was diagnosed but she seemed fine. She could go shopping all the time for hours and hours go out drinking and partying til the wee hours of the night but she couldn't work and couldn't look after her kids..it made me very skeptical ( with her it still does) but then I saw my cousins wife go through it. Still not sure but then I saw her on a real bad day...wow changed my mind..then a few years later I started going through my own crap. She kept telling me I had fibro. No no I have crps. Just an arm with pain...she was right she knew after going through it. I know we shouldn't wish this on anyone but some times I would like people to go through half of what we do just for a week then tell me I'm full of bs...get your " friend " some info give them the chance to learn about it ( I did this with my 20 yr old son). If they still don't get it MOVE ON..you don't need or deserve that..it will only bring you more pain... I will be your new friend if that is what you need there are a lot of us here that will fill the roll ! Honest to goodness people are not smart..
You know itis real don't doubt yourself or how you feel!

 

[krismiccs]

Wow thank you everyone
It is so nice to meet people who get it!

I've told my friend that he doesn't have to support my diagnosis he does have to support ME and that I deserved to be treated much better than that.
We will see what the end result is, but the apology better be epic lol.

Thank you for your support and kind words all

 

[katydid]

Unfortunately things like this can show you who your true friends do are.... We have all been through this at one point or another. Either they don't believe, or they don't want to deal with complaints, or they slowly stop asking you to do things because you can't keep up.. If it's not one thing it's another. The true friends don't care if you complain once in a while, they don't mind not going out hiking but instead staying in and being comfortable and watching a movie, they don't judge and will listen and try to understand and just be there. I've lost many friends through this process and a boyfriend lol I figure if these people can't handle me at my worst they don't deserve my best. Just make sure the true friends you do have know you truly appreciate them. And everything they do even if it's simply telling you a great joke just to make you smile for a minute when you're having a rough day. And dont forget to be a true awesome friend to them, and to yourself! Smile because it's contagious

 

[Shelly]

I can relate to this as well. My mom still does not get it. She says "I don;t get how you can be fine one day and not the next". She says things like don't think about it. Just get up and do things. Says things that cause me stress(which is not good, if you have fibro) and my husband is getting really mad at her for some of the hurtful things she has said and done. Most of my friends are willing to listen when I complain but no one really gets it I don't think. Sometime I feel like everyone thinks I making it up, but like the other person posted......do they think I like being in pain all day, not being able to sleep, going from doctor to doctor and trying pain med after pain med. I had a great job and had to quite cause I couldn't do it anymore. Do people think we like being like this. BELIEVE ME I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE 1 DAY WHEN I AM PAIN FREE! I forgot what being pain free even feels like. When people complain about the odd headache or stomach ache they have for a day or two, I feel like saying try feeling like that everyday.

My husband was sick last year with the flu, achey all over and nauseated, headache etc. and he was whining like crazy and saying he felt like he was dying. Then when he got better he said to me "Is that how you feel everyday" and I said "YES". Now he gets it and he is so supportive and takes me wherever I need to go. I have had bouts where I contemplated suicide cause the pain gets so bad, but thanks to his understanding and the care of my family doctor this did come to pass. I still have thoughts of it sometimes, but thank goodness both of my daughters are engaged so we have two weddings coming up so I have something to look forward too, otherwise sometimes I feel like I might have done it. I would hate to not be able to see them both get married so for now that is what gives me the strength to carry on and deal with my pain.

Sorry if I went off topic abit and vented, sometimes I just have to say what is on my mind.

So back to the original post, we are not hypocondriacs we are people with multiple health issues that others do not understand and most people are so tangled up in their own little world that they do not see or care to understand what we are going through.

I am thankful for this board where I can vent and cry and even if no one replies I know at least someone is reading it and understands how I feel.

Sending good thoughts to all of you and praying for better days ahead for all of us.

 

[MizzDeeDee]

This has also happened to me. I had a Pharmacist that I worked with tell me his Doctor friend said fibro wasn't real. I told my doctor and she told me to ask him if he thought that the FDA was in the business of approving medications for fake illnesses. After that, he didn't say much of anything about it.

I've even had a sibling tell me my autoimmune disease I have on top of fibro wasn't that bad. That's the thing, people fear what they can't understand. It's hard for people to look at someone that looks okay, but isn't. It's very insulting, but just realize what he is- someone who is ignorant and can't understand.

This is a great forum for support and advice. Everyone is really nice, and they understand. I hope you can use us as a sounding board when you need someone to even just listen.

 

[Trellum]

Thank you!

I told him he was being really hurtful, he said it would hurt me more if he enabled me and that I was in denial.
Yeah cause I'm happy to be tired & in pain all the time.
Unfortunately I think this will mean the end of our friendship which is devastating. One more thing fibro has taken from me.
Thank you though, its nice to know I'm not alone.

Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear that! It's so unfair something like Fibro can end your friendship just like that. I know you feel hurt, and your friend isn't being supportive (my boyfriend isn't either and I know how much it hurts you!), but have you thought of just taking some time away from this friend to think? You don't need to tell him... just avoid having contact for a few days. I just did this with my boyfriend... my mind isn't very clear right now.

 

[trayne91]

Go straight to the communities Washington Times and print the articles that have been posted there in October and November on fibromyalgia. There has been many significant studies concluded with physical results that Fibro is real with documented evidence in the glands, brain, nerves, hands, etc. I'd share the links, but I read we can't share links? Am I wrong. Explains how our brains are processing pain differently from non-fibro people, why our hands and feet are cold, how are nerves, spinal cord, and brain are not working properly when it comes to neurotransmitters and pain processing, etc., etc., etc. Hard evidence. I'm also sorry to hear this about your friend. A friend should never say that to another. Maybe you can change their mind with this evidence. I thought it would be helpful to you. There was even a new report released today. Just Google "communities Washington Times fibromyalgia" each article has links to related articles so you will find them all linking one by one as you read them. You can't deny medical evidence. From the very last sentence of the first article I read "According to this research, fibromyalgia has pathology and is not psychosomatic so those who suffer from this ‘syndrome’ can now rest assured it is not all in their minds." Granted there are several different studies and theories, but it means they are getting close to understanding it and it is documented and real, which we all know already.

 

[bevtay678]

I am so glad I joined this forum I have just been diagnosed with fibro and did not know anything about this condition I worked 11hours a day seven days a week for almost 6yrs but the last year I found I was struggling with my job as it was a very heavy physical job and I was in constant pain my hands were swelling my arms shoulders knees ankles everywhere seemed to be hurting I was irritable all the time and so tired I went to the docs he gave me medication that was doing nothing and costing me money I got to the stage were I felt suicidle I went back and he told me to cut my hours down or look for a lighter job so I continued going to work until I got that bad my HB said to go back to docs I also gave up my job as I just could not continue with it my doctor realised how bad I was feeling and sent me to see a specialist and she said I have osteoarthiritis and also she thinks I have fibro but she said not a lot is known about this condition she prescribed me tramadol and amitriptyline to help me sleep so far they are not working on me but I feel alone in this as you can not explain to people just how you feel they just say take some painkillers and pull yourself together it is so depressing for me as I loved my job and now I cannot do it anymore and I need to work I feel useless at home and the pain is driving me crazy and now I am worried and feel guilty for stopping working as that's put more pressure on my HB to pay for everything and I like my own money so everything seems to have hit me at once but no one seems to understand how it is affecting me sorry I got a bit carried away here and now my hand is hurting writing so much :x but it has helped to get it off my chest thanks for listening

 

[trayne91]

Sorry to hear about you going through such a rough time. I know exactly how you feel. I just said the other day that I don't know who I am anymore. I feel bad that I can't work well or concentrate and I forget to even call people back. I had to ask my husband to fold the clothes, take car e of the dishes, and sweep the floor - which never gets mopped anymore, because just bending into the dryer and washer flares me up like no tomorrow. I keep thinking that maybe when I get the pain under control I'll be able to do more, but this trial and error finding something that works takes the longest, I am assuming, and feels like the roughest, I am assuming. It's get my weepy and desperate and miserable. I often ask myself, what in the world happened for this to just come on like this and make me feel this way and why me? I can only pray that I find something that makes me comfortable soon while keeping a clear head about me so I can at least pretend to carry on. I have to explain to my husband that my whole body feels like when he got out of surgery and had a sore spot at the incision point along with your worst muscle cramp even all over your body. And, even when I am moving around, I am still in pain. I am just faking it. And, I don't cry half the time just to be strong as I also don't want to upset him because he gets upset when he sees me upset. So, I cry alone in the bath tub. My son tells me I don't sound good and asks me when I'll be better (he's 18 by the way) and I told him I don't know if I'll ever be better and he doesn't really understand that there may be no cure for me to not be in any pain ever. He also doesn't like "pills" so he's not fond of me having to take a pill for the rest of my life just to move around. I'm not either. Half the reason I am trying supplements right now. I know that no matter how hard I try to explain how bad I feel, that they just don't get it. If they did, I wouldn't be lifting a finger around here at all. I don't like feeling incapable of doing anything, either. It frustrates me. And it's only the beginning... All I can do is hope I find something that suits me soon and listen to body and quit when I have to. I have a tendency to do what I want anyway and then pay for it later (like looking at dirt on floor so long I HAVE to get up and sweep it). Sometimes I push too hard. Anyway, I know this sucks for all of us. I hope we all find the relief we need soon.

 

[sassy13]

I'm sorry to hear about your friend. Fibromyalgia robs us of so much. It is heartbreaking to find out someone you love and trust does not believe you. My favorite aunt told my mother I am faking it. Wow, I must be an incredible actress! Why would anyone fake this? Also, have your friend explain why so many people suffer from the same symptoms. Every disease has common signs and symptoms. With cancer, a biopsy co firms the diagnosis. It is only a matter of time before there is a diagnostic test that confirms fibromyalgia. Research is close and similarities have been found, but there is not a definative test.
I just joined the forum myself. I just needed someone to understand how I feel and what I am going through. I am blessed to have full support from those closest to me. They saw me as a fully functional person at one time and saw me spiral to what I am today.
I hope your friend comes to his senses and realizes how hurtful he has been.