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Windy miller

New member
Joined
Nov 5, 2014
Messages
1
Reason
Relative
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
Uk
State
Liverpool
hello all, this is my first post and I don't know if I will receive a warm welcome!
My wife has fibromyalgia and I am looking for some advice and support. As I don't have the illness myself I don't know if you will be able to help me but I thought that I would see if I was alone.
I find it difficult to talk to anyone about this but my wife was diagagnosed some time ago and I don't think she realises how difficult it is to live with this condition from "the other side" I love her dearly but I get very frustrated and sometimes I find it hard to cope with. I'm sure she thinks that I don't believe that there is such a condition. She still goes to work full time and I admire her for this as I know that she finds this difficult. Our daily conversation starts with 'oh the pain, then it's can you get me my tablets" when I speak to her on the phone it is I've had a bad day, when she gets home it's oh I'm sore and I need some tablets, and the last thing she says at night is oh I'm sore. I don't mean to be heartless but it is hard to live with. I do the magority of the house work and although I'm not a very good cook I prepare most of our meals. I work full time as well and neither she or I class me as her carer. This may not be the place to discuss this but we have not had any form of a "physical relationship" for over 3 years now as I am frightened to touch her in case I hurt her. But I was just wondering if anyone else was in a similar position.
 

1sweed

Moderator
Joined
Feb 4, 2013
Messages
1,956
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
01/1995
Country
US
State
PA
Windy,
Hello and welcome to the forum. Since I am not in a relationship at this time it might be hard for me to give you the advice your looking for, but when I was married my husband was not supportive and did not believe me or that the condition was real. And this was part of the reason that we broke up. I think your wonderful to be helping around the house and supporting your wife. If you read through the forum you will discover many posts about problems and ways to be close when pain is at hand. It is hard to work full time with any job and then feel able to be close without fatigue setting in and pain taking over.

I hope others on the forum can advise you concerning this subject. Feel free to ask more questions and answer other members questions if you think your response would be helpful or encouraging. I wish you the best of luck and am very glad you found us. We try to be very supportive and offer coping skills and good advise. See you around the forum. :)
 

TwinsMomma

New member
Joined
Nov 5, 2014
Messages
8
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
12/2011
Country
US
State
Az
One thing I might suggest is counseling, I know it sounds a bit trite, but learning how to communicate was essential for my husband and my relationship. One thing I try really hard not to do is tell him all of my aches and pains every day. He knows I hurt. Maybe put her pills next to her bed with a bottle of water. Then you aren't the one getting them for her always. Make sure you take some time for yourself to do fun things. Offer her this website, she'd probably find it helpful! It's great that you are supportive and help around the hous, making dinner, etc. my husband has had to take on all this jobs as well and it is not easy. Mid it's in your finances, find someone to help you cook and clean.
 

lhaney

Active member
Joined
Aug 7, 2014
Messages
36
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
06/2011
Country
US
State
il
Hello and welcome to the forum. I think it is great that you are trying to gather information to help you and your wife. I know my husband gets frustrated with me at times because of my limitations. We both work very demanding jobs in the same field so he does know how that is. But I have learned over the years not to verbilize every time I am in pain ,he knows from my actions. He also helps me with house work and I am greatful. I think you should set out your dices meds and water by where she will be so she can get the herself but know you also care. You and your wife can find a lot of information here.

Lisa
 
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