Car Accidents?

[Cynder]

Has anyone had car accidents that may have spurred the Fibromyalgia?

I've been in a few, and I've read they can trigger Fibro... my first was in the mid 90s, my first rollover, in the snow. I was driving, I was young and dumb and going too fast in the snow on the freeway.

My second rollover I was not driving, but I also was not smart enough to refuse to go on the trip, as it was, again, snowing and the driver was going too fast. That second one was back in Feb 2001 and scared the crap out of me, I couldn't drive on the freeway for about 3 years after. I'm better now, but I still can't drive on the freeway in any kind of snow, and even rain scares me. Which sucks, because I drive a lot for my dog sports. But, I'm super careful, and if the speed limit is 45, I go 40, even on the freeway! And if it's iffy at all, I just won't go. Not worth my life.

In 2004 my husband and I were coming home from a camping trip and hit a whole freakin' herd of deer. Darn things decided to walk onto the road in front of us. We probably clipped 4 or 5 of them. I hate that, I love deer. My husband was driving, and he was good, didn't swerve too much, but it freaked me out and damaged the car quite a bit. We were pulling a trailer too which made me more nervous.

In 2008 I was driving to work and a lady ran a red light and I t-boned her. If she'd been a second later, she'd have smashed into my driver side and probably injured me quite a bit.

Soo. Yes, car accidents, and I can only wonder if they have helped my FMS along and grow. I'm really hoping I've had my allotment and I'm done with them now for the rest of my life!:-D

 

[1sweed]

Gosh, maybe it takes just being scared too many times. When I was with my first husband he was always driving to fast and in a case of road rage he chased a woman up over a causeway, in Florida, and was right on the bumper of her car. If she would have had to stop I would not be here to tell the story. I was terrified we were going to have a accident.

Another time he was drunk and we were in a jeep coming home from work. The wheels hit a stream of water going accross the road and lost traction with the road. we were going about 60, when we hit the snowbank.

The jeep rolled over twice or more, before resting upside down in the snow. The only thing that saved us was the prayer I said, before the wreck and wearing seatbelts, the windshield frame and canvas top frame. When we got out from under the jeep, people running up to us said thank goodness you had a rollbar. I said we don't.

Of course it ias not only accidents that scare us it can also be the people around us that do things to scare us or try to kill us. I think it shocks our system and we don't always recover as well as we should, and maybe that causes fibro.

 

[Yatte]

This really is an interesting topic. As before I have my own opinion regarding this subject.

I have a theory that fibro have a bigger psychological link than we think, otherwise emotions would not affect us this badly. Fear, trauma and angst affects us the most.

My theory is based on my own personal perceptions. This is why. My husband really is a good man and I love him to bits, but he tends to a bit of a control freak. The moment he feels out of control he loses it a bit. he gets the most terrible temper outbursts we he will rant on and on and on, he will kick things around or bash the tool shed with his fists. he has never hurt anybody or taken it out on me or the kids, it is usually some household object that has to bear his wrath. When he acts like this it frightens me to the verge of a panic attack. When I hit panic attack level everything goes bottoms up, my IBS flares like mad and I struggle with sleeplessness for weeks.

I have since learned to deal with his issues. I just turn into the 3 monkeys, see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. I basically just shut myself down emotionally. This effectively lessens the effects on my emotions and my IBS as a result. I have seen the same results with my sister, the moment she has a shock her fibro worsens. Learning how to shut down took a lot of time to learn but in the end it is worth it.

My mother has often accused me of being emotionally dead, but she are one of those that do a lot of damage without seeing it, or by blaming someone else. She was the cause of my first full blown IBS flare. I was 33 weeks pregnant with my first child, and we decided we are not going to name her after my mother. She took this completely wrong, and started name calling etc. By the end of the affair she threatened me with suicide. That was when the S**T literally hit the fan. I was in hospital for almost a month, and even needed blood transfusions.

I would rather be called emotionally dead, than be physically be affected by other peoples actions.

Some situations are impossible to control or filter out and it is for those I have my psychologist. Her PTSD treatment helps a lot and it reduces the occurrence of flares.

 

[Cynder]

sweed, how scary! Cars are just so dangerous, I'm glad you were okay. Seat belts have saved my life each time, too. I won't even get into a car without one, and my dogs need to be secured too, in crates is what I prefer.

Yatte, I agree with you, I think extreme emotional trauma can effect us greatly. And, I'd don't like being so affected by other people's emotions, either. I was a big codependent years ago, and after therapy and much work, I'm a lot better, but I still take other people's emotions way too internally. I wish I didn't so much.

 

[1sweed]

Yatte,

I know what your doing because that is how I dealt with an abusive husband who made me submit through mental abuse. I think women are more likely to use this way of dealing with mental abuse because we use tender emotions throughout our whole lives more so then men.

I spent years in counseling dealing with the name of this way of removing emotion so that I did not hurt so badly. It is called "dissociation," and it protects you by removing yourself from dealing with something that scares you. You pretend it's not happening.

In some ways it is good. It is like a protective shield, guarding and preventing you from going off the deep end. But it is also bad your mental health. It makes you emotionally dead. And it can be the cause of bodily pain, because you are bottling up all those emotions that scare you and after a while they need a release. That release could be fibro.

First off before you get scared, dissociation is often mentioned along with the MPD, (Multiple personality disorder). But there are degrees of dissociation, and most likely you are like me, just in the first stage. We hide our emotions to protect ourselves from people who do frightening things in our relationships and in our homes.

The best thing you can do is find a counseler or therapist, that you like and trust to help you deal with the things that scare you into panic attacks. I had a treatment that helped me a lot. I need to look it up and share it with you.

Two books that I would recommand you read are:

Growing Yourself Back Up, by John Lee
(Understanding Emotional Regression)
http://www.amazon.com/Growing-Yourself-Back-John-Lee/dp/0609806416

The Family Inside, Working with a multiple, by Doris Bryant, Judy Kessler and Linda Shirar
( This book has a big front section on the topic of dissociation, and how to work on your problems without doing it. It is my favorite because it talks in plain language.)
http://www.amazon.com/Family-Inside-Working-Multiple/dp/0393701425/

Both can be found in the used book area at amazon. Check local used book stores as well. But therapy is a really good idea. Most countries have programs providing help if you can not afford it.

Keep in touch okay.

 

[1sweed]

I received treatment for this condition and it is called EMDR or Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing. This treatment helps you to revisit things in your life that caused you heartache or fear, and pain, and you work your way though it step my step. Kind of like reprogramming your emotions so that if that trigger happens again, your not in a panic mode anymore. You can see your way clear of the problem and your not haunted by it anymore. It is an amazing therapy.

You have to find someone who is trained to do it and is licensed for this type of therapy.

 

[Yatte]

1sweed, thank you for sharing, you hit it right on the ball. It is exactly this reason why I use the hypnotherapy. I also started to write all my emotions in a diary, it is a much better way of letting it out than cropping it up inside. I am very selective as to what I dissociate and what not.

My husband for instance, he has his temper problem, and Id rather ignore it than confront him, this makes it easier for me to manage, and he knows I do it this way. He does not physically abuse me, his tantrums just scares me. And even through all this he is still my rock, and supports me like no other can. He gets up for the kids if I am asleep, he bathes them and put them to bed. He even takes them to school when things are really bad. He never complains about my condition and he never not even once accused me of having all this in my head. I decided to focus on the good and not the bad, and that helps me a lot.

My mother I did confront, and she did not speak to me for weeks afterwards, in the end our relationship turned toward the better, but I tend to limit my conversations with her a bit, as she tends to get a little emotionally over bearing.

 

[1sweed]

Yatte,
I am so glad that you understand about the condition and are doing something about it. I never realized that hiding emotions could cause phyiscal pain in so many ways. It is a poorly understood condition that most therapists don't even talk about or consider unless you say you have no childhood memories. Then they think of MPD, instead of just dissociation.

I had therapy many times and yet it was not found until I found a therapist trained in this type of treatment, that I got better. Now I am not as sensitive to other people's rude nasty comments and can handle emotional pain much better. I am really glad you are getting some treatment for it because it will go a long way toward improving your life.

 

[Donna10112]

Hi Cynder. I can only imagine how you are feeling with your new diagnosis. You will need some time to adjust to it, gain the ability to discern your main areas of concern, and notice your unique reactions (physical and emotional) to the world around you. I have had FMS at least since 1980. I believe mine started with car accidents also, but my accidents were not even close to the trauma you have suffered. My first was in 1975. I was home on Christmas break, my mom was driving and I was in the passenger seat. A semi-trailer started to pull out onto the road right in front of us. There was very little time to break when we hit him in the tires just behind the driver's cab. Had he pulled out any further we might have gone under the trailer. I hit my head on the windshield, of course it wasn't common practice to wear seat belts back then. I'm sure I had a concussion and the police offered to take us to ER, but I thought I was fine. But looking back, I had no way of knowing as some concussions don't show symptoms until later. The next car accident was the one that did me in. I had just graduated from nursing school the year before and was driving home when a car rear-ended me at a stop sign. The guy driving seemed distraught, he said he had just come from the court house and his divorce was final. Since he didn't even dent my bumper, I let it go. Several weeks later, I began to have symptoms. Even my fibro is not as painful as what I went through that year. All I remember is sheer agony. No one believed me. I was so alone. But time passed and I was beginning to mend and just get back to a normal life when it happened again. I had a friend drive me to a doctor's appointment and she wasn't paying attention to the car in front of us. She knew she was too close and slammed on the brakes. I hit my head on the windshield again! After that the fibro began. They called it fibrositis back then and they didn't know much about it. I think the physical injuries as well as the emotional effects can bring it on. At least that's the way it happened to me. Good luck to you. Best advice I can give you is to stay in touch with people. Find a couple of caring friends and always stay in contact. Human support is the most important thing to surviving this. God bless. Donna