Confused and blindsided husband

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Bruin11

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Joined
Jan 31, 2019
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4
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Relative
Diagnosis
00/0000
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US
State
South Carolina
I have posted before and would like to see what advise you would provide me.
I have a full time job and we have been married for 36 years. I have been her care giver and happy to do so for the last 5 years. She is on many meds for Fibro pain and bipolar.
Recently, she and I discussed our future plans and she shocked me with: "I need to be alone and heal from all of the guilt I have." "I am going to my parents (whom are aging) til I feel better(6 months)." She informed her friend that she was separating from me and would she would take it day to day. They live 14 hours away)
She has always been connected to her family and we have moved there twice. I am close to her parents as well. I struggle with the finality of this decision and we never really spoke about an extended separation as she did with her friend. She mentioned I deserve better and the support I give her makes her feel worse. She struggles with communication at times but never saw this one coming! I am, I guess the root of these feeling she has. When I inquired about all of this she told me her parents are the most important thing right now, you can take care of yourself. In the past 3 years she has spent at least on month on 3 separate occasions with her parents.
How do we work on us if she is not here!
 

1sweed

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Joined
Feb 4, 2013
Messages
1,956
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
01/1995
Country
US
State
Pennsylvania
I would say maybe if you just give her a bit of time she will change her mind. It is great that you have a good relationship with her parents and that will help in the long run and maybe they will be able to find out where her head is at and point her in the right direction. I think we all go through periods of depression where we feel guilty for the burdens we place on our loved ones and feel empty because of the things we want to do and are unable to do and it makes us want to run away.

This is just my thoughts, but at least in her running she went to her parent's house where she will be safe and you know where she is and you can visit her. My heart goes out to you and I pray things will work out in your favor and she will come home to you. Try to stay strong and have courage and try to be loving and kind, not angry. Please feel free to share with us and know you are welcome here.
 
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