Decreasing the madness

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IsThisForReal

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DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
07/2016
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I am new, so please bear w/ me.

I am desperate to find ways to decrease the madness and have a question about cause/effect.

I live a very stressful existence.

I have lived a life that always required me to bounce back from something major and deep down, I knew that I would eventually become ill, no matter how resilient I had become.

I half expected that it would cause a mental breakdown or multiple personality disorder (used to crack off about how I'd managed to survive x, y or z without becoming mentally ill), but never imagined a time where my body would just shut down.

I have read about the potential causes of FM & don't think that there are any ways to reverse those effects, but wondered if this is the type of illness that progresses to a more severe state w/ persistent stress. I understand it can instigate/accelerate illness, but does stress continue to damage the body (nerves) and wreak more havoc over time?

Problem is, short of leaving my husband and kids behind and starting anew, there are just some things that I cannot change about the stressors in my life.

I realize that I am in control of how I respond to those things and there are things that most able bodied people can do to help manage them, but that is likely the reason I found myself in this position to begin with because that often meant I had to do the job of 10 men to minimize the madness with them (each have their own issues/disabilities).

I can't imagine it getting any worse than this and have to figure out where to go from here. It is near impossible to function. :(
 

diamond

Legendary member
Joined
Sep 18, 2015
Messages
1,548
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DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
01/2008
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UK
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anywhere
I am so sorry for your situation and can truly identify with your emotions.

Without going into details of my own personal emotional response to life events I honestly can say I can feel the link between being stuck in the fight or flight response and an increase in Fibro symptoms.

Everyone is different but most of us say stress is a trigger for flares...being stuck in a highly stressful situation can in my view be both a trigger for onset and ever increasing symptoms and severity.

Perhaps you are already in a breakdown and don't realize the severity of your overload.

Fibro is neurological and I am not a medical expert but then few doctors truly understand the cause either, so whether more nerves get damaged is probably not something you will get a factual based answer to......so much more research is needed.

For sure go and ask for more help if there is any possibility of it....support to alleviate family pressures...to give yourself some rest time.

I really hope this is possible as you soooo need to care for yourself to manage this horrible condition.

Take Care x
 

IsThisForReal

Member
Joined
Jul 6, 2016
Messages
27
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
07/2016
Country
CA
State
ON
I have a friend who was the Chief Environmental Health Officer in another country for many years. They are very concerned about my health and are constantly on me to reduce my stress levels, as "it's a known fact that stress accelerates illness".

It would be great to know whether or not it's a case of "once the damage is done, it's done" or if we should fear continuous damage over time w/ the stress. :(

However, as you know, I am not really ready to disclose to friends/fam etc. Perhaps a conversation w/ him would be a good first step.

If by flare you mean unable to function on any level, it seems I am in crisis mode and definitely reached my limit. The stress is ever-present and not going anywhere any time soon which is frightening. This dx is a huge wake up call (albeit, maybe too late to change any of that).

I used to think I was the most resilient w/ super-coping powers. Little did I know... :/

Thanks a million for responding to my posts. It's been an incredibly isolating time. I may not be as quick to respond, as I am having troubles w/ the forum not showing me the responses and have to wait until they come by email.
 

Sarafina

Active member
Joined
Jun 28, 2016
Messages
90
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
06/2016
Country
US
State
NY
IsThis - Press Ctrl and R at the same time to refresh your page and you can see your posts. Also, you can to go "New Posts"
 

IsThisForReal

Member
Joined
Jul 6, 2016
Messages
27
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
07/2016
Country
CA
State
ON
Thanks Sarafina - surprisingly, it worked (when nothing else did). Cheers!
 

Eyesup

Senior member
Joined
Dec 11, 2015
Messages
376
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
12/2015
Country
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State
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Isthusforreal, Just like you I have lived a life of constant "bouncing back". Starting at age 8 when my mother passed away. Pre fibro I always operated better under stress...I was the glue in my adult family. i could always find a way to "fix" things. But in time to many situations came along that I couldn't fix. To many times of getting backed into a corner and no way out.
Fight or flight is very real. It is human nature. It is and always has been crucial for survival. But when you can't fight and you can't run your stuck in one spot with the adrenaline building to abnormal levels until it breaks the dam per say. I do not think we are in control of this response.
Like you at one time the only way I thought I could get away from my biggest stresses was to leave my family behind. But that in itself would cause me stress. Plus, I seam to be a magnet to stress so that wouldn't work! Lol
One thing I can tell you, even though your children will always be your children they won't always be your responsibility. I had to keep looking ahead and reminding myself that one day they would have a life of their own. Your husband, he to will change over time. As the kids grow up and on.
Doing the work of ten men because it's easier to just do it yourself is also familiar. Trust me, if you ever become so bad that you spend months on a pile of pillows unable to make it to the bathroom by yourself...others will get tierd of seeing their dirty sox and shoes laying around the house and eventually there is no room left in the sink or on the counter for another dirty dish! They learn to do it and you learn to let them.
You need a break bad. Maybe your body can heal. Leaving you family for good doesn't sound like something you want or that I would even recommend but a vacation from them may be in order! Good for them and for you. If you have the funds maybe a long trip to the mountains/beach (any place relaxing) by yourself or with a friend/sibling. If not maybe stay at a relatives. If that fails you could try house sitting for someone. Anything to get a break.
No one knows for certain what causes fibromyalgia. I believe it could have different causes for different people hence the reason everyone responds differently to the meds. But there are some common threads and stress is one of them. For some I think it is the cause for others I think it is the trigger but either way it is best avoided. Hahaha like that's Posable. We just have to find ways to avoid it the best we can, minimize it when we can and rethink how we let it affect us.
I know this is lengthy and truthfully Willow is the exspert on the effects of stress in the body but I wanted to reach out the best I could and share what little I (think) I know.
Hope this helps if just a little.
 
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