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aimeejo

New member
Joined
Jun 27, 2015
Messages
1
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
06/2015
Country
US
State
wa
This is my first time ever going online for help, but I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia 2 days ago. I'm ok with the diagnosis, but when I told my mother she immediately became infuriated! She basically flipped out on me and said it is a fake condition and she is absolutely disgusted by anyone who seeks out this diagnosis... So here's the kicker, my mother is a fairly prominent member of the local medical community (been a nurse for 40 years and is in management at very large clinic )... I'm still in shock and I really don't know what to say or do in regards to my mother completely dismissing me and basically telling me I'm full of shit? Do a lot of people feel like she does about fibromyalgia? I'm seriously afraid to tell anyone else for fear of backlash... I promise something is wrong with me, I'm suffering, I'm not making this up.
 

lady.elea

New member
Joined
Jul 6, 2015
Messages
2
Reason
Other
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
US
State
Arkansas
Hi there, I am brand, so very brand new and looking through posts, honestly nervous to start. Creative avoidance? Actually, paralysis by analysis...research in order to feel productive without ever actually doing something...go me!

Your story is a punch in the gut because it is an excellent representation of my own fear playing out. I know fibro is real and those who discredit its legitimacy really are being small minded at best, which is exceptionally disappointing if they are connected to you AND part of the health community. You know you feel pain. You know you were honest. You know you went into this looking for help. And yet...what if? Oh the perilously pernicious doubt constantly bubbling just beneath the surface. All it takes is someone else delivering a well placed blow to crack the shell :/

My fear is being ridiculed or discredited if I am diagnosed. I have been encouraged to look into it despite having played off my symptoms for years. I have always perceived Fibro as a legitimate diagnosis for everyone else, but surely not me. By that I mean, clearly I don't DESERVE to be diagnosed with an actual ailment. In my mind I am weak and my body is junk, the only thing wrong with me is that I cannot maturely cope with perfectly normal minor discomforts that everyone experiences daily with the dignified dismissal such inconsequential sensations actually warrant.

But worse than the pain.. what if it is true? What if this actually comes down to my inability to deal with something very normal. God how crushing that would be. It would mean that not only I am a weak, but that there is nothing to make it stop. Not knowing one way or the other means I can have hope, even if it is unfulfilled.

Having your mother react in such an oppositional manner must be compounding all pre-existing anxieties. I have nothing to offer except genuine care and concern as a total stranger. I can also offer the advice I am very clearly not following for myself, but that doesn't mean it isn't good advice...be kind to yourself and do not let someone else, no matter who they are, belittle you or give you doubt. Imagine your mother complexly and try to assume the best motives, even if they are nonsensical. Do that for yourself, not for her nor anyone else who expresses vehement skepticism.

Give yourself credit for having the courage to risk having an answer instead of hiding behind a nice hazy "who knows? maybe its nothing..." mentality.
 

moe1959

Very helpful member
Joined
Sep 13, 2014
Messages
708
Reason
Undiagnosed
Diagnosis
09/2014
Country
US
State
wa.
Our words can heal or kill, I would suggest you only share with people who understand, don't get to upset, I have a friend that tells people she has something similar just to avoid the criticism, smart lady, wish I had thought of it first. One of the worst thing that can happen to us is stress, so avoid setting yourself up for something negative.
Remember, ignorance is not an excuse to be a #@##@$×!
DONT WASTE YOUR VALUABLE TIME ON (Kill Joys). Good luck, your Not alone!
 

cmetryme

Extremely helpful member
Joined
Nov 3, 2013
Messages
1,030
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
03/2008
Country
US
State
TX
sounds like mom needs to educated herself. most doctors and nurses will not acknowledge it because of how they are looked at after they believe in fibro.
if she is so knowledgeable on how you should feel then what does she think it is? telling you those things is not helping you at all.
you came to her for help and she let you down. let here know your disappointment in her and her lack of caring.

you would think she could help you. if she is not willing to help you then avoid her. she is raising your pain levels when you are around her.

it's all about what you believe not what she believes!
 

Forgetmenot

Legendary member
Joined
Oct 6, 2014
Messages
1,549
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
70/2010
Country
UK
State
Hertfordshire
I think I'd tell my mother how hurt I am that the women who loved and raised me could be so mean.
And then leave it at that, you can't not have fibro to suit small minded ppl. I tell ppl what I have and they like it or lump it.if one was to tell me it was bullcrap Id have to tell them to prove to me they have ever had a headache ,they can't there's no test out there but we believe someone when they say they got one don't we.
So next time she says she had a headache ask her to prove it,or ask her to prove ppl have parkinsons cose there's no blood test out there to prove it.
And that's a fact. If she blows up and starts just say look there's a lot of illness out there no one can prove and we simple go on the symptoms .
So why is it so hard to believe fibro is any diffrent.
 

Susies

New member
Joined
Jul 11, 2015
Messages
4
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
02/1995
Country
AU
State
WA
Hello Aimeejo,

Just to say chin up gal! Don't let it bother you what your mother has said, it will only upset you more and in doing so will make your symptoms worse! I am reading a book at the moment that is good reading and may help.
Loving Yourself to Great Health
Thoughts & Food--The Ultimate Diet with Louise Hay, Ahlea Khadro and Heather Dane
I have been suffering for about 20 years now, so can sympathise totally with anyone who is in any sort of pain.
 
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