"Did I say something wrong?"

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VanGogh

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Misunderstandings happen. Do they happen more when one has Fibro?

I'm hesitant to even mention this wondering if it will be taken out of context. It just seems to me that a number of people must read into words or comments things that are not there or at least not intended to be mean or hurtful or suggestive in any way other than what the author is attempting to say.

Once, many years ago I met a very tall beautiful blonde girl. We hit it off well immediately and the relationship developed quickly. About 10 days into the relationship my phone rang around lunch time and I happened to walk home to make myself a sandwich. The phone rang around 12:15 and it was Cathy ( the new GF ) After saying hello there was a longer than normal pause and I heard her voice say hesitantly : " Theo "? happy to hear her voice I excitedly said: " HEY! This is a surprise. How are you?" once again the pause was longer than expected and she said with a lot of emotion in her voice: " OH THEO! What is happening to us???"

I was dumbfounded. What could she possibly mean? So I asked: " What do you mean? W hy are you asking that?"

It seems that I had called her a few mornings before going to work and this one morning I didn't call. I was running late for work and there weren't cell phones so I didn't call. We had a GREAT week-end, lot's of laughing and loving, but somehow the missed call lead her to think that something was wrong. It took me most of the phone call to convince her that I hadn't replaced her with someone new.

These days it's not about the same subject but I often read, see, or hear people asking if they said or did something wrong and like then I'm puzzled by the question.

Is it possible that something happens chemically to stir doubt, or fear of some-sort?

Please do not read anything suggestive or bad or that I am speaking to any particular person or people. I'm just wondering out-loud.

Does anyone else notice this hyper-sensitivity?
 

ChinaCat

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Joined
Jun 21, 2017
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20
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DX FIBRO
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05/2017
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US
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Illinois
Hi there,

I think, and this is just my personal reflection, that many of us who have FM are also trapped in an anxiety/depression loop. We are anxious and depressed because we are in pain, and the pain exacerbates the anxiety and depression. When we suffer from depression/anxiety, we tend to worry, overthink, over-analyze, worry, and have a lot of negative self-talk.

I recently started Cymbalta, and once it kicked in it was like a fog had lifted. I knew I had anxiety/depression but I always thought I could talk my way out of it. Like, it's not that bad and it could be worse mentality. But once I started meds is was like, "OMG!" I could see with clarity again. I'm not constantly worrying and I don't carry that heavy weight of anxiety in the pit of my stomach. I'm not telling myself what a horrible person I am.

If anti-depressants are not for you, I suggest talk therapy to learn behavior modification techniques to work through the anxiety. Personally, meds were the best option for me, but I understand it's not for everyone.

Best,

China Cat
 

Tipnatee N

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May 8, 2017
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594
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DX FIBRO
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11/2012
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New york
ChinaCat is totally spot on on this subject. I often found my self misreading the air of the conversation in many situations and often ended up saying something that causing a commotion. I always blame my self and overthinking things Iike over and over till I have to distract my self with anything to get out of that loop . Trying hard to be good trying hard to be considered and kind then suddenly I was shock with anxiety and feeling like my head practically exploded then nothing is making sense anymore . It's often say that sometimes we've got to be selfish to push through our spiraling depression and thinking of our self first. But other people reaction to any our action effect us tremendously so much so even a tiny little thing can drove us mentally shot. Feeling like someone had ripped our heart out or hit us in the head knocking us out of balance which we're trying so hard to hold on with everything we've got. On top of that sometime I find my self becoming more and more eccentric these days. I lost momentum of interest without knowing, I'm unknowingly tuned out things that's commonsensical to majority of society, things that I should have easily do without thinking like remember friend's or family birthday, the usual phone calls routine, holiday spirit, etc. All the "normal" stuff that I've been raise to know how to like a second nature I simply forgotten like it's on the corner of my mind but I just couldn't see it. Most of the time it's often happen to us that our family and friends are concerning of our distanced and our sudden uncommunicative personality and attitude out of the blue and we always so shock by it cause we didn't know what we did exactly. The more we try fix it the harder it gets. What I did is sitting them down , explain my condition while express my feeling of how much they mean to me and make some jokes about it to ease the tension. Just make sure the jokes is about you and not them since it could goes very wrong sometimes cause no one like to be point out false until they wish and agree to. ( I've learned it slowly by slowly both here and outside)
 
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