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TinaL

Active member
Joined
May 3, 2013
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73
Diagnosis
06/2013
Country
CA
State
BC
You come to my house and I am still in my pjs and my house is not clean/tidy, you think what a lazy slob. Unless you have FM you have no idea why so do not judge.
Do you know how much effort it takes to get showered and dressed when you have barely enough energy to get out of bed? Do you know how it hurts to have anything touch you so you wear pjs instead of running around naked?

Life with FM is a constant struggle. Things that I used to do are more than I am able to cope with now. I would love to be able to jump out of bed in the morning, have a shower, get dressed and go out to work/play. My mind says lets do this but my body says no way.

Then there are the days when even my mind says that is more than I can deal with and it takes a rest, this is called “fibro fog” by the way. Do you know what it’s like to get lost on your way somewhere familiar or to not be able to find the right words in the middle of a conversation or to forget what you were just talking about? Unless you have FM you know none of this and honestly you probably don’t understand either, so do not judge.

And please keep your comments about exercise, diet, miracle cures, etc to yourself because I have heard most of it before and I know what works/does not work for me.
 
Good post, TinaL... and something that I'm sure everyone reading it here will understand and be able to identify with.

I hope you were talking about people in local life and not anyone here. :smile:

While I see a "miracle cure" post once in a while, the support here, and the genuine understanding because others suffer the same is amazing and very positive. You mentioned exercise and diet... I think many of the members here have found some relief in changing a diet or exercising, so those posts would be sharing what helped them individually... not judging someone else.
 
Hi Mariposa yes I was just ranting about people in general. The support and advice from this site is very helpful and positive because it is from people who do know and understand. :D
 
Yep, yep... people can sure be unfeeling creatures. I think that people are much more emboldened than ever in the past. I have heard horrible judging of others from people I would have never expected it from.

There's one gal in particular... she does it so often and then sometimes I hear "I sure misjudged ___" and although you think she'd learn a lesson, she's soon doing it again. Sheesh! :roll:
 
yes people can be so mean sometimes, I keep my illness to my self as much as I can. Even if they ask how I feel, I just reply fine thank you. Its really sad that some people are so insensitive. My advise is to keep away from toxic people like that; after all fibromyalgia is stress related.
 
I am new to this site. You are so right people are so quick to judge or comment on something they know nothing about. I know how you feel it seems like everything around you is closing in on you. You can't do any housework or,anything. I am dragging myself to work each day and suffering. The illness is the pits..
 
yes people can be so mean sometimes, I keep my illness to my self as much as I can. Even if they ask how I feel, I just reply fine thank you. Its really sad that some people are so insensitive. My advise is to keep away from toxic people like that; after all fibromyalgia is stress related.

This is what I've been doing, too, no matter how I feel. I realized that "fessing up" that I'm not feeling well for whatever reason really isn't usually the best choice.

So I just answer with "doing great, how 'bout you?" and then the conversation can move on without a bajillion questions or unwanted advice.
 
The only one fit to do any judging is the good lord. The rest of us should all take a back seat.
 
I am so sick and tired of people saying hurtful things. I feel like me whole world is crashing in on me. The one person I thought really loved me just said he wishes he never married me. He said Im retarded, I HATE THIS ILLNESS
 
I'm so sorry your husband talked to you that way. It was not only hurtful, but insensitive and disrespectful. If you have anyone who is positive and understanding with your illness, talk with them. Look through this website. There is a very good support system for you to talk about your illness and help you to cope. I am finding that negativity does nothing but make my illness worse. It adds unneeded stress, which this illness seems to love. I have made some very difficult choices about those who are negative or have a lack of understanding with my illness. In the long run, I know I'm better off spending my time and putting my efforts elsewhere. Please take care of yourself. You're worth more than how you were treated.....
 
I am so sick and tired of people saying hurtful things. I feel like me whole world is crashing in on me. The one person I thought really loved me just said he wishes he never married me. He said Im retarded, I HATE THIS ILLNESS

:( :( I'm sitting here knowing that I want to respond to this... and at the same time not having a clue what to say. "I'm sorry" just doesn't cut it sometimes.

I guess I'll say that I hope you can look beyond people who are so callous and unthinking... sometimes the only way to puff themselves up is to cut someone else down. I think doing all that's in your power to be good to Lana without relying on someone else for that is usually a wise thing to do. Then if someone else is extra nice or understanding, it's a bonus.

(For the record, I *am* sorry you're having to go through this emotional garbage thrown at you on top of the fibro pain.) :x
 
Very well said, Tina! A lot people judge me wrongly, but thy have no iea what I have to deal with on a daily basis. Because apart from fibro I also deal with other health issues, including chronic depression. So far dealing with chronic depression has been the worst, plus the brain fog. I'm just 27 years old, but I have an awful memory and not that good remembering names or faces anymore, so when someone who knows me sees me but I don't greet them because I have a ton things in my mind and I just stay too focused in my own thing... they think I'm mean and weird. Oh boy... do people enjoy judging without knowing!

I no longer care about it tho, so neither should you :) Just focus on coping with this... no choice, because opinions are like *sses; everyone has one, lol. Do what I do and just ignore them!
 
yes people can be so mean sometimes, I keep my illness to my self as much as I can. Even if they ask how I feel, I just reply fine thank you. Its really sad that some people are so insensitive. My advise is to keep away from toxic people like that; after all fibromyalgia is stress related.

Same here, Lana. I've come to realize people only ask you how you are as a courtesy, they don't really want to know how you really are, they just expect to hear ''fine'' so they can get over with that and go on with their days. That's why I don't complain to my SO anymore, he will never get it and in the end makes things a bit awkward between us every time I do this. Plus no one likes to be around a chronic complainer.
 
I can certainly relate to this! Especially with my Mom.. God love her. She's my best friend and an amazing woman at almost 78! She runs circles around me. But I feel so guilty when I'm in the same spot I was yesterday when she came over... It's tough but she is supportive in her own way! Gentle Hugs
 
That's alright. I usually try not to judge, since I know what it means to have a hidden disease that nobody knows anything about.
 
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