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No apology needed!I have my moments where I am bitter too.It sucks to be alone,when someone's company might make a big difference in one's outlook on things.But I am not sure if you can pin your own happiness on someone else,if you are an unhappy person on your own,chances are you will not find permanent happiness with someone else.For me the jury is still out on this subject,but I would like to think that falling in love can change everything.Maybe I just hope that it is possible!
 
Happiness.. I once thought fallen in love might help cure my fibro . Yet it's still so ripe with guilts, fear, and more worries than I could ever imagine. Now that another person life hanging on the balance along with me. How can I be so selfish and act so happy? Now that both of our problems are entwine. I need to be the emotinal pillar support for him too. In the back of mine minds always kept looking for a way to make life simpler. But the choices are very limited and slim.

It's reminding me of once that I bumped in to someone in the supermarket with my shopping cart by accident . I was just fished my doctor visited and while my brain still foggy by the odd doctor's comments . I've heard she yelled to me to go drop dead! . I accidentally gave her a big huge smile and said " thank you!". Like she just gave me a wonderful blessing. I think I might have freaked her out unintentionally. :shock:
 
I know you have many fears,but I think you will be fine!You have heard,I am sure,that for some couples the struggle can bring you closer too.Your reaction of smiling at the person who was rude shows to me that,you are on the right path and your bf picked you.So if you ask me he had already fallen in love with you,but never told you before your marriage fell apart.As a man,I too have had simple friendships with women that I was crazy about for years,and never said a word because she was in a relationship or I knew she just wanted to be friends.But secretly hoped that she would see me that way.He obviously looked past your illness,accepted it and saw a wonderful lady!Like I have told you,I believe you found one of those elusive men with guts!
 
OMG that is so sweat of you to say!!!!! My jaw dropped after I fished reading your replied . Any lady you'll endup with would be the luckiest lady in the world. You sir are one very romantic man!!! 8)
 
Thank you for your kind words,they made me feel good about who I really am,but in this life,I am more or less invisible to the women of today.I have a twin who is arrogant,selfish and in love with himself more than any woman.Women gravitate toward men like him,generally who will treat them like crap.Why?I have no idea why.Some want to fix him.But the fact remains,good men usually finish last and usually with a monster for a wife!!I can not change who I am,so it is their loss,and inevitably mine.I have grown accustomed to it and accept it.Kind of like this joy called fibro....
 
That's reminding me of a question of how many of those self loving men needs to screw in a light bulb? .
And the answer is 'none' . Cause all they need to do is just stand there holding the light bulb and the world revolve around them. :x

I think most self-absorbed men are naturally at drawing women in because they've love them self too much it shows :roll: . And because of that it's kind of similar to a natural talented salesmen that can sell just about anything regardless . They're good at selling them self so naturally in everyway possible similar to a con-artist . They conned women the same way cause that's who they are. Same as women too in someway . It might be the self loading type of people it self, that continue to break people like us hearts in to pieces, or stealing our prizes.

I'm not saying that you should pickup a con-artist techniques cause you shouldn't try to be like them. And most of all unlike them You sir are not cheap ! But the idea it's self , it's just how the world work. Like how we like to buy the products , it can't just be a good products cause good products won't sell it self . And we won't knows about it so in result we easily look passed it like it wasn't there. It's like a self marketing techniques , how to perceive. How to dress effortlessly well, which another word meaning he has to look suiting him self , well within his own charm, and that I don't mean just clothing, it's more like how men carrying them self in the world. It's not all have to be in full confidence, just need to be please with him self and in that moment women would notice. But sadly most good men don't really know their own style or how good they looks so help would be needed sometime. The rest just kept your self in an honest bright light ( don't hide in the shadow) . Maintain appropriated surrounding that works well within Your self for the long run. You are not doing it to impress anyone but your self , do it so you can be proud of it you self. Only then women will be able to see you as you are fully. As far as being agrassive , you your self are the best of bait and you should belive that. Cause you sir are naturally romantic guy. You dont need to pretent. Just enhancing who you are , gear towards the way that you can acctually fall in love with own your self then the monster will be born. :mrgreen:

Sounds like alot of works but it just simply finding the way to be comfortable under your own skin which obviously not the fibro skin but you know what I means. And that's how I sees it.
 
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Thank you for your suggestions and I understand what you are saying.But,I am frankly at the point where nothing else matters.I am more interested in taking care of me,myself and I.My favorite three people!hahaha!!I am so close to a revelation that will be life changing for me,you and others like us.I have spent countless hours,as I am sure you and others have,searching,hoping,giving up,then picking myself up after long periods of perpetual pain,distress,anger,loneliness,hopelessness and then searching some more.I think we have all thought that we would find enough relief,to carry on with a decent life,Yeah right!!After my 20th anniversary of my gift of fibromyalgia and of feeling like crap on a virtually daily basis,I also turned 53.I decided I would ignore what all these specialists' theories were,since the only people they helped was themselves and their big pharma friends to enjoy multiple homes,long vacations,a great life,oh and gifts between them all the time.They never ever thank us,maybe a bottle of good wine as a gift at Christmas,or tickets to a lousy Habs game,you know... just a small show of appreciation for making them rich.Yeah right!!Well,the best thing about thinking out of the box is,that it means traditional ways of thinking get thrown out!!That will hopefully mean that there is no money in it for them,which is probably why they ignore it.This subject is about exercise intolerance.What would you say if I told you last week,I spent 2 days bringing 1500 lbs of wood down a ladder from the 2nd floor roof(old deck) of a condo building to the ground and carried it 100 yds to the road and then loaded it up and to the dump.I weigh 150lbs.The third day,I was almost recovered already and pain levels were not bad and going down!I would never have had the strenghth,energy or quick recovery only two months ago.How is that for improvement?!
 
Its an amazing achievement....i couldn't climb up and down a ladder empty handed repeatedly without paying with complete collapse for an undefined amount of time.....so good for you.

May i ask do your joints seize up from exercise.....some of us get joints that seize because the muscles and tendons surrounding them get so rigid until the joints also loose all flexibility and become excruciating. My knees feet hips shoulders elbows do it and wrists and fingers get extremely painful as well as the more obvious wide spread muscle pains.

This is what makes me exercise intolerant..i tried building slowly after my condition deteriorated but get constant set backs that are manifest in decreased range of movement thats been stuck for 2 years...so now i have what appears to be 2 frozen shoulders and knees i can hardly stand on.

If i type for long my arm and shoulder muscles get tighter and tighter and more and more painful until i have to stop and rest as again it all seizes and i can barely lift them or anything else....repeat tapping my smart phone then sends severe pain through my fingers wrists and up my arms and into my shoulder too.

Does this ring any bells of similarity with anyone?
 
I truly apologize to all since conversation went far away out of main subjects.. I had no idea how it got there. :confused:
 
Maybe we wandered off the subject for a bit,but the fact is that every one of us has relationships that have been affected by our fibro.You have my sympathy with your inability to get any meaningful exercise into your daily routine.I was where you are now,and really thought that it would never change.I would suggest maybe try to stretch and do breathing exercises to start.Yoga too.
 
Vertigo + SPD (sensory Processing dysfunction) + yoga = lots of unexpected head and body injuries. :confused:

I know that could try wearing head and body protactive gears, but I doubt it would work that well for yoga. I usually do stretching on bed cause it's safest way to go although I kept fallen off of it I can away add pillow on the side floors.

In my old place I had someone put the large heavy hooks on the walls and the ceiling with soft fabric ropes ( stronger and light weight) hanging from them. So on my bad day I can grab on to get up and walking around, or I can loop them around my shoulder or waist to supporting me standing while doing things I need to do like Cooking since learned to do it almost with my eyes closed, or doing laundry . It's also great for stretching martial art style . Like a string puppet. It actually was quite a lot of fun .
 
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God I wish I could offer a magic bullet to help,but we all know what works for one,does not always work for everyone.Let me put it this way,I have researched about an exercise strategy that is still experimental,but it basically states that you can get your cholesterol,blood sugars,triglycerides down by doing 3 minutes per workout,4 times a week within 3 months.Their theory makes you get on a stationary bike and pedal like you have a T Rex after your behind for the full 3 minutes!The guy who did it,lowered his blood numbers by 25%.Frankly,I do not believe in 12 minutes a week,you can become fit!BUT,I do believe that focused,and intense blood saturation(or filling up) of all muscle groups for a short duration(when I first started 5 yrs ago,it was a 10 to 15 minutes a day)over a period of 3 months,and you will feel changes,I have no doubt!It made me able to improve slowly but surely.There is something about getting your muscles completely full of oxygenated blood,for a short period every morning,that brings pain levels down for a large part of the day,not gone,but significantly lower.When I start every morning,all my joints and muscles are not in the mood,me either to be honest!If you can't exercise per se,try to do something that will bring blood to specific areas gently and keep doing it regularly.I am sorry to say that Pain is inevitable,but within a half hour after,you will feel better for quite a large part of the remainder of the day.One thing,as you get tired getting through life's daily duties,the pain returns unfortunately,so you must listen to your body,to avoid overdoing it.This one strategy,has given me my first real relief since I first had symptoms beginning in the late 90s.Unfortunately,it takes effort,but I must say I am 53,and my muscles are cut,I look fit and I haven't done any weights since 2002!(I just use my body weight).I hope that it can help some of you to function with less pain too.Please let me know how it goes either way,I would be thrilled if it helps one person to lower their pain levels,and to feel better.I still have a few other strategies,one really big one that is not going to be shared,till I am sure it is sound.Good Luck!!
 
All the peddaling I have ever been able to do successfully once a while was during my sleep thanks to RLS + vivid dream of marathon bike race in my bed till I woke up from sleep disturbance with hyperventilating/panic, caused I accidently raced my own heartbeat out of my chest during sleep. :cry:

Because of that, I do not have any luxury of sleeping in the same bed with anyone because of it. Even my cat won't ever sleep with me.
 
I am sorry that you have such difficult issues.But,I think you missed my point a little.The theory was presented using cycling as their example in the explanation.But it holds true using other forms of exercise,my version uses yoga for lungs and core strength,and resistance exercises to engorge your muscles with blood.You pick the gentlest forms of motiom that suit your specific issues,and start small,then build on it over whatever time period you need!We all know,that nothing is given to you in this life,especially us fibro sufferers.There is a saying,no pain no gain!You must figure out what version of gentle exercise you can handle,and believe that there is some relief out there,but you must try to work through the pain and start somewhere.I wish you luck!
 
Pains? One thing in my fibro life that I'm not scare of is pains.

Do you know about the spoon theory ? It's not about pushing through pain to gain more tolerance against it. I used to think that same way too, but my body stop doing that any longer. There is no more getting stronger by pushing through pain. Sure it's very hard to believe cause even I still having hard time believing it my self but I lost that when my heart went on hyperdrive . My body is eating it self out of energy . My heart pounding so hard out of my chest it took all the strength that i have just by simply walking around or just getting excited in small little things. I could black out at any moment.

Imagine try to run while you having a heart attack and being choke at the same time and no one around that could safe you. I have strong lung to begin with , and i think that's the reason why my body started to hyperventilate/panic very quickly . If you never hyperventilate along with panic before you wouldn't understand what i'm talking about cause it's not as easy to describe as heart attack or simply short breathing. Your brain is on fight/flight mode but your body lost all function. The closer way I could try to describe is like you overdose on some kind of dangerous drug and feeling like you're about to die excruciated death from it . And there's no way out only to let it run it course till it's over. Imagin having it every time you push your self doing something even under your calculations of you typical limit it's still can't guarantee if it won't strike you down just because it can . And one attack from that then i'll be crashing for days after.

So I subjected my self through that brutality days after day. Did I get any improvement ever ? Sadly i only gain more problem instead. It was the same thing when my doctor try to fix my sleep disorders , I've done everything for it as he asked and more enough for my doctor approval, only in the end to get much worse from the fixing and training program it self . I went from delay sleep phrase, periodic insomnia , and once a while sleep disturbance to extreme sleep disturbance , day time sleep attacks, prolong vivid dream + sleep paralysis+hellucination ( that actually do talk back) and soon after , i've got Non-24 and no augument against it . I can actually die from sleep depravations if I kept on fighting. Yeah all that happening during exercised regularly and pushing myself through limits . I even filmed my self excercise daily and go though all the therapies so my doctor have enough evidences.

It took me a while to learn that this is my harsh reality of my fibromyalgia. I can no longer manipulate my body fuction the same way as normal human doing.

I'm glad you can still do it. And I hope you can keep it up forever.
 
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