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vickythecat

Senior member
Joined
Jan 5, 2017
Messages
366
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
01/2013
Country
EU
State
Earth
Ok, I will have to cool you down before I go any further - this is not a famous TV doctor in the States, the UK or anywhere in Europe. Thankfully I suppose...

I won't mention where, but it is in the country where I live and this is so so so frustrating. How dare he???!!! The majority of the population is uneducated and they will believe anything a 'charismatic tv' doctor will tell them.

It is true that there is a huge 'culture of pain' in this country. If anyone saw you with a broken leg, they'd come up to you and talk about the pain in their leg instead of asking you how you are doing/how it happened (true story - happened to me!).

It is like a competition - you are abnormal if you don't constantly complain about your health. I moved to this country 10 years ago and I was shocked how in any setting, people would go into these 'sickness' competitions. 'But I have had this and that', 'mine was worse'....Sharing all kinds of very private details. Needless to say, everyone is also depressed and on anti-depressants, which are by the way available over the counter - yes, you heard me right, you can buy any anti-depressant like you are buying a package of candies!

To me, my health is my private business. But here it is not. It is public business. Even in a doctor's waiting room, people ask each other why they are there and they will again start with the 'competition of illness' and advising each other which medication they should take.

It is beyond words....I don't understand a culture where people are so proud of how sick they are/have been, and not about how healthy they are, how fast they can run, how good they feel etc.

So of course doctors know this and sadly real fibromyalgia sufferers have fallen victim to this 'pain culture'. So no wonder some doctors simply do not believe it exists. They are biased and therefore probably do not even catch up on latest research or advancements, science on the topic.

I am just venting here. I feel so angry right now! I know this problem exists all around the world, but believe me it is the worst over here. How can you fight ignorance and lack of education?
 
Hi Vickythecat,

I understand how frustrating that must be, and if the dr has a negative viewpoint towards the disease then he influences everyone else.

It must be hard to have everyone talking about their health, that could get depressing.And sometimes u just don't want to tell people your personal business.I was very surprised to hear that anti depressants are over the counter.

Would love to know where that is. So I wont go there,lol only kidding.I find it very hard to live with this disease. Just this week I was experiencing more pain than usual in my hands and knees. And just getting irritable and the "why me"feeling. I quickly get myself mentLly out of that,but a little pity doesn't hurt anyone.

And when we get like this we need support from friends,families or doctors.
But if they are not there to help us , it can make us to get depressed and lonely.

This is a chronic pain disease and when drs here that,they think people are drug abusers or difficult patients.And that makes it hard for us to find a caring and supportful Dr.

Like I said I know where your coming from because we all are going through the same things.things that we thought would never happen to us.We have to keep being positive and strong and keep moving.

Sorry if I rambled on.

Have a good day and feel better

Sagey
 
I live in the great Ameeica. It took 20 years and I don't know how many doctors before I got a diagnosis. I had doctors roll their eyes at me, shrug their shoulders and the worst told me I had to quit doing this to myself and family! I was diagnosed by a ruemotologist that my ENT sent me to, when I went to see my pcp he rolled his eyes and told my its a trash can diagnosis but he was glad if having the diagnosis made me feel better! I can't count how many times I was referred to a psychiatrist.
 
when I went to see my pcp he rolled his eyes and told my its a trash can diagnosis but he was glad if having the diagnosis made me feel better! I can't count how many times I was referred to a psychiatrist.

Oh my goodness, I was told the same by a rheumatologist once as well = a trash can diagnosis. I was like 'what the hell is that?'. I guess it is a 'secret' term used among some doctors. I was so so sooo angry.

My mental illness was also blamed time and time again for all of my complaints even though I kept telling them I was not depressed. Hello?!? I am the mentally ill person here, I know what depression is, and when I am depressed and whenever I am not.

I try to look at it objectively as well. Why don't doctors take our complaints seriously? Do they really think we are hypochondriacs? That we are doing this 'for attention'? Hell, if I wanted 'attention', I'd walk around naked!

And I know there are many people out there who to the doctor for every little ache and pain, but as a doctor, every patient needs to be taken seriously and assessed thoroughly. I wish I could find a doctor who was also suffering from fibromyalgia himself/herself - only then maybe they'd truly want to help and listen.
 
I was structed with a hiccup after I read your post with the question of " have I ever?" When I was young I had wittiness my dad pulling the the similar stunts with my mother to the point where he really believed that is what he's suffering. My mom was so sick of it , so she invented some made up symptoms just to mess with him then tell me " look.. look at him goes" :mrgreen: I know it's evil but I think he deserved that at least. Still , I've found my self doing something similar while talking about my real illness symptoms, thinking that's how I show my understanding while trying to give advice if I have any to help. Maybe even if I thought that was a right conversation , maybe it's not. :(
One things that I really admired my bf for doing for me the most during my griefs/stresses/illnesses pains dramas is his compassionate silent. He won't talk, won't hug me, nor touch me in anyway .. just sit next to me even when he just stared at the space I can feels that he knows . Even when my condition gets very bad I don't want to say a word , that silent soothing me the most more than sympathy, more than compassionate words. While I'm such a jerk trying to fix every body problem including my own in the bossy way possible which also doing nothing but making me sicker and sick of my self for doing so. :evil:
 
Oh my goodness, I was told the same by a rheumatologist once as well = a trash can diagnosis. I was like 'what the hell is that?'. I guess it is a 'secret' term used among some doctors. I was so so sooo angry.

My mental illness was also blamed time and time again for all of my complaints even though I kept telling them I was not depressed. Hello?!? I am the mentally ill person here, I know what depression is, and when I am depressed and whenever I am not.

I try to look at it objectively as well. Why don't doctors take our complaints seriously? Do they really think we are hypochondriacs? That we are doing this 'for attention'? Hell, if I wanted 'attention', I'd walk around naked!

And I know there are many people out there who to the doctor for every little ache and pain, but as a doctor, every patient needs to be taken seriously and assessed thoroughly. I wish I could find a doctor who was also suffering from fibromyalgia himself/herself - only then maybe they'd truly want to help and listen.

I second that! Cause the same experiences here, good thing my last doctor diagnosed me with what he called " the classic case of fibromyalgia " after many many tests . Before that I thought I was losing my mind with all the other doctors in different hospitals!! Even after that my last doctor still didn't explain what is fibromyalgia to me , I have to spent years of doing my own researches after. And still being referring to physiatrist. At this point I do believe that I do need to see physiatrist not for the mental symptoms , but for their reason that if I want medication that help with other symptoms that fibromyalgia bring along with , physiatrist can write those prescriptions to me much easier than regular doctor could or allow by law.
 
At this point I do believe that I do need to see physiatrist not for the mental symptoms , but for their reason that if I want medication that help with other symptoms that fibromyalgia bring along with , physiatrist can write those prescriptions to me much easier than regular doctor could or allow by law.

I totally agree that seeing a psychiatrist can for many of us be a good idea as well. Not because our pain is related to mental illness, but with everyday chronic pain, it is even harder to have a healthy mind.

I am also seriously considering going to one myself. I haven't been to one in years despite my ongoing, life long mental health issues. I also think maybe with the medication he can give me the right medication and possibly combined with some talk therapy, I can reduce this inner stress inside of me, which I am sure will help my fibro symptoms as well.
 
I totally agree that seeing a psychiatrist can for many of us be a good idea as well. Not because our pain is related to mental illness, but with everyday chronic pain, it is even harder to have a healthy mind.

I am also seriously considering going to one myself. I haven't been to one in years despite my ongoing, life long mental health issues. I also think maybe with the medication he can give me the right medication and possibly combined with some talk therapy, I can reduce this inner stress inside of me, which I am sure will help my fibro symptoms as well.

I stopped going to doctor about a few years ago after he referred me to see psychiatrist cause at first I was offended by the idea but after a few years after many research I understand more of his reason why. I still believe that when I do get a chance to see psychiatrist I would have to come up with some strategies to get to the point for what I need cause I don't want to go in to the long conversation about childhood tragedy or traumas since it's gonna escalate then there goes the loops of unending sessions that lead to no where out of my wallet and more frustrations . Most fibromyalgia person including me seem to know very well of where we're standing in terms of the personal issue. Best possible way is probably write a guide which and how I want to get treat , what my psychiatrist need to know about me inside and out so they can get right to the point without any time wasted. They're welcome to treat my controlling freak issue after at least I'll get what I'll be paying for :mrgreen:
 
Tipnatee, I know what you mean. That is the main reason I do not want to go to a therapist again. Been there, done that!!!
And the last thing I need is to talk all over again endlessly about my damn childhood. I have done that, have worked through the trauma, and none of that is why I am depressed. If that were the reason I am depressed, it would have been solved a long time and thousands of dollars ago. I have no energy for talking about that crap any more. But every single therapist wants to start all over again because A) they are curious (as if I am there to satisfy their curiosity!!!) and B) because they seem to think that they could magically fix me if I would talk about it, even though none of the dozens before them ever did. So, no, I am not interested in therapy at this point.
 
i agree talking therapy just rakes up past hurts and brings them slap back into the present making them more real rather than a distant memory we have already managed to deal with....no talking in the world has ever made me feel better mostly keeping active creating new happier memories simple things like cuddling my cats or seeing nature has been my best therapy and eventually to let past hurts go

I have to say this is not so easy with severe fibro. I have to say at some point or another we have all had that awful raised eyebrow and subtle smirk of disbelief from one doctor or another blaming all our pain on depression or suggestions all in our minds.

Its hard to imagine a culture where its a competition who is the most ill!
 
....no talking in the world has ever made me feel better mostly keeping active creating new happier memories simple things like cuddling my cats or seeing nature has been my best therapy and eventually to let past hurts go

I cannot agree more on this one. Cuddling up with my animal friends is the best therapy/medication out there for me as well, followed close by taking a walk in nature.

I've been through different types of talk therapy, and yes, most of them want to start from the start which can be so so so tiring, opening up old wounds etc. And I agree, just talking about painful things does nothing to help us at all. In fact, it probably would make us feel even worse.

But I have also seen a therapist who by getting through to me, taught me some amazing coping mechanisms for each situation I had serious trouble dealing with. It was a very practical way of looking at a problem, it did not mainly focus on emotions, but more on the structure of that situation. She taught me many 'mindfullness' methods 2 decades before it became a hype, for example. I wish I could go back to her and re-learn some of the methods. But since I can't, I am planning to give other therapists a try because my anxiety is off the roof lately. (thankfully, all covered by social security. I find it disgusting how private therapists ask for so much money per session.)

I only now need to find the courage to leave my house.....:sad:
 
Tipnatee, I know what you mean. That is the main reason I do not want to go to a therapist again. Been there, done that!!!
And the last thing I need is to talk all over again endlessly about my damn childhood. I have done that, have worked through the trauma, and none of that is why I am depressed. If that were the reason I am depressed, it would have been solved a long time and thousands of dollars ago. I have no energy for talking about that crap any more. But every single therapist wants to start all over again because A) they are curious (as if I am there to satisfy their curiosity!!!) and B) because they seem to think that they could magically fix me if I would talk about it, even though none of the dozens before them ever did. So, no, I am not interested in therapy at this point.

In my personal opinion, I dislike therapists more than my symptoms :shock: . I've been through therapists when I was just a child do to stressed from being my dad personal therapist test subject ( my dad was major in studied in therapist / child psychology) I swear never again falllen in to those idiotic traps of stress they've put me through I actually started developing the mild stress blacking out symptoms everytime I have to l listen to them talk , or they're pushing me to reliving my horrible events. Basically I just fallen as sleep . Which sounding more awful than it actually is but hopefully they will have take me more serious the next time I see them ( or I'll say that the next ambulance trip is on them) But the best way to stop them on poking the wrong spot and string you along . You might need to do major research on your own therapist first. The idea of everybody want to talk about them self work both ways. Therapist are mostly skeptic on their patients, silently judgmental ( some even loundly judmental) , and deep down very narcissistic. If you know more about them than they know about you , you might have a chance on controlling your conversation better. Be brutally honest , all personal problem fully resolved before stepping in to session. basically give them no chance of detouring.
 
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Re: famous TV doctor denies fibromyalgia to e

I only now need to find the courage to leave my house.....:sad:

I couldn't leave my place for a few years too and was fully agoraphobic , but then 2 months ago Bam! I've Got kicked out of my apartment by my landlord ( rent rising too high) now I'm homeless, but surprisingly pretty happy about the fact that I'm out in the world. I completely forgot about my a few years of fear that had kept me trapped in the one bed room apartment all those times. I'm not saying that getting kick out would automatically cure you of agoraphobia, but when limited the options to a certain logic , sometimes our brain might processing differently than we expected.
 
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