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New member
Jul 24, 2013
Hi Everyone,

First off, I live with FMS, I don't SUFFER from it... I am generally not a complainer, I generally just stuff my feelings of inadequacies, guilt, pain, etc... Why do I stuff them? Well, my family isn't very supportive, and I find it easier to stuff them then to talk about how I am feeling. I feel like they just roll there eyes and think "oh well, here she goes again".

I live in AZ, the humidity is relatively low, but we are in Monsoon Season now, and the humidity is very high. I am miserable (this is NOT my general attitude). I am being held prisoner right now by my pain, and my stomach issues. My husband can only concentrate on me missing work AGAIN... he is frustrated, and (in my opinion, on the verge of emotional abusive) and is withholding love and affection. He doesn't understand so he will pick up the laundry right near me and let out a heavy sigh so as to make sure I am aware of his frustration. He talks about all the other house work that needs to be done, (which isn't much) which is never a problem until I have a flare up. Then, when I do have a flare up... I become totally depressed. I am not in a good place right now.

We have been married 20 years ago this past May. It is hard for me to keep a job. I work only part time, but even this is proving to be too much. I am thinking about finally applying for disability but I am afraid they will just shun me the way my husband does. Nobody in my family really takes time to accept and understand this. I have this, I am not being lazy. So why do people go out of their way to make me feel worse about the situation?

I came here for support, I have no family. I don't know what to do. Mentally I am in a worse place than I was about 5 days ago when this flare started. I mean, I'm not suicidal or anything. I am just laying here, prisoner of my pain, losing my self worth and identity, this is not who I am! I force myself to get up and go to the pool to do a little bit of activity everyday. I pass my beautiful crafting/scrap booking area that is sitting vacant because I have Osteo Arthritis in my hands and they are hurting.

So, anyhow, Thanks for listening, I'm sorry for being such a whiner, as, you will see as time goes on, This is NOT who I am. Fibromyalgia does NOT define me.
Welcome to the forum. You seem to be very lonely and in need of friends who understand you, so I am glad you found us. I hope you hang around and post often. I am falling asleep at my keyboard, I am so tired, so I will talk to you more later. :)
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