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New member
Jul 30, 2016
I went to the doctors monday with my dad, with him there she actually seemed to listen to me.

She actually had the cheek to question why i havent told her ive been feeling this way. I was just like yes i have. Plus my doctors got a letter over a month ago from my therapist to add to my file, saying that i was suicidal. Just arghhh! Sometimes!

So then she wouldnt give my medicine until my dad agreed to look after it - i swear, doctors, dont ever help in the way you want or need. I was just like ive never come close to overdosing , and my fixation is with knives and sharp objects. But she wouldnt listen, and dad and i dont mind him looking after my pills.

Anyway, she gave me some of an antianxiety drug called citalopram, 10mg, dropped my amitriptyline to 10 mg from 20mg and gave me more tramadol.

Dad says hes noticed a real difference in my mood and that since the antianxiety. He also said i made it better round the supermarket today (although it was agony and i think i may flare bad cause of it tomorrow.) I havent had many more suicidal thoughs so maybe it is helping. I am findinf myself less wound up, now that i think about it.

Dropping the amitriptyline was a mistake though. Had trouble sleeping since and been in crippling pain in the mornings. Im hoping with a slight adjustment, all will be well.

My boyfriends been fantastic this past week. More understanding and helping so much. Hes been through the wars too, in agony and doctors still not saying why. Its been a tough week for us both in terms of pain, although in terms of mood and getting on, quite good.

Hopinf things are changinf for the better now.
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