Fibro pain flair and circumstances

[Faustina]

I Have suffered with Fibromyalgia for decades. My mother died in April of this year. I was.
Her full time caregiver by the grace of God.
Recently Began to suffer a pain flair which is hampering me. It feels like fascia/nerve/ bone pain and has been tender at surface and yet very deep feeling too. I even feel that I had heat in my hands radiating.
My mamma was my lifelong companion and my sole financial support since I got sick young and was denied social security disability numerous times, though very ill especially in the early years. Now, I don't qualify for anything. I have no income, and am stressed, and grieving. I don't know what to do.
I also have a brother who is 61, not married and no children. He is not financially responsible and he is on disability due to numerous physical health issues. He will be scheduled soon for a rotator cuff surgery which I will have to help him recover from.
I just don't know what to do.
My pain, my finances, etc...
I have no insurance, no valid proof of lack of income, etc....
Any suggestions? What can I do?

 

[sunkacola]

@Faustina I see that you are in the US, in Alabama. There are many programs for people who are low to no income in this country. Not just federal, but state and local programs as well. You may not have to show "proof" of lack of income (how the heck would one prove no income, anyway? so I hope no one asks you to). Just showing your bank account balances would be enough. (You can black out the account numbers!)

There are also sliding scale clinics in most states and cities. I did a quick search and in Alabama there are programs that help to subsidize medicaid and other programs for low income people. You just have to search and make phone calls. If the first place you call doesn't help you, ask them who else to call and keep going like that until you find some help. It's out there....but unfortunately they don't always make it easy to get, and you have to do the work. Start calling tomorrow and don't stop until you have found help. You can even search online for assistance with finding assistance. In some places there are agencies or non-profit groups who are set up to help people to find the assistance they need.

 

[Faustina]

Thanks. I am actually pretty aware of my area and have already checked out a lot, but in Alabama only mothers and dependant children or those over age 62 or on social security disability with a very low income can get SSI. Also, even our county board of health requires certain documents for proof of income or lack thereof. I guess I will have to keep searching. Mainly what I need are letters from two different physicians to state that I am permanently disabled in order to be exempt from property tax. It would be a crime to lose a paid for house due to no funds for property tax. I cannot be exempt from that in this county until I turn 65. Invisible illnesses have radically affected my life.

 

[MissNeverWell]

I Have suffered with Fibromyalgia for decades. My mother died in April of this year. I was.
Her full time caregiver by the grace of God.
Recently Began to suffer a pain flair which is hampering me. It feels like fascia/nerve/ bone pain and has been tender at surface and yet very deep feeling too. I even feel that I had heat in my hands radiating.
My mamma was my lifelong companion and my sole financial support since I got sick young and was denied social security disability numerous times, though very ill especially in the early years. Now, I don't qualify for anything. I have no income, and am stressed, and grieving. I don't know what to do.
I also have a brother who is 61, not married and no children. He is not financially responsible and he is on disability due to numerous physical health issues. He will be scheduled soon for a rotator cuff surgery which I will have to help him recover from.
I just don't know what to do.
My pain, my finances, etc...
I have no insurance, no valid proof of lack of income, etc....
Any suggestions? What can I do?

My heart-felt condolences on the death of your mother; I can relate to the long-term strain of caregiving for a parent. We can never fully prepare for the death of a loved one, however imminent. As I'm sure you well know, It's not surprising that you are having a fibromyalgia flare-up in light of the grieving, financial and housing stresses, and upcoming new caregiver role for your brother. That burning, nerve and bone pain takes all the good out of you. It depletes you of the energy you need to deal with the other crises in your life.

Based on your avatar of the Divine Mercy, I surmise that one of your strongest coping resources is faith and the power of prayer, and I will contribute my own Divine Mercy Novena prayers on your behalf. As you mention in another post, you have been proactive in researching resources (or lack thereof) and eligibility criteria in your area, which adds to the distress and sense of helplessness/self-efficacy. It sounds as if legal advocacy for your disability rights is in order, given the formidable institutional barriers you face combined with the reduced stamina and resilience caused by the fibromyalgia flare-up and grief.

This may be one time in your life when you have to say no to meeting the caregiving needs of your brother, given that you have to take care of yourself and address your own survival needs right now, whereas your brother already has access to income support for disability. As a result, my guess would be that he would have recourse to home supports for disabled people recovering from surgery. Given your life circumstances at this time, you may not have the physical or emotional resources to take on the role of caregiver or rescuer. If there are dysfunctional family dynamics at play, it's important that you don't fall prey to an overburdening sense of guilt, and encroachment on your boundaries.

As I live in Canada, I am unfamiliar with American social service and disability policies/resources (except the awareness of the Americans with Disabilities Act). However, here in Ontario, initial and subsequent denial of programs, especially income supports, is routine, and applicants are subjected to the stress of reviews and tribunals and fighting for their rights. That's why legal advocacy for those with low-income and disabilities might be the back-up you need right now.

 

[Faustina]

Thank you for your compassionate response to my post. It has been so many years since I worked, that I don't even have enough work quarters left to even apply for any benefits now.
My brother won't support himself. He refuses. He has an advantage plan and won't qualify for any home help. His disability check is barely enough to prevent him for qualifying for Ssi/Medicaid. That's our government for you.
Yes, Jesus and The Faith is my anchor ️ to keep me alive.