Fibromyalgia - a thief in the night

[SamsonsMom]

Fibromyalgia has stolen my life. I have lost my ability to work, then my home and my car during bankruptcy and now my ability to live alone so I sleep in my sisters dining room. In addition to Fibro, I also have Hidradenitis Suppurativa, Extreme Hypothyroidism (thanks to the graves disease which developed as a byproduct of a CT Scan with contrast during diagnosis which then required the destruction of my thyroid), peripheral neuropathy, a sleep disorder which is still in the diagnosis stage, and the list goes on and on. The one common denominator is that 99% of my problems are autoimmune related.

The one bright light for me is that I do have a blind sister who was willing to take me in, even if it is her dining room. She does everything she can for me and I try to help her as much as possible about getting around town since I can still drive on occasion.

My baby Samson is really suffering through all of this. He is my Old English Sheepdog. He went from having a 1/3 of an acre to run in to living in a small apartment with no place to exercise and a mom who cant really do much to get him out. I did set up a website tonight on gofundme to see if can raise money to get a mobility scooter so that i can get out with him to take him for walks. I tried to get one through my insurance but so far they keep denying me. He is the love of my life. During this process I had to put my female to sleep, Delilah, due to a rare blood disorder. Samson misses her terribly.

My mental ability to cope is getting really thin. I have been struggling now for over 2 years, been to 14 different specialists in 2 states, including UVA Medical Center and Wake Forest Baptist Medical, with little to no answers. They are so non-chalant when they tell you what is wrong and that their is really nothing that can be done, with what seems little to no regard that basically they are telling you that life as you knew it has disappeared.

** sorry, but fundraising/advertising links were removed as per terms and conditions **

I apologize for the rant but I am just so OVER being sick all the time and just want some semblance of my life back.

 

[1sweed]

SamsonsMom,
Welcome to the forum. I can feel the hurt and pain in your words and know how it is too lose everything. You have a wonderful sister who has taken you in and is trying to help you by giving you a home. Are there any neighbors that might be able to walk your dog for you? Would you be able to do work online on a daily basis? Do you have any hobbies or things left that could be sold on consignment that would give you some small amounts of money? Sometimes we need to think outside the box and invent ways to make money that can improve our well-being and self-esteem.

Please join in around the forum and ask questions and provide answers for others posts. Just taking part in a supportive forum can lift you out of depression and get your brain focused on many ways to improve our life in positive ways. You might even find some new coping skills along the way. Read day 7 of my blog. I wish you the best of luck.

 

[wander_n_wonder]

That's really one of the sad things about fibromyalgia. You simply learn to accept the fact that you cannot live life independently anymore. It's difficult to have the symptoms when you live alone. It's always best to live with relatives or at least people who can help you in case the symptoms become really unbearable.

 

[lottelein511]

I stopped in my tracks when I read the title of your post. I so often refer to fibromyalgia as a thief. I was diagnosed in 1992. Through two decades of suffering (and unsuccessfully finding pain control), I lost my beloved teaching career (had to retire early) and thus thousands of dollars; I lost a beautiful long-time relationship; I lost friends; I lost my beloved farm; I lost my ability to travel, which I used to enjoy extensively. Well, I could go on, but I'm sure many of you can relate.
I have thankfully found a medical expert who is just great at helping me with the pain, but I have to drive almost two hours there and back for appointments. This week there was a mix-up with my prescription and I am in agony: I have not slept for more than an hour a night for four days. I hope to get this straightened out on Monday (it's Friday night now). The problem is, when I have a pain spike I fall into a gigantic pity party, dwelling on the things I've lost, comparing my situation to those of my friends (all of whom happen to be health nuts, wealthy, fulfilled, and in terrific marriages). Rationally I know that is just the stupidest turn in the road to make, but I work myself into a black hole of depression -- sometimes almost scaring myself.
So tonight I thought I'd try to share in this forum to interrupt the depressing thoughts and obsession with pain and loss, and I thank whoever reads this from the bottom of my heart.

 

[Trellum]

SamsonsMom! I feel so sorry to read you are going tru this, but you must rest assured that you are not alone in this at all, we are all here and don't mind at all to read your rants! This is what this forum is for; so you can rant and take all you want off your chest! So please don't hesitate to do so in the future. Best of luck with your fund raising!

As for the doctors, I can totally relate to the way you feel about them. Most of the time doctors are so heartless and when they just don't know what is wrong they just say that nothing can be done. Actually that's a red flag and a clear sign that doctor doesn't really know what he is doing or he just doesn't want to take the effort to actually try and figure things out. I know because so far I have seen countless specialists and they all failed me.

You just need to find the right doctor. I found mine, but he lives in NY, so I'm trying to save to go see him. Best of luck with everything!