APreston
New member
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2014
- Messages
- 6
- Reason
- DX FIBRO
- Diagnosis
- 07/2010
- Country
- CA
- State
- ON
Hi there,
I am just wondering if anyone else has had their health issues affect their marriage? I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer in 2008. Had 3 surgeries and several RAI treatments at high doses due to the aggressiveness of my cancer. I have had way too many CT scans in the past 5 years. I have now developed other health issues since my thyroid was removed; fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, Chronic Fatigue, IBS, and depression. I am unable to work at all, still cant get through the day without sleeping in the afternoons, suffer from widespread chronic pain and I am just at a loss as to what to do about it. I am trying everything I can think of...change of diet, seeing a naturopath, chiropractor, massage therapist, physio, etc...but this is all very expensive and being on disability I cant go as often as I should. I cant afford to join a gym or YMCA so I generally only walk every day and stretch as exercise. I have gained weight I cant lose no matter what I do. I am trying to deal with all of this. But this has all affected my marriage. My husband now feels that we never do anything or go anywhere. He does go out quite a bit without me, and we do get together with friends and family, but he wants to go out more frequently and I cant give him more. He feels like because I am home all day, I should be able to just go out every night and take care of everything around the house...I WISH I COULD! We used to go dancing every week, we went out with friends often, just enjoyed life. I feel inadequate as a wife and person overall...cant work to financially contribute, cant do all the things I used to, and now I cant seem to do enough to make my husband happy. I get his side...he is bored and wants to go out. He does these things quite a bit...every long weekend he leaves me at home alone and goes cottaging with our friends. I cant go every time as I get sore sleeping in an uncomfortable bed and cant do the things everyone else does while we are there...I have never said not to go, but I wish that sometimes he would at least want to stay home with me on some of the holidays. I just don't know what to do about it. Maybe I am selfish and should not care that I am home all the time by myself. If I could go out and enjoy myself I would do it more often. I go to make him happy but its always a late night (getting home at 1:00 am and being the one to drive us home so he can drink and have fun). I told him that maybe if we did things that I enjoyed and didn't have to be out so late I would maybe go out more, but just feel so tired after being out so long. We have started counselling, but doesn't seem to be doing much...he just makes light of our situation and doesn't say much other than he is tired of sitting at home all the time. I don't know if I am asking too much or if he just doesn't understand what I am going through. Can anyone here relate to what I am going through and any idea how to work through these things?
I am just wondering if anyone else has had their health issues affect their marriage? I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer in 2008. Had 3 surgeries and several RAI treatments at high doses due to the aggressiveness of my cancer. I have had way too many CT scans in the past 5 years. I have now developed other health issues since my thyroid was removed; fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, Chronic Fatigue, IBS, and depression. I am unable to work at all, still cant get through the day without sleeping in the afternoons, suffer from widespread chronic pain and I am just at a loss as to what to do about it. I am trying everything I can think of...change of diet, seeing a naturopath, chiropractor, massage therapist, physio, etc...but this is all very expensive and being on disability I cant go as often as I should. I cant afford to join a gym or YMCA so I generally only walk every day and stretch as exercise. I have gained weight I cant lose no matter what I do. I am trying to deal with all of this. But this has all affected my marriage. My husband now feels that we never do anything or go anywhere. He does go out quite a bit without me, and we do get together with friends and family, but he wants to go out more frequently and I cant give him more. He feels like because I am home all day, I should be able to just go out every night and take care of everything around the house...I WISH I COULD! We used to go dancing every week, we went out with friends often, just enjoyed life. I feel inadequate as a wife and person overall...cant work to financially contribute, cant do all the things I used to, and now I cant seem to do enough to make my husband happy. I get his side...he is bored and wants to go out. He does these things quite a bit...every long weekend he leaves me at home alone and goes cottaging with our friends. I cant go every time as I get sore sleeping in an uncomfortable bed and cant do the things everyone else does while we are there...I have never said not to go, but I wish that sometimes he would at least want to stay home with me on some of the holidays. I just don't know what to do about it. Maybe I am selfish and should not care that I am home all the time by myself. If I could go out and enjoy myself I would do it more often. I go to make him happy but its always a late night (getting home at 1:00 am and being the one to drive us home so he can drink and have fun). I told him that maybe if we did things that I enjoyed and didn't have to be out so late I would maybe go out more, but just feel so tired after being out so long. We have started counselling, but doesn't seem to be doing much...he just makes light of our situation and doesn't say much other than he is tired of sitting at home all the time. I don't know if I am asking too much or if he just doesn't understand what I am going through. Can anyone here relate to what I am going through and any idea how to work through these things?