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New member
Sep 26, 2014
Hi everybody, I am new to this group. I am in so much pain right now because of a pulled shoulder muscle. I got a new job and this is probably what did it. I want to scream, to cry, to hit things with pillows but it hurts.
So my muscle relaxer wear off and finally I am not depressed anymore. But, I discover, I am in hords of pain and I cant move around without feeling like I want to die! Well so I take a bath. I rub Epsom Salt with Lavender onto my back (barely able to reach) (Lavender was the only one available) So here I am, with my new black and orange kitten meowing loudly MEOW MEOW MEOW! By the door, like let me out, I am trapped! But no, I continue with my patting of the salts into my skin. Exhaling, praying. Hoping for relief.
Then, as if perturbed by the smell of the lavender, she comes running full speed ahead, catapulting herself into the bathtub with me! She has never taken a bath yet, and she freaks out and here I am, moving so slowly as to try not to die from the quick pain, but I get her out quickly. Then I dry off end up chasing her all over the house because I think, essential oils can be toxic to cats. (I wasn't thinking earlier) So after I've screamed a bit and cried, because I cant bend over to get her and she's running under the bed, to the corners, in the closet, I scream more and begin crying, yelling, because of all that I am angry about. My mother, this awful town, etc. Finally I get her and throw her back in the bath again and she's fiery mad, angry, hissing. I feel so bad, because I cant soothe her very well bending over but I comfort her when I grab her little body out of the water.
She wont let me touch her. She's wet and running again and finally I catch her, towel her off to see if she still smells of lavender.
I don't think she does. She sits above my window above my bed with sunshine pouring all over her and I say, "Taking a sunbath, huh?" Her beautiful eyes give me a dirty look about the word BATH. I just shake my head. She eyes my ice bag (the peas) I am laying on and I tell her no more peas for you. Even though they are in her kitten food.
I hate FIBROMYALGIA! It has flared up and is trying to ruin my life again. It is so hard to live with/like this. I just want to be normal. I just left a support group because it was spiritual in nature and they supported abusive type personalities and people who were saying they wanted to go around killing people and giving them diseases and other awful things. (to people on the board) They supported the abusers more than the abuse because of the belief that they thought if they stopped them from hurting others the abuse would stop. What about the people who've already been damaged by people like those? Yeah, I told them they should have two separate boards and that people recovering from abuse shouldn't be around that type of nasty behavior. People who've suffered from abuse often wind up worse than their abusers.
I was a member for a year. Ahh well. Sigh. I can't be around negativity or hate sometimes because it triggers me. I have PTSD and fibromyalgia and that's just the start. I mean I'm ok but sometimes people's stupidity makes me hate the world. If it wasn't for my cats and daughter I don't know what I'd do.
I try to make the most out of life but sometimes I just want to complain! It seems nobody these days cares anymore, least of all about your personal problems. Everybody's got a wall up bigger than the wall of China, and with the condition I am in today I cant do any climbing. LOL. Maybe my cat will check things out for me first. If my cat don't like you, you gots to go!
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