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terbaer

Senior member
Joined
Apr 3, 2014
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430
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DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
10/2010
Country
US
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WA
I am home from work again. Today it's a colitis flare-up, fatigue and headache. I had put in my name on a job that sounded like it would be kind of fun and would be at a new agency. I think I'm ready to leave. Some other circumstances have made it very painful for me to work there. I am a budget manager now and really hadn't wanted to do it, but ended up there three years ago after the agency went through budget cuts. Long story short, the past 4-6 months have been horrible. I have been suffering from between 2-5 different flare symptoms related to fibro, chronic fatigue, colitis, anxiety, foggy brain, and headaches almost constantly. Thank goodness I have a fairly new boss who, although is very hard working (workaholic), has been very understanding of my health issues.

I received news from my neurologist that my headaches, neck, back, hips and feet pain are caused from severe stenosis and arthritis in my neck and spine. Basically, nothing magical to make me feel better. I had pretty much decided that I would likely be going the path of disability. I have one appointment left with the universities pain specialists in July, but not sure I hold out much hope. I was home Monday, same song different day, and had a message on my cel phone. I didn't notice until evening. So I listen to the message and sure enough, the job I thought would be fun, I'm asked if I want to interview.

I don't know if any of you believe this or not, but I do....I believe we are led and that when things happen, there is a reason. I decided to accept the interview. As I have told my family, I know I can't continue where I am. My boss knows it and I know it. Maybe a less stressful environment would make a difference. Stress is a huge trigger! If the man upstairs is opening a door, I will walk through it. If the door ends up being a dead end, I turn around and go back to my original direction. I'm scared, but I'm not. I'm scared of failing. I'm scared of getting that job. I'm scared of not getting that job. I'm going to continue on the journey and see where it leads me. My interview is next Wednesday, then I'm taking off with my husband and daughter for a sunny getaway before we meet up with family on the 9th for a aunt/uncle/cousin family reunion. My boss didn't want me to take the entire 2 weeks off so I'll fly back (extra cost) on Sunday and work for two days, then ride with my parents to meet up with my hubby.

I have faith that somehow, some way, wherever my journey is to go, it'll be okay. I had a mild heart attack in October, but my heart truly is healthy from what the doctors say. It was a muscle spasm, I believe due to stress. And even though I'm going through all of the flare-ups and fatigue, I'm a very healthy person (if that makes sense). I'm loved, I have a beautiful home (that could use a deep cleaning), I have sweet and adorable pets (a rescue horse named Gracie, 5 goofy but friendly chickens, 3 loving cats and a golden retriever who is my constant shadow), and a mini cooper that is a hoot to drive! My estranged son still breaks my heart, but I have faith he and I will work through whatever issues are causing him anger toward me.

If I'm offered the job, I'll be honest about my health, and will likely take it depending on their reaction. I'm not worried about my abilities to do the job. I have the skills, experience and personality to do well there. It's whether I can be reliable.

I know I've rambled on and on, and if you were interested enough to finish reading it. Thank you. Cross your fingers on July 2nd....We'll see if that is the next path in my journey of life....:lol:
 

Trellum

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Messages
1,788
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DX FIBRO
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04/2011
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Best of luck, sweeties. Btw, I know the feeling... sometimes I just think similar things like: ''I'm afraid I fail x test'', but then ''I'm not afraid if I don't pass, maybe it's for a good reason''. It's like I'm unable to make decisions right now. Right now I'm really fearing something, a part of me wants everything to be ok, but another one feels like accepting and feel in peace if things turn out differently. Not even sure I know what I really feel, but I do believe I'm getting somewhere. I blame this on the uncertainty that this disease makes people feel.

Anyways, please keep us posted and best of luck! If it makes you feel better, my mom says that whatever is meant to happen will happen :) So I pray you get what is the best for you.
 

terbaer

Senior member
Joined
Apr 3, 2014
Messages
430
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
10/2010
Country
US
State
WA
Thank you Trellum for your support and kind words. I agree with your mom. I will keep you posted...... :)
 

Trellum

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1,788
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DX FIBRO
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04/2011
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Yes, please do! Actually her words make me feel at ease, because makes me understand that there are things I just can't stop from happening or visce versa! That in my opinion does offer some relief and peace of mind. Specially when I'm not able to think clearly, just like I am now.
 

terbaer

Senior member
Joined
Apr 3, 2014
Messages
430
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
10/2010
Country
US
State
WA
I hear ya Girlfriend! Today is the first day in weeks that I have only a slight headache. I'm scrambling around the house trying to get as much done as I possibly can before I'm hit again. I know, I'll probably overdo, but if I don't, it'll be months again before I catch up on laundry, pick up and clean house! So my clothes are almost all washed, but now I have loads to fold! LOL.....I think the thought that things really do happen for a reason keeps me sane.... :)
 

terbaer

Senior member
Joined
Apr 3, 2014
Messages
430
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
10/2010
Country
US
State
WA
Made it to work today. It was only part of a day, but felt like forever. I have my interview tomorrow.....We'll see what happens!....So much is going through my mind....the main one is, if offered the job, could I do it? Guess only time will tell whether I need to ask myself that question.... :)
 

mariposa

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Just wondering how this went for you yesterday, terbaer... I hope you'll update!

I definitely believe in things happening for a reason. I've seen it proven too many times to not believe in it.
 

Trellum

Legendary member
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
1,788
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
04/2011
Country
NL
State
NL
Made it to work today. It was only part of a day, but felt like forever. I have my interview tomorrow.....We'll see what happens!....So much is going through my mind....the main one is, if offered the job, could I do it? Guess only time will tell whether I need to ask myself that question.... :)

OMG! How did it go?! Did you get it?! Whatever was meant to be happened, rest assured that's the way it is girlie ;) I hope the best for you happened! Whether you really wanted the job or not! I remember some years ago when I had an interview, I wasn't sure whether I wanted it or not, that feeling is so familiar ;-)
 

terbaer

Senior member
Joined
Apr 3, 2014
Messages
430
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
10/2010
Country
US
State
WA
So I haven't heard back yet on the job. They told me it would be a couple of weeks. It sounded amazing and way less stressful. It sounds flexible with no hard and fast deadlines. Basically deal with people and build relationships. I'm nervous, but excited too.....I will definitely keep you all posted. Thanks for the support! :)
 

mariposa

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00/0000
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So I haven't heard back yet on the job. They told me it would be a couple of weeks. It sounded amazing and way less stressful.

That is one of the things in life I hate most... having to WAIT for things like this! I'm not a very patient person. :smile: It sounds like a great opportunity and I hope you'll have good news about it soon!
 

terbaer

Senior member
Joined
Apr 3, 2014
Messages
430
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
10/2010
Country
US
State
WA
Thank you Mariposa! I know, I'm not good at waiting either. I just keep telling myself, a day at a time and whatever is meant to be will happen. I did the best I could. I felt good about it so, who knows. It's been open since January. They haven't found the right person yet. Cross those fingers and toes!.... :)
 

wander_n_wonder

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You just have to focus on the fact that you do need a job. You can't just stay at home forever always feeling sick. A job will help you get distracted from the pain and also keep you feeling productive and give you a sense of achievement. If you think positive during an interview, I'm sure you will get it. Employers can easily see lack of confidence, so make sure you don't act this way when coming in for an interview.
 

Trellum

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Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
1,788
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
04/2011
Country
NL
State
NL
So I haven't heard back yet on the job. They told me it would be a couple of weeks. It sounded amazing and way less stressful. It sounds flexible with no hard and fast deadlines. Basically deal with people and build relationships. I'm nervous, but excited too.....I will definitely keep you all posted. Thanks for the support! :)

Awesome! That job sounds awesome, girlie! I hope you get it! I've always dreamed of a job like that, everything is good for me as long as it isn't customer service, hehehe! I'll be crossing my fingers for you, it always sucks having to wait to hear from them, but hopefully you'll hear from them soon :)
 

terbaer

Senior member
Joined
Apr 3, 2014
Messages
430
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
10/2010
Country
US
State
WA
I heard from them! I have a follow-up conference call on Friday.....We'll see.... Thank you all for thinking positive thoughts and your encouragement....I'll keep you posted after Friday's meeting....If it's meant to be, i will be....If not, I'm okay with that also.... :)
 

Trellum

Legendary member
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
1,788
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
04/2011
Country
NL
State
NL
OH MY! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!1 Sooooo happy for you! I think you were meant for that job :D! It's a super super suuuuuper good sing they want to see you again! I'm sure everything will go well :D! Sure, let us know how everything goes, you can show off your new job, hehehe ;)
 
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