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shattered

Member
Joined
Dec 20, 2013
Messages
19
Diagnosis
05/2011
Country
US
State
TX
Well, here it is three days before Christmas, and I am desperate for a little human understanding - I have my Schnauzers and Chihuahua to provide creature comfort, it does help, but it isn't the same. I swore I wouldn't do this until after Christmas, because it just doesn't seem to be in the spirit of the holidays to moan and complain, but, alas, here I am, feeling so isolated and alone.

I have fibromyalgia and chronic migraines, along with a host of lesser issues, like IBS, asthma, reflux, gastritis, dizziness, etc. I found I could no longer deny the fibro diagnosis, when I did some research on the subject and saw I had almost every symptom on the list. And believe me, I have been in denial now for a year. This winter my symptoms have been much worse than last year, so I concede to the inevitable : I have fibromyalgia.

I have been postponing telling my family, because the family members I have confided in don't seem to take it seriously. My migraines are the most debilitating aspect of my condition. I find it almost impossible to be out amongst crowds, or noise. I can't go out in the sun without coming down with a headache, so I don't get out to family gatherings, where I can't expect everyone to tone it down for me. So, I am an outcast. It seems like my family thinks I am doing this on purpose, or that I am being too cautious, or that I don't want to visit them, but that isn't the case. You know the song "I'll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams", That's my song. It really hits home.

So, here I am, trying to get the Christmas spirit going, making Christmas mini albums, listening to carols, and staring at the Christmas ornaments still in boxes, that I don't have the energy to decorate the tree with. My husband tries to help, but he's not much of a Christmas kind of guy, more of the bar-b-q and beer type.

This probably isn't much of an introduction, but I've given you the basics: I am a middle aged married female, who likes crafts. I have to watch what I eat because of my migraines - avoid the msg, gmo's, sugar, etc. I have tried every medication out there, Lyrica works best for me, along with Botox for my migraines. I chose shattered for my user name because that is the word that best describes what this illness has done to my life. But, I'm sure you all have felt the same way at some point along the way. It is nice to be able to share with others who face the same challenges, and who know what I am going through.
 
Thank you for your post, Shattered. You put into words so eloquently what I and a lot of us on this forum are probably feeling right now. It's hard when family and friends don't understand, don't believe, don't know how to deal with our illness. The frustration, isolation, loneliness, feeling like an outcast, feeling judged. I get it.

I joined the forum for the same reasons--to know I'm not alone, to have a place where people understand, to have a place I can go to "reach out and touch someone" when I can't get out of bed or have the energy to sit up and sip coffee with "in person" friends.

Christmas can be a really rough time, so I'm especially glad you reached out.

Corvid

P.S. I'm glad you've got furry friends. My pets give me so much comfort. Something about warm fur is so therapeutic!
 
Thank you Corvid for your warm and generous reply! It is nice to know others are out there who are able to understand what I am going through. I have to admit though, when I reread my post, it did sound pretty depressing! I apologize for sounding so morbid. I am usually a nicer person. I wasn't in a very good place last night. I didn't mean to post before Christmas for that exact reason. Thanks again, Corvid, and Merry Christmas to everyone!
 
I understand what your going through. Although, I don't have as many ssevere symptoms as I did in my younger years I do know how bad the headaches can be on top of everything else. I have a bit of Christmas spirit this year but was too tired to put up decorations. So no tree and no pretty lights this year or flashing lights.

When we hurt it is hard to get things done, but at least you know your not alone in managing your illness. I hope you have a Merry Christmas and that the New Year is much better for you healthwise.
And I wanted to welcome you into the forum and let you know that I look forward to reading more of your posts and I am glad you found us. The forum is filled with supportive folks that are all just trying to live the best life they can with fibro. Have a good day! :)
 
Thank you, 1sweed. I was wondering if I'd find anyone else who suffered from the headaches. I read somewhere that 30 percent of fibromyalgia sufferers have trouble with the migraines. I think it is just fibro in my head! See you back here after Christmas.
 
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