Status
Not open for further replies.
Joined
Oct 7, 2013
Messages
23
Diagnosis
02/2004
Country
US
State
Maine
I was wondering if anyone else experiences issues with Fibromyalgia when they have a cold/flu thing. I have had a cold/flu for about a week today. I have had a stuffy nose and a cough but it was controlled until yesterday. I was in so much pain all over my body I am sure from the terrible barking cough that I have. I literally can't get out of bed for very long and yesterday it wasn't out of bed for more than 2 hours. When my husband came home at 4 I was still in bed and he didn't say a freaking word to me all night or this morning. I wonder if there is anything that you guys do to help you through a cold/flu, that maybe I can try. I am not sure how I ended up with a guy that has no sympathy.
He really makes things so hard. I just feel like I try and try and he just doesn't get it. I have asked him to please do some research on Fibro and my other issue IC, when he comes back all he says is that I need to get up and move to feel better.
I just feel like I am a failure to him, and that he thinks that everytime I am say I am in pain or if I get sick I am just making it up or something.
Well any input will be greatly appreciated.
Thanks
Kirsten
 

1sweed

Moderator
Joined
Feb 4, 2013
Messages
1,956
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
01/1995
Country
US
State
PA
Kirsten,
I have not had the cold/flu thing this year, but I will tell you that anything that adds to the fibro can make life harder to deal with. Our body is already racked with pain and then we get the flu and bam we are out of the game. I usually get so weak I can not get out of bed. So just take what meds you can and rest as much as possible.

As for your husband, most men do not get it. I have seen several posts on the forum about husbands and boyfriends, and family and friends, that can make life a constant fight to get a ounce of sympathy. You are not failing him, he is failing you. Remember the for better or worse, in sickness and in health part. The reason many men seem to lack sympathy as they are scared and can not handle the idea of you having an illness. So instead of being supportive they pretend by making you feel like the failture. It is very hard for most men to deal with illness and when it is them a lot of them act like big babies.

So try to be brave and use this time to relax and pamper yourself, and maybe when the cold/flu is over you will feel much better. Glad you found us, and let us know how you are doing. Come and vent anytime. :)
 

arhgkc

New member
Joined
Jan 16, 2014
Messages
1
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
01/2007
Country
US
State
ms
I have had flu and pneumonia since Christmas. It has really took a toll on me. After all the company and Christmas mess my house is a total wreck. My husband and I are having problems from it too. He come in today suggesting I should get out and walk. He says he is just trying to help but he comes home throwing a fit because I am not feeling well. Really we didn't ask for this. I am really at the end of my rope. If it wasn't for my children I would just take my self out of this whole situation.
 

debw

Member
Joined
Jan 15, 2014
Messages
17
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
12/1998
Country
US
State
ill
Getting a cold or the flu usually causes a flare up. I've had fibromyalgia for more than 15years and my husband still doesn't get it, i have at least one day a month that I literally sleep all day and every single time i get questioned about it. 'Are you sick', what's wrong with you' The best one is when I get asked what's causing whatever ache or pain I have, every single f.......ing day. My best advice is do what you need to do to get through your day and feel better, ignore his comments the best you can. You are not a failure, you are not worthless, or lazy, or a hypochondriac. Like most of us here, you have an illness that is a living hell most days andyou need to do whatever it takes for you to get through it. I'm sorry your husband doesn't understand, you might try getting him a book aboutfibromyalgia, they have some good ones on Amazon.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Joined
Oct 7, 2013
Messages
23
Diagnosis
02/2004
Country
US
State
Maine
Thanks guys for the support it really is nice to know that I am not alone in all this crap.
 

nascarmike

Senior member
Joined
Nov 7, 2013
Messages
227
Diagnosis
06/2013
Country
US
State
rhode island
Kristen I'm a guy with fibro and I have to admit that before fibro and I became such bosom buddies I always thought of it as b.s., if it is any consolation sometimes wives don't always get it either. I'm blessed that my family is so great but most of the time my kids are more sensitive to how I feel.
 

mariposa

Senior member
Joined
Apr 19, 2013
Messages
459
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
US
State
PA
I hope today is better for you, Kirsten! I see that you wrote this five days ago, so I really hope there's been some relief by now!

That "just get up and move to feel better" happens *much* too often even after people research fibro. I just don't get it... and I'm sorry that you're dealing with this on top of everything else.

Your statement "I just feel like I am a failure to him"... I so strongly disagree with that. You're not the one who's failing here.
 

wander_n_wonder

Active member
Joined
Sep 16, 2013
Messages
74
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
PH
State
Manila
I can imagine how difficult it is to deal with flu at the same time. Fibromyalgia alone is difficult to handle and you feel a lot of discomfort already.

Have you ever discussed your condition with your husband? I mean, does he really understand all the details? I think he didn't talk to you because he got the impression that you are just being lazy by staying in bed until 4pm. If only he understands the situation better, he probably won't react that way.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top