Hi I’m new…

[Donna3501]

Hi.. I’ve had fibromyalgia for what seems ‘forever’. As I age (68), it has become worse. One of my biggest concerns is how I’ve now started to “anticipate “a bad day and how this anticipatory fear is keeping me homebound. I prefer to just stay home where I know I’m safe and only go out when necessary. As my family and I prepare for vacation, I am dreading the thought of it because I fear I will not feel good and be able to keep up with everyone. Anyone else experience this?

 

[Harpy]

Hi.. I’ve had fibromyalgia for what seems ‘forever’. As I age (68), it has become worse. One of my biggest concerns is how I’ve now started to “anticipate “a bad day and how this anticipatory fear is keeping me homebound. I prefer to just stay home where I know I’m safe and only go out when necessary. As my family and I prepare for vacation, I am dreading the thought of it because I fear I will not feel good and be able to keep up with everyone. Anyone else experience this?

Hi Donna,
Good to have you to this forum, you will get some very helpful information here.
I am the same, dread going out. I love going out for a cuppa with friends but then get home and think why do I do it? But we have to, that hour of two can distract me for that short time so then gives me head a rest from thinking about the pain.
I think most of us on this forum hesitate going out for what ever reason.
Oh just thinking of holiday .
You can do it, give your time in the day to sit and recoup.

 

[sunkacola]

Hi Donna and welcome to the forum.
There are many things you can do to manage your fibromyalgia and still live a decent life. If you have not already done so I urge you to read the post I made on this topic.

I never hesitate to make plans. What I do instead is make sure that everyone involved knows that I have a chronic pain condition that may prevent my going through with them. People who are not OK with this have not stayed in my life and my real friends understand and are OK with this.

Dreading going out and anticipating bad days can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The best approach I have found is that I plan ahead, pace myself and pay attention to my energy levels. For instance, if I am planning to go out later in the day to see friends I don't clean my house that day, but only do small things. I don't sit around because that can make my energy drop, but I don't use up all my day's worth of energy either. And if it turns out I don't feel I can do it when the time comes I call and make my apologies and do not feel bad about it because I did my best.

I think of it like a battery that doesn't take a full charge most days. I think about how much battery I will need to do a certain thing and then do my best to reserve that much and to get as much charge as possible with sleep and good food. And then I cross my fingers, because sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn't. But if I were to stay home all the time because that is safer it would be depressing and would make me feel helpless, so I do my best to live as normal a life as possible.

Here are some ideas for things you can do that may make a big difference in how you feel and how much energy you have.
And, we are glad you found this forum. I hope it will be useful to you. We're here to support each other.

My advice for managing fibromyalgia (especially for newcomers)

I am not a doctor or anything, just a person who has lived with fibromyalgia for several years now and has done a lot of research and trial and error experimentation. What follows is just basics. There are a lot of variations. You will find your own versions of everything I say, as this is not a...

www.fibromyalgiaforums.org

 

[Donna3501]

Thank you for your wonderful words of help and encouragement. I will take it to heart!!

 

[Donna3501]

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I appreciate it

 

[JayCS]

I can no longer go on vacation. I don't dread it, I just can't.
My wife's planning me to go with her to a birthday party 20 car minutes away from us soon.
Today even hearing people talk is too much for me. It's not mental stress or anxiety or dreading anything, nothing that's expected of me. So same for that party. Her workaround is for me to take a taxi back home when I'm "finished". The way things are going that will be after 5 minutes, if at all. This again is not something I'm dreading. It's simply a fact. I've long got most of my anxiety down using mindfulness, relaxation (NSDR is my fave), radical acceptance (ACT). If she forces me to go, I will *. But I won't hide anything and I'll keep away from people, so I don't see the sense. You can take a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. If I did "drink" I'd "puke" for at least a week and I'm already "puking" enough as it is. Tried table tennis today, first time after over a week - managed 2 games, but pain and exhaustion came up after 3 minutes, quickly realized: no talking, hardly moving, backlash OK. My mate got all excited when he thought he could play sideway balls, cos I wasn't even thinking of trying to get them, but he kept then hitting them too far sideways, so still lost the first game, but the second game energy was even less... Now a long rest and a bit of gardening for the rest of the day...
(To put table tennis in perspective: My wife yesterday asked: Oh, you didn't manage any table tennis today? Then you can't come to the shops with me for 10 minutes? (plus 2x10' there and back). I said: I'll try, as long as I don't need to talk... Didn't talk. 2-3h of rest necessary.)
* Edit: We broke even: She needs her time alone, too.