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i may post in the new mem post when i get to it

venting sometimes no matter the acceptance helps

I have severe fibromyalgia they are now saying whole life along with chronic fatigue and pain

pain is my life pain is all i have known

i had a few years of mild symptoms and freedom till late 20s

i worked over 100 jobs because adhd

i kept security and alarm response for 3 or so years

i traveled a highway to work

i was hit by a drunk while helping a breakdown lucky it was just door and mirror

i saw to much you die inside

i saw a 9 year old try to shoot me and the cop i was with beaten women dirt trash

like tar it just wont was clean

then the accidents no description and to nasty to say stuff medical books say are not possible

you dont know the value of life till you hold it in your hand and feel deaths cold grip rip it away

me and death have done a waltz my whole life feel it holding hands and taking

then spins and wraps like a python around you

i have been told i should have been dead or died to much to count jobs and mostly meds

i was on methadone for pain and the doc started to high

all i remember was going to bed then black

my wife found me next mourn with just enough runnin to keep me alive

i woke in the er lots of nurses and a doc and the coldest crap that makes you scream being pumped through you

i learned early to appreciate and see life differently

but i lost it all towards my 30s all ripped away fibromyalgia and other problems commin on hard and fast

my lower back is destroyed from the life and accidents

then came 3 accidents two very severe

my fist was minor but set off bad foot pain

the second was a highway 60mph sideswiped accident

we got spun 5 feet

that did more to my back and all over pain

and i was finished by a rear end

we were sittin waiting for a person to turn

when a kid hit us from behind doing 40mph never braked

i felt my lower back rip

im a quit person i will smile till i pass out a gift from ADHD and martial arts o boy its still there but adhd higher tolerance and martial arts not focused on but there

the made me cuss and make more noise then i have ever given a er the pleasure of hearing

and now i watch as my life is ripped from me i refuse i fight i walk i do everything

yet it goes and goes

i have to wear special boots made for swat teams over a inch thing insole plus special absorbing heal etc

i can walk a store on a good day only if i wear those i use to do less than half before

so whats the problem

my ankles calf's i walk for ever and it never makes them stronger

every time i always push to hard because i refuse to take it

omg if i walk a store to much i do that for exercise and shopping

my ankles and a little above man i sit screaming in the car for 20 min

it never builds up strength they say water water wont do crap about that if they wont get stronger

so now i watch i have a porch of tools i cant use

i know how to rebuild engines mowers cars my dad and school taught me everything about a house

my adhd i can you tube and fix it like our washer 5 min of you tube and fixed it

now i pay for what i know how to fix because i cant anymore

and if its a emergency and i do fix i can be laid up in agony that only people on this site can imagine

just last week hey taillight out im not paying for that

a week and a half or more and my shoulders are still sore

not normal fibro behavior maybe maybe some on this site have same

i went to a rheumatologist they said not arthritis but definitely fibr and others from birth that may be a first dont know

i cant describe the anger the rage to see those tools

to see all repairs house and care being paid for taken from me i bypassed a frozen compressor on a car s 2 shops said cant help others said have to tear it out

well its our only car so i looked close i cut the belt and 3 belts later i did what was claimed couldn't be dont

put me out a week but the wife got her car

im looking at 10 or so years of mobility with how out of hand and down hill its going

fibro and my lower back

you just dont know how pissed and just wanting to beat something it gets

i cant even do a taillight

not to mention how much i pay when i have u know what

i fight till it drops me i screw up and pust to fix things if im going im going kicking and screaming really loud

i refuse to sit and wallow i refuse to sit unless i have to

i have the fibro chronic everything and sleep apnea everything scream and tells i dont want to move everything screams lethargic and like tied down o no not havvin it i jump from chairs like i was bitten

the wife asked once why do you fly so fast out of bed because honey if i dont i wont

theres nothing left no docs no meds

im on cancer patches on my arms and oxy and now possibly anti inflammatory and muscle relaxants

since the rheumatologist found nothing now its my normal doc all other specialists have said cant do anymore

o forgot i got a gland in my brain dying and calcifying migraines i have passed out from a few times

i just saw a new neurologist and he finally said every med and option has been tried in my lifetime

just the pills for huge ones headaches everyday sometimes higher

i run out of my emergency migraine meds before refile time

so im loosing everything a good day is a 10 on there scale but i refuse to give to the pain and stop moving

and it just makes it worse all these special dos saying your screwed

just need to vent scream protest disobey faith and cuss and why do you punish me

false promises of no more than we can handle

you just pull it back together hid it apologize to him and try to see good and gifts given

my wife shelter food etc so hard to clearly see or focus on the positive

she always asks how can i listen to the same songs infinitely and so loud

my music is my sanity my escape my distraction for the mind to focus somewhere other than the hell of life

well thanks sorry and sorry i have very severe learning typing and others i see it but it wont come out or type wright so dont complain about my lack of skill or not being a perfect typing God your lucky if its spelled right
 

cinderr

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Quite moving. Did Lance Armstrong say Pain is temporary? He never had fibro! We have the pain but we don't give in to it; we are strong in a way others cannot understand and they make fun of fibro, a make believe disease, for lazy people. Unrelenting pain; a way of life. Sorry for your pain, sorry for mine, as well.
 
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thanks and i hope relief finds you more often

moving i will always fight till i cant i refuse fibro and other stuff controlling me even though every year every trauma speeds it up

its confusing at time i never read so far of fibro shutting you down like mine it may also be my back but my boots put my back at ease

its ankles and that area wont respond and build up like there supposed to

my meds make me over weight by 100 or so i cant win scared confused all i know is fight

my wife made me start pain meds but i refuse high doses offered me i want clarity

ever heard of er drug delodid my er used to give me 3 shots man my head the freedom i could thing focus the works they say thats from living in shock

i dont know sometimes if i want to see whats coming if every month or so i loose more

all forms and areas of the medical field have said nothing left my normal doc restricts and watches closely but give me pain killer relaxant anti inflam etc

i got in a fight posting in the pot post oops they dont like truth of me

pot is for cancer and dying otherwise i call to anyone's face cop out

i can live with my hell lupus and a person i new had lupus and fibro and she was before the new lupus meds

lots worse that dont take easy way out

thanks for caring and posting have a great weekend wishes for better days
 

rollinloud

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This has to be a troll. Why can't you type in complete sentences in paragraph form? Is that so hard?
 

twiztc

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This has to be a troll. Why can't you type in complete sentences in paragraph form? Is that so hard?
Yes for some people sentence structure is difficult. I myself, who was always very good at written English, at times struggle especially if having a very bad day. I would have thought people in here would have had more understanding and compassion.
 
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o and didnt engage you on this and sorry i forgot you were in the other post

“Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever. That surrender, even the smallest act of giving up, stays with me. So when I feel like quitting, I ask myself, which would I rather live with?”


Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.
Lance Armstrong

those are two many versions somewhere is the original un chopped i found once

and yes he never had fibro and cheated with drugs but the words drive my life the word match fibro

in fibro the more we sit the more we sit complain and refuse to fight the more it wins

another part not true to pain suffering people it never well maybe it does subside its what you think the definition of subside is

i subside to me lessons its a close call but i have learned the more i quit the more i focus the more it wins

so many suffering people dont realize the power of the mind and the power of focus and centering the power of distraction

my wife asks all the time you have a bad migraine why is the stereo so loud because my mind cant lock on or focus on the pain

my suffering is horrible if i let it take over i would be committed and sedated

but i focus music i focus the good the fun in life i focus on life the beauty around me anything but whats going on

o boy its still there it still breaks through or i make it mad by pushing and it come through but teaching the mind its in the back or some are so good with martial arts they tech the mind its pleasure the pain is not around i wish i was that good

but i broke my hand at work i still drove a stick shift dump truck with my broken shifting hand i had to pull the bed release wit that hand

then at noon the boss caught me it was softball size sent me to doc had to st and wait for anti inflam drugs made small enough

to work with doc said it needs pinned you cant take me setting it i said set it he asked nurse for pain i said no drugs so he set i wow a pop and grind

that was pain and fun a nurse passed out once aligned put a cast on

im not bragging even though it sounds like it its a example of the power of focus

i didnt see the room the people i saw else where good times thats why im at the end the strongest they can give but me and my doc dont want the highest dosages

not being acting tough thinking of what it will do to nerves and other body systems

another pain secret i am of faith no major gun ho or even as much as i should but i imagine his suffering beatings being hung God turning his back

i thing or caner horrible bone and other where they do have to heavily sedate them i think of a Australian lady cursed with lupus and fibro

and lupus before the new meds that slow the body destroying itself its unimaginable it gives me strength courage and trying to have more compassion than i show

the final rhumatoligist really put that point in view right wrong

he said all pain disorders or the brain the mind in some way or another sending it to the brain or in some cases the braine gets confused and translates wrong and sends pain

that goes to martial arts Buddhist the masters over sees

a person i look up to said the master over seas who taught him said what you want fighting for to hurt yes he said the master said hurting is easy healing is not


“Try to find the path of least resistance and use it without harming others. Live with integrity and morality, not only with people but with all beings.”
Steven Seagal
 
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o rollinloud

i have responded to much to you in the past so just this

your and others are sad petty people to worry about my typing posting and not being a grammar queen

so focused you dont see the point dont see the words dont see or ask the reasons or see who is inside

troll sad name calling i forgive and still love and pray you and other closed minded empty having to pick everything apart

you just need love I shouldn't even respond this much to such petty responses

i hope you all have a wonderful life and may your physical and mental agony and agony of being empty be less
 

cinderr

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It's almost poetic, though, isn't it? It just poured out of him and much of it was unpleasant but maybe he feels better for it.
A little of this goes a long way with me, too. I think the nasty reply was unnecessary on his part and the troll thing was unnecessary on yours. I think I'm done with this small forum of one! How about you?
Except---I would like "I'm new" to realize he is not the only person who suffers. Everyone on this forum suffers and his pain is no greater or less greater than ours. Be kind to one another!
 
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It's almost poetic, though, isn't it? It just poured out of him and much of it was unpleasant but maybe he feels better for it.
A little of this goes a long way with me, too. I think the nasty reply was unnecessary on his part and the troll thing was unnecessary on yours. I think I'm done with this small forum of one! How about you?
Except---I would like "I'm new" to realize he is not the only person who suffers. Everyone on this forum suffers and his pain is no greater or less greater than ours. Be kind to one another!


yea i agree and sorry the forum and you had to go through it childish meaning less couldn't agree more

look at most responses or ignores

i got yelled at by the admins for hitting report post to much

i got told by admin he did nothing

i got told by admin its my own fault because i dont have posting skills

i lost count of forums i came above it and my problems

i have personal problems i wont give anyone the privileged of knowing

i lost it another site blaming me another site like that poster saying its me

another site agreeing with the rudeness

i used to fight all the time and even when not that bad of a fight and worse than troll and other crap said

i was banned it was my fault i didnt start it i gave warning to stop

i should have never come back if the admin refuses to help

but the admin on a bad day set a fire i haven't had for a long time

set off the petty childish acting that solves nothing and is no use

try to be outcast on the web since i started using it

try that and worse in life

try that festering sore hole being poked and poked and when im dumb enough to list my problems

issues omg playing with the tigers is nicer and less tearing you up

so excuse me when admins blame my lack of skills the old comes out

and now more childish then ever how much damage and posts before making that poster happy and banning me

it so sad disability sites that judge or like here fight over who hurts more or less

discussions turn to fights because i post two things on pot

i thought forums was support help a place to get support and comfort by knowing your not alone and all that crap

now we me and that member its a mess war everywhere

but that dont hide the underlying problem of judging hating you have no right to oppose or have opinions and so much more

this site is destroyed before me before that poster

that poster and admin just prove the little bow you dont fit our box you cant be here

i held out all i could i used every proper channel and steps supposed to be taken and i got in trouble

let me see if i got it

Hello,



I noticed you’ve been reporting a lot of posts and wanted to touch base directly.



It’s difficult to say who’s right or wrong but I have noticed that you don’t take the time to write in complete sentences, and you do sometimes antagonize the other users.


We’re all here to be productive, supportive and helpful.



I wanted to ask if you could rise up and be the better man and perhaps consider trying to come across more friendly and try to communicate better so that things are mistaken, etc.


wow lies supportive

helpful

i noticed you dont take time etc

its a border letter but not seeing anything wrong and im not posting right

i will not stand for admin that supports chaos or let the forum go where it has

yes support but also pissing contests over whose worse whose right and who cannot give a opinion

so hey i over did dont care a ban would be heaven and give that member what they want a fight and banned

troll you want a fight i refuse go the steps ok now its time to go out big
 

twiztc

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it just sounds like to me other people dont want to take the time to actually read. yes your writing style takes a little longer to absorb but if you give it a little extra time you can get the general gist of what you are trying to say.
Like you say, the idea of these forums is so people in pain don't feel so alone. what is the point of them if someone is ostracized just because they have a language difficulty.
would these people say the same to an autistic child because they cant communicate "normally" would they say "that kid cant talk in proper sentences so lets not talk to them at all"!
this kind of attitude is appalling
My Nanny used to tell us as children, if you dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything. so if someone doesn't like , or finds it too difficult to read your posts just move on, you dont have to comment with ridicule or derision , just move along. leave it to those who will take the time and comment with reasonable politeness if nothing else.
 
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thank you so much i wish it was that way but now i gave in and posted wrong

and gave in to my anger

i have extreme rage disorder somewhat controlled
till this this time i was so bad at walking away i dont really know other than loosing it at admins

i walked away i didnt and wasn't going to come back for a while

i know my past i know how that spot of my life burns and that treatment enrages so a few polite posts log off

but then i got ignorant admin post 3rd site or so blaming me telling me about report buttons telling they see nothing wrong with that users post

well sorry to you i said privately i was walking off sorry for lying

but i snapped i have yet to completely control over ignorant admins doing that i followed the rules the steps wven my step and part i was logged off and not planning on returning maybe never

so sorry dont cut it

my fate is sealed with the forum and admins forums even if not banned dont forgive this crap

and when i was a kid they said your stupid lazy and the school said shut up and quit acting up and threw me in the closet with no light till i behaved

so i should be used to abuse but never changes

i should know never to try forums but i keep trying for some contact im my life i drive everything in my life away a song matches so well eventually everything good goes away

and yes i know the next person you bring it on yourself acting this way

well do you like people calling fibro and others lazy and on and on we all deal with our demons differently

thanks twiztc for talking and understanding have a good one
 

1sweed

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Feb 4, 2013
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I have read through all that you have said. I understand that your pain is very bad and you are here looking for some help in that regard. We only ask that you avoid swearing and demeaning replies to other peoples comments. As a general rule we try very hard to help our members and offer ideas and hints to help, not offend others.

Sometimes things can be said in a well meaning way, but are taken in the wrong way. This forum is about building friendships as in fibro friends who understand each other do to the fact we are all suffering from the same illness. I would like to suggest that you read the topics on pain management and read many of the back posts which offer many ways other folks have dealt with pain management and ways that have helped them.

This forum is used by adults, as well as, younger children and we respect that commintment to keeping the forum safe and civil, in regards to all who visit here. I hope you can tame down your anger and speech so that you can fit in with the way this forum is run. Thanks for allowing us to try and provide you with some fibro coping skills. :)
 

Trellum

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o rollinloud

i have responded to much to you in the past so just this

your and others are sad petty people to worry about my typing posting and not being a grammar queen

so focused you dont see the point dont see the words dont see or ask the reasons or see who is inside

troll sad name calling i forgive and still love and pray you and other closed minded empty having to pick everything apart

you just need love I shouldn't even respond this much to such petty responses

i hope you all have a wonderful life and may your physical and mental agony and agony of being empty be less

Well said, bro! Not everyone out there is worried about proper punctuation and grammar, I actually dislike people who often judge others over things like this.

I was very touched when I finished reading your story, I'm also strugglnig with health issues, it's sad you gotta go tru things like this before you really start appreciate life and how good it was to be able to live a normal life. Makes me regret of all those times I was in bad mood or worried over nothing.

I wish you the best of luck, and thanks for sharing!
 
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