How are your kids doing with it?

Status
Not open for further replies.

atuckerit

Member
Joined
Sep 11, 2014
Messages
28
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
01/2007
Country
US
State
WI
My kids sometimes complain that I don't want to go places or do certain things on my bad pain days. It makes me feel depressed and guilty, like I am a bad mother or something. How do your kids react to your fibro, and does it make you worse hearing the complaining from them?
 

TipBill

Senior member
Joined
Sep 8, 2014
Messages
224
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
03/2014
Country
US
State
None
At least your kids want something to do with you. My grown daughter is ALWAYS to busy to do anything with me.
 

SickMama5

New member
Joined
Sep 16, 2014
Messages
6
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
09/2006
Country
US
State
kansas
i have 5 kids ages 3-13 and the younger ones still complain. i dont feel guilty much anymore, its just the way it is. we have learned where and where works best for us to do things. the older kids have realized that they need to help sometimes and also learned to figure some things out. Like going to extra school or church activities, finding a friends parent who can give them a ride, etc. what ages r your kids?
 

SickMama5

New member
Joined
Sep 16, 2014
Messages
6
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
09/2006
Country
US
State
kansas
that seemed a little to easy. sorry. i did used to feel really guilty. i always loved baseball n wanted my boys to play but sitting in the sun n heat makes me sick... same goes for soccer. def no shade at any soccer field! having friends over rarely happens unless my hubby is home. the plus or blessing of it all... im not a crazy mom eunning all my kids all over town to diff things, when we do something special its usually just as a family. i think we r closer because of it.
u will eventually know all the parks that have plenty of places to sit n shade. which sports u can tolerate.my favorite it band! LOL always a comfortable seat at concerts.
i hope u find some encouragement that u and the kids will eventually adjust and they will survive even if they dont get to do EVERYTHING and maybe evwn b better because of it.
 

Trellum

Legendary member
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
1,788
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
04/2011
Country
NL
State
NL
So sorry to hear you feel this way, but an important part of learning to live with fibro is learning how to deal with that kind of feelings. Guilt was one of my biggest issues, but it no longer is (not as much as before at least), because now I understand there are things I can and can't do! Isn't my choice, so I shouldn't feel guilty!
 

GemmaRowlands

Active member
Joined
Jul 29, 2013
Messages
86
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
UK
State
Merseyside
It can be very difficult to get children to understand any health condition, particularly if they had been used to playing and going out in the past with the parent that has the condition. It's important that they are still able to spend quality time with both parents, but if you have fibromyalgia you will have to adapt a little, and focus on things like reading the bedtime story, or watching a DVD with your child after school, or even helping with their homework. The parent who is well can deal with the physical things, and the tiring days out that children like to go on, without it meaning that you are not able to spend any time with your child at all. There are certainly ways and means in which you can deal with this, so it is definitely worth looking into.
 

Mowmow

Active member
Joined
Aug 31, 2014
Messages
30
Reason
Other
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
US
State
NY
My kids are all small. I have 3 boys all under 4 years old. Honestly, I can't keep up with them. I am having a hard time potty training the oldest one, he, for the life of me, refuses to go to the potty or toilet! Sometimes midday, I just want to cry. I feel so tired, but I make sure they are well treated. They are fed, cleaned and watched at all times. I do not want to take any risks with them because they are my life. Many nights I go to bed at 5 or 6 am because of the baby or my oldest refusing to sleep, then I have to wake up 2-3 hours later with the baby and my middle son getting up for the day. I am dragging myself keeping the house clean, doing laundry and running after them. I do feel like a bad mother often, because everyone says I should be happy, I am still young and with 3 beautiful boys. I am not happy, but I wouldn't trade my children or my hardships for anything. I just wish I wasn't in pain all the time, that bending down or sitting on the floor wasn't such a hassle. I wish I had more energy so I could run around all day and play with them.
 

MrsWolf

New member
Joined
Jun 11, 2014
Messages
8
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
09/2014
Country
SE
State
stockholm
Only last summer i was able to play football in the garden with my 9 year old son, and it was great, no aches or pains during or after playing, now i can dream about doing that again! If i do anything strenuous i pay for it the next day and more. The same when im making a cake with my 5 year old, when i have to stir the mixture, the lactic i feel in my arm is unreal, i have to start stop start stop, i get so frustrated. Luckily i have kids that understand that mommy hurts sometimes and cant do everything that she used to.

Maybe there is a silver lining in this, i can ask my husband to buy me a kitchenaid mixer!
 

joshua minaya

Member
Joined
Aug 20, 2014
Messages
20
Reason
Other
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
US
State
CA
Personally i don't think you should feel bad about your self in anyway as a matter of fact it may also be a good idea to try to explain to your kids that you are not a bad mum. If you do i tell you your kids might just begin to reason with you. Most children this days are quite intelligent and to your greatest surprise they may just be more understanding than you really give them credit for that is the truth of the matter but if you continue to feel guilty to yourself without at least making an effort to letting them understand then it will certainly not be all that good if you ask me.
 

Melissast

Member
Joined
Apr 21, 2013
Messages
19
Diagnosis
08/2000
Country
US
State
Oklahoma
I have a one year old and she dose not understand that her mother feels bad some times. We still do things. I set out on the porch and watch her play, read her books, watch videos together. She seems ok with it because its how I've always been as far as she knows. Though sometimes she dose get mad that I don't go out with her more. My husbands the one with the problem he gripes at me saying don't you want to do something with your kid, or he says how I must not really care about what she wants. He makes me feel guilty.
 

Longlongmeri

New member
Joined
Sep 20, 2014
Messages
4
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
08/2012
Country
US
State
Utah
I have a 9 yr old and a 5 yr old. I started feeling the effects of fibro after my oldest child's traumatic birth. Honestly? They have no idea I suffer. My husband is super active, so he is the one that takes them out biking and scooters. I am the one that cuddles , reads, plays games, and watches movies. I think they have always seen us in these roles and don't question.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top