how can i make them understand?

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taxi_tammy

New member
Joined
Jun 5, 2014
Messages
5
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
07/2000
Country
US
State
ky
I just don't know what to do or say to the most important ppl in my life that are deciding to tell me that I am giving up and I need to fight harder.... I have got to make myself do it and yadda yadda yadda..... I know all of this.... I was diagnosed 14 yrs ago now, on top of it all I am having back trouble with my back and my spine and someone is deciding to let me know that it is my fault that I am letting it get me down and happen..... it is hard for me to get up and do what I have to do on a daily basis like laundry dinner dishes..... but bc I cant get up and go all the time anymore,,,, I am helping it get worse..... I just want scream..... really?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
 

mariposa

Senior member
Joined
Apr 19, 2013
Messages
459
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
US
State
PA
I just don't know what to do or say to the most important ppl in my life that are deciding to tell me that I am giving up and I need to fight harder.... I have got to make myself do it and yadda yadda yadda..... I know all of this.... I was diagnosed 14 yrs ago now

Hey Tammy... and welcome to the forum. I guess the first thing I'd say is to remember that most of the time, people in our lives haven't a clue what to say or what's right or wrong to say. While hearing "fight harder" may sound like "this is your fault, you're not trying!" to the person in pain, it may actually be the other person's way of saying "I can't stand seeing you in so much pain... please fight with all your might to get this monster under control."

So yeah, sometimes it's in the perception.

If the other people just don't seem to "get it" (not getting it isn't the same as knowing it's there and telling you to fight it) then I've heard people say that finding a good web site for the family/friends that explains fibro has helped. Probably a good idea to make that a medical site like WebMD, though, and not just an individual's blog.
 

links56

Distinguished member
Joined
Oct 29, 2013
Messages
177
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
01/2013
Country
US
State
IL
No matter what I do or say it seems the closest people to me will never understand... Its unfortunate, but they hove no clue what this is like. They wake up every morning feeling good. I have asked my friends to their faces for help and they think i'm just being lazy. All I can say is try to explain it to them and tell them how many of us are suffering every day.
 

Trellum

Legendary member
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
1,788
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
04/2011
Country
NL
State
NL
I understand your frustration an rest assured you are entitled to those feelings. I also feel that way when people tells me is in my mind, but you have to understand they might never truly understand, unless they get to go thru the same you are going thru. I learnt this the hard way, so the best we can do is to accept this and try to cope the best we can.
 

trayne91

Distinguished member
Joined
Oct 30, 2013
Messages
154
Diagnosis
10/2013
Country
US
State
Wisconsin
I don't know how to make anyone understand. I agree that until they go through it themselves, they just won't get it. A lot of times my family says they didn't know I was hurting today. I hurt every day. I know I've said that 1000 times. I am sure they all care about you very much as do my family. They just don't know what it's like. Try to remember they are clueless in it all and are just trying to help.
 
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