How do you come to terms with your fibro?

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Tigressa

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Mar 24, 2014
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DX FIBRO
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GE
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Berlin
Many here are most likely frustrated with the ways their chronic problems are affecting their life. None of us want to feel like we are less worth than 'healthy' individuals. At the same time there comes the time when it's necessary to accept our illness and somehow learn to be ok with it. It's easier said than done though. How are you guys dealing with it? Do you have a lot of support from your friends or significant others?
 

Raven

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Feb 9, 2014
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DX FIBRO
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01/2014
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US
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NM
I'm total crap at coming to terms with my fibro. I keep trying to fight it or find that 'one' thing that will make it all okay. You would think that after a decade I would learn to accept. The only acceptance I've found is that I'm going to have good days and bad days. I relish the good and whine through the bad. I guess my problem is that I don't want to be sick and let others down. It frustrates me to no end. So I fight instead of accepting. I guess my only advice is to keep pushing through one day at a time and to do the best you can do. My mother would also say to take care of yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally. Good advice if you can do it. Good luck!
 

Trellum

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I don't get a lot support from my boyfriend, and that often breaks my heart, because I always try to support him and make him feel better, but sometimes it seems he gets too overwhelmed and forgets about me. Just when we thought I was pregnant. I rarely talk about my issues with him, unless it's something important, like the surgery I might be having soon... to ''repair'' a hiatal hernia.

My mom supports me as much as she can tho. She is amazing! She sometimes complain a bit, but I understand her. She just feels sad to hear her daughter who is much younger than her is so sick... I heard hiatal hernias are very common about people over 50... I'm just 27. I guess I'm plain unlucky!

Right now I try to be my own support system :) As much as possible at least... being able to talk about this over here helps a lot too. So does talking with my best friend and distract myself writing or watching TV :)
 

Takedon

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My best friend (who has fibro) gets a lot of support from me and his family. We have always helped him to overcome his pains.
 

1sweed

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01/1995
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Pennsylvania
I just deal with it the best way I can and do the things I need to get done at a slower pace. Like don't sweat the small stuff and try and enjoy my good days and rest on the bad. I realized without a cure it was necessary to take care and slow down, and grit my teeth and keep moving on the best way that I can. :)
 

Takedon

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Your happiness depends on the friends a lot. If you have a lot of people around you, you will definitely feel better.
 

terbaer

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Apr 3, 2014
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DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
10/2010
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Washington
I am 49 years old and have always been in good health until about 5 years ago. Don't get me wrong, I've always had back pain. I've ridden horses growing up. Played sports (hard) as a teenager. I played volleyball and softball until about 6 or 7 years ago. We go to the dunes, in a motorhome now, rather than tent, and ride quads. My health has deteriorated a lot in the last 5 years. I have insomnia. I have chronic fatigue, constant pain, headaches and migraines now. I developed lymphocytic colitis and IBS two years ago. In October I had a minor heart attack and developed severe anxiety (which I'd never had before).....That was the eye opener for me. I have felt guilty for missing work, which I didn't used to do as much. I used to have tons of leave. Well, I realized life's too short. I have a lot of decisions to make. One, what to do about work. I don't feel its fair to be a manager and miss so much work, but my health is unreliable.

My husband, who seemed indifferent a few years back, has finally gotten it over the past couple of years. He's my biggest supporter. The man is very unorganized and doesn't see clutter so it's been a challenge, but he's trying. I keep telling him we need to hire someone. I also need to cut back on my work hours. We haven't figured out yet what to do, but we're at least talking.

My son was still living with us and just got a permanent job a few months back. I went to talk with him about moving out and he blew up at me. I didn't even get to talk about it with him. I ended up just telling him to leave. It was devastating. I don't think he understands or believes I have a health condition. He's 25, and has always been a good guy, but had some health issues when he was a kid. He said I'm crazy but couldn't articulate what I'm crazy about....Broke my heart.

I'm finding that some of my closest friends are not around as much and that hurts. I'm starting to have deep conversations with them. I've accepted (painfully) that if they drift away, then I have to keep moving forward because this is my life now. When we go to the dunes, my unorganized husband has had to pack our food and other things, and there are times I don't get to ride my quad.

Don't sweat the small stuff and take life a day at a time. If you don't feel like doing anything, then don't feel bad. I still have days when I want to cry and get frustrated when I'm so fatigued and tired that I can't open my eyes, but I can't sleep. If I didn't have to work, it would be easier and less stressful, but alas, we haven't won the lotto yet..... Day at a time.... :)
 

Takedon

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My friend always tries to keep calm and concentrate. The pain doesn't go away like this but he feels it a little bit less (I don't know why, but it simply works). We also try to support him as much as we can.
 

catlady

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Apr 1, 2014
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Undiagnosed
Diagnosis
11/2010
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CA
State
Manitoba
I agree with Raven. Very hard to come to terms when your life is falling apart. I was also very fit and active, but 5yrs ago I had an injury
. Tried all types of therepy, but no relief and was told to just live with it. I take Tramadol 100 mg a day for last 2yrs.
Drugs and I do not agree with each other, can't take anything because of my job, I am fuzzy enough as it is, Work has become less
, takes a few days to recover for every day worked. The pain and spasms are a constant. Sometimes my body and brain don't communicate
But i do endever to carry on for now. The one thing that hurts more is being dismissed by Dr and family. So now I say nothing, just fine thank you
Although I have one hope for in June I see a Doctor who has been specializing in fibromyalgia. Fingers crossed
 

Hedonologist

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DX FIBRO
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hedon
I think others will agree that "you just do". Over time you think about it less and less, you make do with it more and more and with any luck, you learn your own triggers and avoid them. Unfortunately you often don't have a choice in the matter and just have to come to terms with it, as harsh as that sounds.
 

Indianagal

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I am much older than most on this site. I didn't get diagnosed with fibro until I was 57. I am 60 now and I suppose I have accepted the fact that this fibro is part of my life now. I sure didn't think I would ever be like this at the age of 60. Some days I feel like a very old woman...and that pains me alot. Even though my husband is so very supportive I still feel like I am a burden at times to him. I even have had thoughts of asking him for a divorce so he won't be burdened. Maybe it would be better for me to go into assisted living alone. I hate being dependent on others..especially the people I love the most. Does anyone else feel this way about their life?
 

Indianagal

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I just looked at my post and have to say even though the thought has crossed my mind of asking my spouse for a divorce....I would never ever do that. He is a wonderful man and loves me dearly and I love him so very much. It does bother me to be somewhat dependent on him. I think I was having a very bad day yesterday. Feeling more positive today. I am going to see my rheumatologist on Friday...my second visit. I am hoping he can hopefully offer a different treatment, one that will make me feel better.
 

terbaer

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Joined
Apr 3, 2014
Messages
428
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
10/2010
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US
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Washington
Indianagel, I read your post from yesterday and am so glad you updated it today. I worried about your idea of divorcing your spouse because of what you're going through. If you truly went forward with that, then the illness wins and you lose, what sounds like, a wonderful man.

We are all in need of a pity party once in a while. Just be sure you don't act while you're in a bad state. I have felt the same to some degree because my husband works to play. That's his motto. However, that said, he has become my rock and we have never been closer. He tries to keep up the house and has really stepped up the parental role. It took me a while to appreciate it, rather than feel guilty. While the idea of my income being significantly reduced because I'm not sure if I will be able to continue to work full-time, scares the crap out of both of us, we're talking about it. We've come a long way as a couple due to the illness. That's my positive spin on how this illness has affected me.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Hang in there and use this forum as a tool in your coping toolbox.....8)
 

Takedon

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The family has helped my friend a lot. When I say family, I mean the close people, including the friends. We have helped him a lot and we've tried to make him jump over these obstacles.
 
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