How do you cope?

tiffanymarie316

New member
Joined
Mar 1, 2021
Messages
1
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
02/2021
Country
US
State
CA
I was diagnosed with fibro last month after 6 years of struggling with symptoms (since I was 15). I had thought that finally with a diagnosis, I would find clarity and successful, straightforward treatment. As soon as I was diagnosed, the first thing I did was try to learn more about the condition, but it feels like there's not much to learn besides "there's a bunch of symptoms and it sucks and often doctors won't take you seriously and maybe it's in your head!".

I've already struggled with depression and anxiety, and I feel like it's just my luck to end up with a condition that has next to no answers. This knowledge has drastically affected my mental health that has been holding on by a thread for so long. I feel so lost. I've lost so much of who I am. I can hardly manage my relationships and my husband just seems so tired of it all too.

I always told myself that if I wasn't thin or pretty, at least I was physically strong. When I lost my strength to this illness, at least I was smart. Now, I struggle with cognitive symptoms and I've lost that too. I don't know how to stay positive anymore.

For those of you who have managed this for a while, how do you do this? Does it get better?
 

james192

Member
Joined
Jan 10, 2020
Messages
19
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
03/1999
Country
CA
State
AB
man is adaptable, so we do get used to it.
 

james192

Member
Joined
Jan 10, 2020
Messages
19
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
03/1999
Country
CA
State
AB
i tried to post this and the clock ran out, so the attachment didn't want to write it again.
 

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Member
Joined
Mar 3, 2021
Messages
14
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
03/2020
Country
AU
State
SA
I am sorry for you, and understand you want to know if it will be better? You can have medications what help more easy the pain, but unfortunately it will never goes away, sometimes you have a better days and sometimes it is very hard. You need antidepressant that help to your symptoms as well. I get Cymbalta (and lot of different medication) because Fibro is only one of my serious illness. I hope you find a very good doctor who can help you a lot.
 

sunkacola

Very helpful member
Joined
Dec 2, 2016
Messages
1,341
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
Uni
State
Somewhere
Hi tiffanymarie.....First, you actually are pretty, if your icon is a photo of you. And thinness is overrated! As for smart, just having a few cognitive issues doesn't destroy intelligence, so you are still smart. You just have a few problems. Lots of smart people do.

Next, take heart. You can and will adapt. Thousands of us have, and you can too. We will be here to support you if you want. Read the post on advice that is pinned at the top of the General forum, and start implementing as many of those things as you possibly can. Leading the most healthy lifestyle you can is the best defense from fibromyalgia, and has the best chance of mitigating your symptoms.

As for depression and anxiety, I know those two very well, have had them all my life. Even so, I have adapted to fibro and you can too. You will still be strong! It's just a different kind of strength, more inner than outer, which is actually more important and more admirable. You can do this.
 

Dusty1957

Active member
Joined
Dec 26, 2020
Messages
38
Reason
DX CP
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
US
State
WI
Tiffany, I feel for you. We are all here to help you cope. I finally got a doctor that recognized mine, but yes, there are most doctors that don't know what to do with us. I made a mistake by going to so many doctors, like Pain Management, orthopedic etc and in hindsight, they really did not care. I worked in a hospital and also a pharmacy tech. and I actually knew more than the pain management did. I suffered with chronic pain for months with other things also, and could not get any relief. Everyone is different and I had to be my own doctor. Educating myself, doing small exercises at first, and lots of prayers. The depression irritates me though, prozac used to work, but now it does not, so I am still in learning phase. We do love you and you are pretty, even if your mind tells you otherwise (ha ha). I have not been out of house for over a year other than to see a doctor because of this Covaid and am waiting for Spring just to sit outside. One thing I never fail to do is--when I awake each morning, I say "Good Morning God!", while hurting and slowly walking to my coffee pot with my stroller. Mind you, I was 100% active until a few years ago, but your gut feeling and faith in God will help you thru this--and research. Bless you my child.
 

Forgetmenot

Extremely helpful member
Joined
Oct 6, 2014
Messages
1,452
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
70/2010
Country
UK
State
Hertfordshire
The simple fact is you have to adapt,and you will,it’s great you have joined us and can at least see your not alone.
I think you need to let this sink in.fibromyalgia isn’t something you can fight ,you need to live with it.Once you get that life gets a little better.
You are probably grieving for your old life . Don’t feel bad about that .
But don’t let this ruin your marriage.lots of kisses and cuddles .
 

sunkacola

Very helpful member
Joined
Dec 2, 2016
Messages
1,341
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
Uni
State
Somewhere
The simple fact is you have to adapt,and you will,it’s great you have joined us and can at least see your not alone.
I think you need to let this sink in.fibromyalgia isn’t something you can fight ,you need to live with it.Once you get that life gets a little better.
You are probably grieving for your old life . Don’t feel bad about that .
Well said, Forgetmenot!
 

Hopeful7

Member
Joined
Nov 23, 2020
Messages
14
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
05/1980
Country
CA
State
QC
Dear Tiffany,
I totally feel your pain. I’ve had had type 2 bipolar depression my whole life and fibromyalgia since I was 9. I am 50 now. One thing I have learned is not to compare myself to others and that life isn’t a competition. Some people may seem to have it easy, but you never know what someone is going through by looking at them. This disease sucks, but it varies in severity. You’ll have really good periods and really bad ones. Stress makes it worse, but that doesn’t mean it’s in your head. I believe our nervous symptoms are too active or too sensitive. We feel pain, when others wouldn’t, we itch and get tired way more easily. I am hopeful because there is a lot of research being done on fibromyalgia. I am convinced that neurotransmitters are involved....that why a lot of us have depression, anxiety, dysmorphia,...etc. You are not alone...fellow fibro sufferers totally understand and hope for the best for you. Stay strong....I know that isn’t easy. But you have to fight for your own well being, as someone else said, not all doctors are sympathetic. If you run into a doctor like that, find another one who does.
Good luck, my Dear,
Lori in Montreal
 

WhoDat83

Active member
Joined
Aug 3, 2020
Messages
49
Reason
Undiagnosed
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
US
State
LA
Tiffany,
i have been diagnosed with FM last august after years of pain that i though it was only my back.
i completely understand and feel you. even if i m 6 months ahead of you, i m still trying to learn and adapt and grieve the past.
FM sucks but we have to pray god it s not a degenerative illness. we are and will still be alive.
this is why the only thing we can do is to adapt. and i m not really the kind of person that adapts really quick. it takes time for me.
cope with every day as a new day and try to get the best out of it. some day will be more difficult than others for obvious reasons but you can do it. I agree whit Hopeful7 when she says dont compare yourself with the others. think about you and your family..but especially you..
i join this forums just to know more about FM but i found out it s very helpful and comforting sometimes. people are great and compassionate cause we are all in the same boat and the brain is the one that needs to adapt the most. and this forums will help you with that.
Who does not have FM cannot understand what we go throu, not even my wife or your husband. But this forums will and can help.
Dont fall in the tunnel of i m not pretty or smart or what...you are and will still be even with FM.
big hug
 

Shellyr44

New member
Joined
Mar 9, 2021
Messages
5
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
01/2015
Country
US
State
PR
keep a daily journal for two weeks about every thing you eat and if all of a sudden your fibromyalgia flares up after eating something. There are triggers in food that can cause flare ups. My triggers are sugar, wine, soda, if you get what I’m trying to say. If I stay away from food triggers my flare ups aren’t as bad. Fibromyalgia can cause Restless Leg Syndrome so beware of any antidepressants that can aggravate it if you possibly have RLS. Positive vibes going up for you.
 

sunkacola

Very helpful member
Joined
Dec 2, 2016
Messages
1,341
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
Uni
State
Somewhere
keep a daily journal for two weeks about every thing you eat and if all of a sudden your fibromyalgia flares up after eating something. There are triggers in food that can cause flare ups.
Good advice. Although I'd keep up the journal for more like a month if you can. Also keep in mind that the flare might not come right away, but could come the next morning or later in the day. For instance, I cannot drink wine at all, not even a half glass, because the next morning I will be in a terrible flare.
 

maavalos8

Member
Joined
Jan 23, 2021
Messages
15
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
01/2021
Country
US
I was recently diagnosed as well after having chronic pain for about 9 years. During that time I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and now live without one and constantly trying to "find" my ideal dose of thyroid meds. It all started with a horrible, horrible pain in my upper back area under my shoulder blade. Docs put me on Norco for 9 years and I became dependant so I took myself off of them.

Thought well it's a pinched nerve, suck it up Marisa. When I got my diagnosis of FM, RA and a few not so fun other autoimmune disorders, I figured well I have a name now. Nope. It made my anxiety and depression worse. I became obsessed with finding out all I could and to hear that maybe my doc threw FM at me because it was a last resort, what I read online of course, just threw me for a loop.

I'm still trying to adapt to this new normal so I can't give any advice. I'm so thankful that I found this board though and together we can support each other;)
 

Alta

Member
Joined
Mar 14, 2021
Messages
24
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
03/2015
Country
US
State
TX
This will make you stronger and more compassionate for others. I also have bipolar disorder. I take Cymbalta which helps, I also take Zolpidem to help me sleep due to a multitude of disorders or ailments. Sometimes it helps me sleep some times not. Remember that everyone is different listen to the suggestions, try the one you think will help. In the end, your own body will tell you what it needs, learn to listen to it, and do what it tells you.
 

Forgetmenot

Extremely helpful member
Joined
Oct 6, 2014
Messages
1,452
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
70/2010
Country
UK
State
Hertfordshire
I also have bi polar tape 2 .arnt we lucky 🤣
 
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