How do you deal with family thinking that you have a psychological problem and not fibromyalgia?

[araizq]

I’ve had fibromyalgia since I was 23 years old as well as TMJ but somehow I learned to deal with the pain and was able to work long hours in a very demanding job. Now that I’m retired, i feel that the flare ups are worse than ever. So I wonder if it’s more psychological than anything else.

 

[JayCS]

Hi araizq....

Your title and thread post contradict each other, so I'm confused!
But I've edited this post, as I admit I may well have missed something.

So do you perhaps mean that your family is making you doubt your diagnosis and you'd like a second opinion from us?

Doubting the diagnosis is hairy for many of us who have been "gaslighted", that's why I'm wary.

How to help people incl. ourselves understand fibromyalgia we've collected on this thread: click here.

 

[sunkacola]

@JayCS , let's give a new member the benefit of the doubt, shall we, and not make assumptions about what they are saying. Accusing someone of click-bait is unfriendly at best and could be harmful to the person at worst. Please don't jump to conclusions. I see no indication that this person is attempting to annoy anyone. Mentioning trolls and suggesting that a post be deleted is un-called-for here. Please be careful with your immediate responses to someone who is new on the forum. You don't know where they are coming from.

 

[sunkacola]

I’ve had fibromyalgia since I was 23 years old as well as TMJ but somehow I learned to deal with the pain and was able to work long hours in a very demanding job. Now that I’m retired, i feel that the flare ups are worse than ever. So I wonder if it’s more psychological than anything else.

Hello araizq, and welcome to the forum. No one knows what the origins of fibromyalgia are, but if you are experiencing worse flare ups since retiring, I wonder why that causes you to think that it is psychological in nature? Maybe if you clarify what you mean by that, we can respond to you better.

 

[30 plus years]

I raised two boys while my husband worked swing shift. I cooked, did laundry, kept the house clean. All through the pain.
Now I'm an infirm 62-year old grandma.
We do what we have to. It's NOT psychological.

 

[sunkacola]

I raised two boys while my husband worked swing shift. I cooked, did laundry, kept the house clean. All through the pain.
Now I'm an infirm 62-year old grandma.
We do what we have to. It's NOT psychological.

I also have worked at a very demanding job -- mentally, emotionally, and physically demanding -- while in extreme pain with this. Yes, you do what you have to do. That's what we all do if we have no choice.

Funny, to me, how anyone would think that a person working hard yet saying they were in pain is an indication that it was "all in their head". Seems to me that if a person were just malingering, making the whole thing up, they'd do just the opposite and refuse to work. Of course, we all know that the pain is very real. If only it were something that we were all creating with our minds, and we could simply learn to UN-create it, also with our minds. Then we'd all be pain free. Wouldn't that be nice?

 

[JayCS]

Accusing someone of click-bait is unfriendly at best and could be harmful to the person at worst. Please don't jump to conclusions.

I apologize for this to everyone, and am editing my post.

 

[sunkacola]

Your title and thread post contradict each other, so I'm confused!

Personally, I do not see any "contradiction" here.
The OP asked a question with the title, and then made a couple of statements in their post.
Maybe if the unfriendly first response that they got to their very first post on the forum has not scared them away, as it would with many people, they will be back to receive our support.

 

[lisajjm70]

It's possible that you feel worse now just because you're older than you used to be. Not only do "injuries" from years ago bother us more when we get older, but i think when you have chronic pain, it starts to wear you down. I've noticed that myself. Another possibility is that you don't have something else to focus on throughout the day (assuming you're not keeping busy as consistently as when you were working). I don't really know.....but that's just what popped into my head after reading your post.

 

[sunkacola]

It's possible that you feel worse now just because you're older than you used to be. Not only do "injuries" from years ago bother us more when we get older, but i think when you have chronic pain, it starts to wear you down. I've noticed that myself. Another possibility is that you don't have something else to focus on throughout the day (assuming you're not keeping busy as consistently as when you were working). I don't really know.....but that's just what popped into my head after reading your post.

Unfortunately, the OP has not been back to the forum since last week, possibly because their first post was greeted with an unfriendly response, so they may not get this reply from you. But it is true that as we age it can feel as if things are getting worse, and I agree with you that it is most likely caused simply by the fact that the natural aging process can cause breakdowns in our physical systems. And keeping busy where possible is also a good idea. Always helpful to have something outside ourselves to focus on.

 

[lisajjm70]

Unfortunately, the OP has not been back to the forum since last week, possibly because their first post was greeted with an unfriendly response, so they may not get this reply from you. But it is true that as we age it can feel as if things are getting worse, and I agree with you that it is most likely caused simply by the fact that the natural aging process can cause breakdowns in our physical systems. And keeping busy where possible is also a good idea. Always helpful to have something outside ourselves to focus on.

Alright, thank you lor letting me know.
Yes, aging isn't always all it's cracked up to be sometimes.