How do you get your significant other to understand fibromyalgia?

[csmith225]

I feel my husband is in complete denial of my diagnose of fibro. It surprises me because as I was attending Pain management, and going from doctor to doctor trying to find out what is wrong with me and why my neck, lower back, shooting pains here and there, feet hurt, etc. etc... He was talking to friend at work and they told him I may have fibro and he was all for it. I mean he actually looked up symptoms and everything.

Now that I've gone to the Rheumatologist and he says I have fibro, my hubby is like "We are not claiming that, you need to stop laying around focusing on your pain, if you think about it of course you're going to hurt more. You need to have happy thoughts, get out and exercise ,watch a movie, relax, Oh! wait the big one was Loose some weight! Oh yes he went there! then continue to say; why do you have all this medicine in the cabinet, there is no reason to be taking all of that, this is probably why you are hurting so much".:shock:

Then to top it off, you need to find 1 doctor to take care of everything and to find out what is wrong with you because it doesn't make sense to be taking all of these meds and still hurt the way that you do.........

All comments are welcome, please answer and tell me how do think I responded, and how would you respond? and what do you think the real problem is?:idea:

 

[TinaL]

Perhaps his reaction is due to fear. Our partners want to take care of us/help us and with Fibro they can't do anything. I know my Hubby has been working a lot of overtime lately and he told me (finally) it was because he hates to see me in pain and not be able to help me. Hope things get better for you and your hubby.

 

[fibrogal]

Wow! That's weird how he changed just like that. I agree with Tina that it may be out of fear or denial or frustration. Our husbands are wired to be fixers, and if they can't do anything about our condition, they just can't handle it.

Have you tried sitting down with him and talking your feelings out? Believe me, I know that's sometimes not an easy task. With my husband, I used to feel like I was on the defensive about my illness. I have to say that with time, he's begun to come around. I know he's frustrated b/c he wants his former wife back, so it's sad for them. It's like a loss to them, just like it is to us.

This is very difficult, and I feel your pain (literally and figuratively!). Have you tried getting him to read articles about fibro? A great book is "Fibromyalgia for Dummies." Or have him go with you to the doctor and let the doctor explain things to him about what you're going through.

Let us know how it goes, ok? I hope things get better!

 

[thupp06]

My hubby does not understand what I endure on a daily basis, he just listens to me complain and goes on unless of course he has an ache or pain he would like some sympathy for. I deal with the fibro plus thyroid issues along with heart palpitations and high blood pressure. He goes to work everyday to support us, but he thinks I do nothing all day long when I have 3 kids to raise and 5 dogs to care for, oh and cook their supper and clean up all their messes PLUS do all the errands. It's irritating so I just stay up later than everybody else so I can vent out loud with nobody around!

 

[Trellum]

Hi Csmith, I think your husband is having a hard time trying to understand you have fibro, it sounds to me he is a bit in denial. That comment of his made me believe that, sounds like he's having such a hard time trying to believe you actually have fibro. He must love you very much, he wants to believe you're not suffering from this and that everything you need is to lose some weight and be more active. My boyfriend was like that, I barely let him know what I feel anymore, just a comment here and there. I'm tired of complaining.

Just give him time, he'll get to understand you're suffering from this. It's always like that at first