How Fibro affects my day

[pattyo]

Hello,
My name is Patty. I have been battling fibro for the past 20 years. I am now 58 years old and of course, it seems to get worse with age. I have severe pain in my neck, back, hips, jaws. I also suffer from migraine headaches, light and chemical sensitivity. Depression and anxiety has also been a constant companion of mine since the age of 21. Although I am on multiple antidepressants the meds really don't seem to help and I find myself wondering if they make me feel worse.
Fibro affects every ounce of my being! Because of the pain and depression I battle, I am now on disability and unable to work a full time job. I have to push myself to get out of bed in the morning and push even harder to get things done. I was a very active women most of my life until fibro came along. There are so many things I wish I could do and I attempt to accomplish, only to find myself discouraged because I just can't do the things I used to do.
So there it is! Like you I'm sure, this disease or whatever you want to call it has affected every area of my life. Deep down I can still hear myself saying, " Your'e still here, you can make it", but in all truthfulness I find myself just wanting to give up! This feeling of defeat is what has brought me to this site. Perhaps I can glean from all of you that suffer the same pain and feelings of defeat but have chosen not to give up. I need that encouragement right now, because after trying so many things to feel better I just can't see the light at the end of my tunnel. Thanks for listening. Patty

 

[cmetryme]

Patty. I'm so sorry your in pain at these levels. We are here to support you.
We try to learn from each other here.
How do I keep going? I was at the end of my rope too.
Then my wife ask me "Don't you want to see me and your son tomorrow?"
How do you answer that question?

I wake up screaming in pain every morning.
Cry at least once a day. My average daily pain level is 5/7.
Its hard to even more my legs without pain.
I take meds that are very dangerous and can kill me with
Any dose any day!
Its hard to keep going,I understand.
I do it for my family. I do want to see my son grow up.
You can do it. Find you reason.

Learn,grow, pass on what you learn,and make informed decisions.
Quality of life is what matters.

Read the post and reply to them. When you do it helps you and others!
Your not alone and we are here for folks just like you.

Enjoy the days ahead good or bad.

 

[onward & upward]

Dearest fellow fibro sister...Desperation brought me here also. It was really hard to accept that my life had changed radically and depression with anxiety came with my physical challenges. Little steps forward and few steps back and we have the cha cha.. Be gentle with yourself dear one. Your precious, beautiful and part of this wonderful group of fibro fighters. Your not alone. I check this sight daily to set my head right for the day, it helps. Keep sharing, dont keep it all bottled up. Prayers sent your way.

 

[Loftpat]

Sometimes I wish there was a like button on here similar to Facebook. Onward and upward, I embrace your lovely reply. And I echo the message, Patty. Be kind to yourself. Embrace the victories, however small they may seem. Your life may be different, but that doesn't mean it can't be fulfilling. I know that's tough to see sometimes where the world seems blue and black. Hugs.

 

[nascarmike]

It is a battle but you don't fight it alone. Mind set is 90% of my battle maybe more. Be kind to yourself and please post here whenever you need to. Someone will see it and reply. Good luck...Mike

 

[Forgetmenot]

Welcome patty, u have come to a lovely warm friendly site and were more then happy to help u through your day,feel free to vent cry shout or just have a good old moan .you will always get a reply x

 

[pattyo]

Thank you for your reply. I tend to forget the good things in life. I have a wonderful husband and 2 sons aged 25 & 23, and I do want to see how their lives unfold. Thanks for the reminder. Patty

 

[Vellybean]

Hugs Patty!

I am only 50 but also on disability pay both from work and SSDI. I have been off for many years. I use to be so active and my house was always clean as well as the fact I taught full time. Today, I managed to get out of bed. I am sitting on my couch with the tv on in the background and on here. I am still tired but forced myself to get up today. I should mention, I am getting over pneumonia too which has taken an extra zap of my energy. There are days I feel useless and like I am taking up space only. When I have these days, I make a gratitude list of all the good things I have in life. I try to be gentle, emotionally, with myself about my disease. Find something that makes you happy and hang onto it!

 

[laineyk56]

well on a good day I can get out of the house. That happens about once a week. I have been denied disability once and now I am having a 2nd hearing in front of judge with a vocational expert to voice his opinion. Judge wants to deny me but she needs more credible opinions on my limitations.

UGH Like I don't want to work....like I want to cry everyday....like I want to scream because the pain is so bad

I have GAD pretty severe and I too am on an antidepressant along with a benzo. which I know now has made me worse in my brain. So I am withdrawing from benzo (which is HELL) and then I will come off antidepressant. so all of this makes either the fibro pain worse or the fibro makes the anxiety worse.

I am 56 and this winter has been so bad that my fibro pain is almost unbareable.

my pain is mostlt in shoulder blades, neck, lower back, base of scull, feels like I am being beaten with a bat

just wanted to say you are NOT ALONE

 

[MimiL]

I have had fibro for eleven years, and I am 60 years old. Yes, some days my attitude is not the best. Someone once said to me tho that this is something that happened to you, it does not have to define who you are. I am working hard at separating the fibro from who I am. I try to push it into the back of my mind and respect what it tells me - to measure how I feel each morning and stay within those limits. To push a little, but not too much. If I don't feel like doing something, I don't. If I do, then I will. I've learned that not only pushing myself physically will cause a flare up, but also emotional stresses, positive and bad, have an effect. So I try to go to bed and get up at the same time every day, whether I feel like it or not. I try positive self talk when I hear my thoughts turn negative, in other words, I try to tell myself that others have it worse, that it WILL get better, while recognizing that this condition is something I have to accept. Yes, it hurts, yes it's constant, yes my sleep is horrible - I can't fight it, it won't go away, so I try to incorporate it into my life as best I can. I hope this helps you.

 

[pattyo]

Thanks for sharing. I know how it feels to have once been so active and now can hardly get out of bed. I was very active and now I just don't feel like doing much of anything (which makes me feel more like a blob). I compare myself to other women and see all the multiple things they are involved in and I just want to give up. Although I keep going daily, it's mostly household tasks I need to complete. By the time I'm finished with the cleaning, I am just too exhausted to do anything. My husband and I really don't have much of a social life/ He is recovering from a heart attack and triple bypass surgery. Our relationship has suffered because of my illness ( chronic fatigue leaves me little energy to even communicate with him). We are in a rut. So, I've spent enough time on my pity pot here. I just don't know where to start to improve my life. I make some strides to excercise, eat better, etc. only to become discouraged that I can't keep it up and maybe don't even want to try anymore.

 

[terbaer]

Welcome Pattyo.....I so completely understand how you feel and I'm so sorry you are going through this. I too was very active and prided myself on my accomplishments. I worked hard with a great job. I played sports and raised one 26 year old and now a 13 year old. I am going to tell you all what my counselor said to me. You HAVE to mourn the loss of who you were. You will always be that person, but you can't continue to beat yourself up that you can no longer do and keep up with what you were. Take the time to do that......mourn the loss of who you were. You then need to embrace who you are today. Find time to talk to your husband. Heck, if he's down and you are down....spend just a little time talking about where you go from here. Do not feel bad when you need to have a pity party. We all have them. Don't feel guilty because you aren't able to ______ (fill in the blank). Just let those negative, guilty, overwhelming feelings go....You'll find much more peace in your existence.

I had a heart attack at age 49 (Oct 2013). My health was not the best before that date, but it really declined after. My hubby, who just loves to go and play and has his own hobbies, has made a complete turn-about. Not that he was bad before, just neutral when it came to my illnesses. Now? He's my rock. When I'm having a bad day, he gives me permission (by his words) to just not worry about it. He works out of town 4 days a week. Sometimes I haven't even done dishes all week, but he tells me not to worry. He'll do them when he gets home. That said, when I have my few good days, I try to think of ways to do something for him. I always acknowledge his help on my bad days too. I believe we have never been better. Never communicated better. I think we'd both like me to have more energy for a little fun (if you know what I mean). It definitely happens less than it ever did, but we are more intimate than we used to be.

My point in all this? There is life after fibro, chronic fatigue, migraines, etc, etc, etc (your list is probably as long as mine). It's all in the attitude. Feel free to have your pity party. It's okay. You'll get past it and live your life, however you end up defining it. Gentle hugs.....

 

[pattyo]

Terbaer- Thanks so much for the post, it so encouraged me! I especially liked your advice to mourn who I was! I've never done that, I guess I've just tried to continue to be her with failure. I will do that! I am starting counseling next week, something I should have done long ago. I am particularly down about my health this week because I am in so much pain I can't seem to accomplish much. I need to talk to my husband about "us" regarding our relationship with my illness. He has always been supportive but I don't know how much he knows about the degree to which I suffer. I try to hide it most of the time. So again, thank-you! I will keep in touch and let you know where I'm at in these areas. Hugs to you too.

 

[terbaer]

I'm so glad to hear you're starting counseling. I think it will do wonders. One thing to keep in mind is that if you don't find one that you are completely comfortable with or don't connect with, there are more out there to try. I love mine. She is helpful and compassionate. I wish you luck with that. I'm also glad you will talk with your husband. It's only fair he know so he can be a sounding board and supporter of your needs. I will look to hearing how you are doing!