How to ask my Doctor - can I chat with one of you?

AntiZombieOwl

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Sep 3, 2022
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I wonder if anyone here would chat with me about this one on one?

I've been wondering if my every day fatigue is actually fibromyalgia, even though it feels like tiredness.

I'm trying to figure out how to ask my general family doctor to refer me to a specialist. Without getting dismissed/brushed off.

So far I've come up with an idea to tell the doctor something like, "I was talking to someone who has fibromyalgia, and she said it sounds like the symptoms of fibromyalgia. Could I explore that possibility further?"

To make that true, it would help if I actually chat with someone about it. Could I chat with one of you, about it, so that it doesn't have to be a lie?

I don't want to tell them that I figured it out on my own by searching symptoms on the internet. I shouldn't have to worry about that, but Doctors seem to not like it when you do your own research. I'm worried they'll think I'm a hypochondriac. And I've been mostly brushed off every time I complained about fatigue for years.

So I've had to try to figure it out on my own. I came to fibromyalgia, as an idea, because I realized my tiredness feels like a painful type of tiredness. Then searching this. So I don't know if it's fm, I just want to look into it.

It's A vague pain, not a sharp noticeable pain, a feeling vague enough that I think I've been mistaking it for just fatigue, but is actually fatigue and pain combined. Other symptoms are that I feel it every day, as well as oversleeping all the time, drowsiness when waking up, difficulty concentrating. I did a sleep study recently, no results. But sleep studies don't test for specific things like fibromyalgia.
 

JayCS

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to insist on the same level of respect that the guys were getting.....
Unfortunately, this kind of attitude has been around for a very, VERY long time, and still persists to this day...
A lot of it stems from where and how we are brought up - each new generation learns from the one before it... and some of the ones before seem to have a hard time accepting that women can do most things that a man can do - those are the "women should be home in the kitchen, barefoot & pregnant" ones......
Racism is alive and well, and even more scary, seems to be having a resurgence..
I guess I am more progressive than a lot in my age group, because I believe there is only one "race" in humankind..
I brought an elder family member with me to my appointment. To help me with clarifying and advocating.
I just thought it helpful to "collect" and praps deepen these vital aspects on the "how to understand someone" thread here.
 

JamieMarc

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If it were me I would simply ask my doctor if he would please refer me to an appropriate specialist. No need to bring up fibromyalgia at all. That is my story. My many doctors over the years referred me to various types of specialists until eventually, having exhausted all that with no diagnosis, I was ultimately referred to a pain management specialist where I was diagnosed with fibro. I empathize with your situation and predicament because I went through a similar experience over the course of 7 years, although I never even thought of fibro. That is the only difference. I did not really even know what fibromyalgia was until after I was diagnosed.
 

sunkacola

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@JamieMarc , my experience is similar to yours. I went around thinking "why can't they find out what's wrong and cure me?!" and was angry about it. Then at a pain clinic finally a doctor said fibromyalgia. I had to go home and look it up on the computer.
 

cookiebaker

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for me, i have a friend that has fibro, and has had her dx a long time.. she is allergic to so many things that she takes no meds for it.. she does things like massage therapy, chiropractic, dry needling, and other forms of alternative care.. so I knew what fibro was, and she & i had many discussions about it, both of us suspecting that i potentially had it as well (similarity of symptoms).. finally getting that confirmation that yes, i have fibro was both a relief and slightly depressing at the same time.. a relief to finally have that definitive dx, but depressing because there are no "cures" or easy ways out of the pain that it comes with.
but, as with everything else, I face it one day at a time.. :) tomorrow is another day
 

JamieMarc

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Yes exactly @sunkacola ! I kept asking myself the same thing and got so frustrated. Why can't all of these doctors and specialists figure out what's wrong with me and do they even care? It's so comforting to me to have all of you with similar experiences here for me as I am for you.
 

sunkacola

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Yes exactly @sunkacola ! I kept asking myself the same thing and got so frustrated. Why can't all of these doctors and specialists figure out what's wrong with me and do they even care? It's so comforting to me to have all of you with similar experiences here for me as I am for you.
Yes, it turns out that when they can't find the cause of our symptoms they toss us under the fibromyalgia umbrella. Hey...it's a lot better than nothing! At least with a name we can get together like this and support each other, and there is something to write down on documents.
But I always think that eventually, probably many years from now, they will find out that it is really a few different things. And while they are at it, maybe they will find a cure. (One can always hope)

That frustration with doctors, as awful as it is, is not all bad I think, because it drives some of us to seek answers outside of the medical community. And that sometimes brings people here, and other places where there is support and help, and possibly also to doing their own experimenting to find out what they themselves can do which will help them to manage it. That is where the frustration led me.
 
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