How to stay as positive as possible with pain and anxiety?

[mchell6789]

I'm new here. I have not been diagnosed with fibromyalgia but I have had extensive testing for what seems like everything else for the last 6 months now. Recently my primary care doctor said I may have Rheumatoid Arthritis because of a Rheumatoid factor test result of 14.3. All other inflammatory markers came back normal. I was just to see a neurologist last week and he said no it's not Rheumatoid Arthritis that 14.3 is nothing. I am thinking I may have fibromyalgia caused by extreme stress when I was taking care of my husband who had transverse myelitis at the time. And then I had a parathyroid surgery and my foot numbness burning started right after that.

I have foot neuropathy burning, elbow burning and sharp pain, finger numbness at tips, numb tingling lips and now my knees are starting to hurt also. This pain seems to be spreading. I just want to know how to stay positive? On days I am sort of able to do this I do better but some days are very very hard.

 

[sunkacola]

Hi @mchell6789 ..............Staying positive can indeed be hard.
The first thing I really want you to do is give yourself a huge amount of credit right now for even wanting to try to stay positive, and for knowing how important that is to do. this is really important and you've got that.

Second, give yourself a lot of credit also for finding this forum, and for writing in to get advice. That's really big, too.

I can tell you what worked for me, and others can tell you what worked for them, and you can try things and find out what works for you.

I started from a place years ago of being very depressed, discouraged, and angry about being in constant pain the doctors couldn't do anything about.
The first thing I had to do (You are probably well beyond this point) is realize that it was up to me and I needed to stop trying to depend on the doctors.
The next thing I did was start giving myself pats on the back and credit and telling myself "good job, well done" for just about everything under the sun. Cleaned the house? I told myself "good job!!!". Did laundry? I told myself "Well done!!!"
Sounds silly, but it helped me.

Next, I started looking around me and realizing all of the really good things in my life, so I could say something to myself like: "Well, I feel lousy, but at least I have a house to feel lousy in! I'm not feeling lousy out on the street with no place to live"

I also take great comfort in my animals. My dogs mean the world to me and being able to be with them is the greatest blessing in my life. I am so grateful for their constant presence.

And most important, I worked really hard on Radical Acceptance. I personally think this is the most important thing. What works for me is to know that there's no one truth, and no one goal you have to reach. In my experience, peace of mind can be found by fully accepting what is, in this moment.

Now, acceptance doesn't mean approval or complacency or apathy. It just means not fighting with the reality of the present moment, but accepting that this is reality. That saves a lot of energy used fighting things or saying to oneself that this "shouldn't be happening".
I have found that the degree to which I can accept the present moment is the degree to which I can have peace in that moment.

Others have found a positive outlook through other things. There is no one way to go. Feel your way, and you will find what works for you.

 

[mchell6789]

Hi @mchell6789 ..............Staying positive can indeed be hard.
The first thing I really want you to do is give yourself a huge amount of credit right now for even wanting to try to stay positive, and for knowing how important that is to do. this is really important and you've got that.

Second, give yourself a lot of credit also for finding this forum, and for writing in to get advice. That's really big, too.

I can tell you what worked for me, and others can tell you what worked for them, and you can try things and find out what works for you.

I started from a place years ago of being very depressed, discouraged, and angry about being in constant pain the doctors couldn't do anything about.
The first thing I had to do (You are probably well beyond this point) is realize that it was up to me and I needed to stop trying to depend on the doctors.
The next thing I did was start giving myself pats on the back and credit and telling myself "good job, well done" for just about everything under the sun. Cleaned the house? I told myself "good job!!!". Did laundry? I told myself "Well done!!!"
Sounds silly, but it helped me.

Next, I started looking around me and realizing all of the really good things in my life, so I could say something to myself like: "Well, I feel lousy, but at least I have a house to feel lousy in! I'm not feeling lousy out on the street with no place to live"

I also take great comfort in my animals. My dogs mean the world to me and being able to be with them is the greatest blessing in my life. I am so grateful for their constant presence.

And most important, I worked really hard on Radical Acceptance. I personally think this is the most important thing. What works for me is to know that there's no one truth, and no one goal you have to reach. In my experience, peace of mind can be found by fully accepting what is, in this moment.

Now, acceptance doesn't mean approval or complacency or apathy. It just means not fighting with the reality of the present moment, but accepting that this is reality. That saves a lot of energy used fighting things or saying to oneself that this "shouldn't be happening".
I have found that the degree to which I can accept the present moment is the degree to which I can have peace in that moment.

Others have found a positive outlook through other things. There is no one way to go. Feel your way, and you will find what works for you.

Thank you so much for the reply. Yes I try to look at my accomplishments and what I can do during the day. Like today I did a load of laundry. Had to walk up and down stairs and was able to do this. I also appreciate having a house to feel lousy in. Having appreciation for things really does help too.

 

[BlueBells]

Hi @mchell6789

Welcome to the forums

First up, with the numbness and tingling, ask for a full blood test on vitamin and mineral levels. I've been on a vitamin B mix for years now, and it brought that under control. Might be unrelated for you, but certainly worth a try

There are days, like now, where I struggle to find any positives as so much I want / need to do that I simply cannot. Accepting that I need to wait until I am able, and to back off for now, that makes me frustrated and I am trying so hard to just go with the flow.

Dancing with fibro, someone described it. I like that. It gives a lighter slant on it.

At the moment I am trying to pat myself on the back for getting the washing done, and hopefully I'll get the dishes done too. I'm walking into rooms forgetting why I'm there, open the computer and no idea why, took the washing to the line and forgot and remembered on the short walk what I was doing.

Days like this I won't drive, and I do as little as possible because mistakes can be bad (bookwork) but to accept that this is the best for today, best being washing, maybe dishes, chat here and watch (not necessarily comprehend) movies...

If I start berating myself, the frustration leads to depression and that's a dark hole. I'm learning to nip it in the bud, and accept rather than frustrate. Years of not knowing and others picking on me for it, takes a while to undo the thought patterns, but I'm getting there.

Hi @mchell6789 ..............Staying positive can indeed be hard.
The first thing I really want you to do is give yourself a huge amount of credit right now for even wanting to try to stay positive, and for knowing how important that is to do. this is really important and you've got that.

Second, give yourself a lot of credit also for finding this forum, and for writing in to get advice. That's really big, too.

I can tell you what worked for me, and others can tell you what worked for them, and you can try things and find out what works for you.

@sunkacola put that very well indeed !

Take care and enjoy the forums

 

[mchell6789]

Hi @mchell6789

Welcome to the forums

First up, with the numbness and tingling, ask for a full blood test on vitamin and mineral levels. I've been on a vitamin B mix for years now, and it brought that under control. Might be unrelated for you, but certainly worth a try

There are days, like now, where I struggle to find any positives as so much I want / need to do that I simply cannot. Accepting that I need to wait until I am able, and to back off for now, that makes me frustrated and I am trying so hard to just go with the flow.

Dancing with fibro, someone described it. I like that. It gives a lighter slant on it.

At the moment I am trying to pat myself on the back for getting the washing done, and hopefully I'll get the dishes done too. I'm walking into rooms forgetting why I'm there, open the computer and no idea why, took the washing to the line and forgot and remembered on the short walk what I was doing.

Days like this I won't drive, and I do as little as possible because mistakes can be bad (bookwork) but to accept that this is the best for today, best being washing, maybe dishes, chat here and watch (not necessarily comprehend) movies...

If I start berating myself, the frustration leads to depression and that's a dark hole. I'm learning to nip it in the bud, and accept rather than frustrate. Years of not knowing and others picking on me for it, takes a while to undo the thought patterns, but I'm getting there.



@sunkacola put that very well indeed !

Take care and enjoy the forums

Sorry it took me so long to respond. I have terrible ulnar nerve pain and try not to go on the computer much. I did have my vitamin levels checked. B12 was on the high end of normal and that's without taking any supplements. They checked just about every vitamin you could think of that could cause nerve pain.

Good for you for getting the washing done. I got a load of towels done today so happy about that.

 

[BlueBells]

Hi @mchell6789

Don't worry about slow responses, we all have that at times.

At the moment my head is sideways and hands weak, so not on much, might browse but little chat.

There's still so much unknown out there. Just think, if the mega bucks spent on trying to attack people was spent on trying to heal them, we'd all be so much better off and so much happier

Might get better roads, too hahahaha

 

[srdodla123]

end of normal and that's without taking any supplements. They checked just about every vitamin you could think of that could cause nerve pain.

Good for you for getting the washi

Hi @mchell6789

Don't worry about slow responses, we all have that at times.

At the moment my head is sideways and hands weak, so not on much, might browse but little chat.

There's still so much unknown out there. Just think, if the mega bucks spent on trying to attack people was spent on trying to heal them, we'd all be so much better off and so much happier

Might get better roads, too hahahaha

Is that dystonia the head sideways ? @BlueBells

 

[BlueBells]

@srdodla123 just fibro fog I think, just a way of describing it. I've been overdoing it and bouncing on the edge of a good crash, so .....is what it is.

We all get times like that, hey?

edit: just looked it up, no, not dystonia, just fog