Hi everyone,
I was diagnosed nearly 9 years ago with Fibromyalgia. Currently going through a flare. Its hellish but getting through slowly.
I also have one of those partners that tells me to take paracetamol and it will be ok. REALLY THEN YOU TAKE PARACETAMOL THE NEXT TIME A TRUCK HITS YOU. OOOOHHH he gets me angry. No one understands the misery of this condition unless they have it themselves.
It's true! Trying to explain it only gets so far. Sometimes not far enough
. In fairness to my husband (and perhaps this applies to your partner), he didn't know how bad I felt nor how often because I didnt tell him until it was sheer misery. On the outside I handled every day about the same (cuz i pretty much always felt some kind of bad) so when I did complain he didn't know I was saying, "I'm being tortured". He was like, oh you don't feel well.
I'm not proud of it but I know there's been a few moments where I wished my husband could feel what I'm feeling for a second so he'd really understand
. That's a terrible thought but it's only born out of the human desire to be understood and accepted. Or maybe just a desire to be left alone
. Hey, If you arent going to believe me, just leave me alone please
I have had to do things I never wanted to (convince someone of my reality) but I realized how much I need him to get it so I literally narrate every time there's a fluctuation, good or bad. When I break out in a cold sweat I put his hand on it. If I got pins and needles, I'd probably grab one and poke him with it and then say imagine 5000 of those non stop. If he still didn't get that, I'd probably poke him 5 times quickly and tell him to multiply it.
Whatever sensation is happenning, I tell him about it. When it changes, I tell him. When I feel better I tell him so that he gets to ride the crazy train with me
He is starting to see this isn't a headache situation where a little pill resolves it and everything's over. It's a monster that pretends it has left the room but comes back within a few minutes or a few hours. Instead of just me living with the monster, right now he lives with it, too. I will stop doing these things once I think it has set in.
JayCS has some good tips there. I use his method of rating things to communicate how bad I am feeling. Memes, articles written by people with fibro, testimonies, leaflets - a waterfall of those should break through somehow. I wish your partner would just come on here and read stuff!