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Dana A

New member
Jul 22, 2013
Hello everyone, I have had chronic pain for years but just dealt with it. I always thought everyone had back and neck pain at work and I was just a big baby so I kept it to myself. I haven't worked for 12 years because I have been raising our 3 kids. I have still always had mild chronic pain. For the last few years it has gotten steadily worse. For the last year and a half it has gotten really bad. I haven't been to a Doctor because I don't have any health ins. I have started to feel as though my life is over. I just can't do 1/4 of what I need to be doing. I have given up all my hobbies. My house is a mess! I need to start working because of the bad economy but I would never survive even a 4 hour shift. My best friend has recently been diagnosed with FM. She keeps telling me I have it but my symptoms are not as bad as hers. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this.
I am so sorry Dana! You could use a hug and a nice cup of warm, relaxing tea (here you go!...passes a nicely steeped chamomile tea with a dash of honey). I totally understand not only the physical pain, but all the emotional pain that can go with FM/CF. For years I have dealt with chronic recurrent depression, panic disorder, GAD etc. I too thought neck, back, joint pain etc. was normal, even when I was a teenager.

I feel your heartache in not being able to do even a little bit of what you are needing to do for your family, as I struggle too. I know at times its hard to even think of being able to see a doctor, let alone a specialist that can work with you. You probably have so many fears and questions, I bet your feeling so overwhelmed with everything right now. I hope you don't mind me asking, but do you have trouble with depression and anxiety. It feel the emotional pain from the chronic pain is just draining you dry and void of any hope. But Dana, just remember, you are a unique and strong person. You deserve to know what your body is trying to tell you. Is there any way you can get county assistance, like MA? Ask your county what you could possibly qualify for. I would also check with any charity groups that may be able to help you find some kind of health care. It can really help to go to some local face to face support groups too (either fibromyalgia, chronic pain groups etc.). But I am very glad you made your way to this forum for support. We are here for you!

Dana, I know it is very tough right now to even muster up the energy to devulge into your hobbies, but it is extremely important to look at what hobbies you can do fairly well with your symptoms. You may not be able to do it on your worst days, but give yourself a bit of a push when your days are not as severe. It will help you to keep a happier, healthier identity of who you are, plus you will have something you know you can always be proud of or go to when you need time for yourself. I have to continue to remind myself to do this, but in the end it really is worth pushing yourself forward as best as possible. You don't have to let your chronic pain symptoms define who you are, we just have to find other ways to express it when we can.

Oh, and Dana. Thank you so much for the kind comments on my post about Stickler's with FM/CF. I would like to extend my gratitude for your support, especially with all you are currently going through yourself as well. If you wish...PM me? I am here when you need someone to talk to and lean on. If you would like to learn about some natural and alternative therapies that may help you let me know. I am more than willing to share some ideas here etc. in order to help in any way I can!
welcome to the forum. You mentioned a couple of problems that you need some help with. One is you have no doctor due to lack of insurance. Well in most towns and cities, there are government run clinics that charge by (your) income. If your not working the fees are usually quite cheap. They do it on a sliding scale, based on income. I used to go in Florida, when I had no insurance and my visit cost $7.00. they could help you with bloodwork testing and refer you to one of the doctors in their network who could help you with your symptoms and perhapes a diagnosis.

Second it sounds like your overwhemed and in need of some help with depression and anxiety. again most towns and cities, have mental health clinics that can be very helpful in providing therapists to help you sort out your feelings and get you to feeling better. They usually operate in the same manner as the health clinics. So you can afford to go.

The above post is a very good supportive comment and I agree with DragonFireWalker, that you need someone to talk with and provide support. I hope you will continue to come here often and read through the many back posts in hope you will find some good hints on coping with what ails you. Good Luck! :)
Thank you for the kind comments you guys. I do have a free medical clinic a half hour away that I plan on visiting this week. I just spent hours at the hospital last night with a major gallbladder attack then came home to be sick as a dog from the pain meds they gave me threw IV. I have been dealing with this gallbladder problem for over a year now. They say it needs to come out but once again I have no ins. I plan to go to the free clinic this week and get a referral to the state place for mental health. I have been on the highest dose of Paxil for 9 years. I have been trying to get off of it for years but am so addicted that I always end up going back on it. I have been afraid to ask the Drs at the free clinic for help with getting off of it anymore because they are reluctant to prescribe it in the 1st place. I decided the other day that I was going off of it no matter what so I could try and get on Cymbalta. I am desperate to try something that can help with pain and I don't have a diagnosis for anything but severe anxiety and depression so I was thinking maybe if I could get off the Paxil I could find someone to prescribe me the Cymbalta. I have also been reluctant to ask for help being tested for anything pain related at the free clinic because I went in there once with my ankle sprained and swollen to 3 times normal size and they acted like I was just seeking pain meds even though I know they don't prescribe them ever as a policy that I completely understand. I was just afraid my ankle was broken. I just cannot stand to be treated that way. I did get the ER doc last night to give me a script for Cymbalta so if I make it threw tapering off the Paxil I have a chance to try it. There is an epidemic of people who have been stuck on Paxil and have never been able to get off of it. I have gone to the state place for mental health in the past but it is pretty much a revolving door for Drs and they only give you 15 min to see the Dr. I always felt like I was being herded in and out like a cow and as soon as you get a Dr to know a bit about you they leave the facility and pass you on to the next one who once again has no clue about your case. I plan to go to the free clinic and lay out my symptoms this week. I guess all they can do is make me feel like a worthless person with no hope of any type of future. I am already there so I guess I don't have much to loose. I am hoping that within a week and a half I will be starting on the Cymbalta.
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