Worried Husband
New member
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2016
- Messages
- 2
- Reason
- Relative
- Diagnosis
- 08/2016
- Country
- US
- State
- New Jersey
Hi I'm not sure how to start but I need to find out answers to questions I have about fibromyalgia. Here is some backround information about my wife and I. We are both in in our early 30s and we are highschool sweethearts. We have been together for 14 years, married for 8 of the 14 (no breaks or split ups). She has ALOT of medical issues and i have stood by her side doing whatever she needed/asked. There was even a point where she broke down and told me that she thinks I should walk away from our relationship. She believes that I deserve better then what she has to offer and I shouldn't have to deal with all of her medical issues. But I'm an Aries so I'm stubborn and I'm not willing to give up on her that easily. I love my wife whole hearted she is a great woman, wife, mother, and person. I'm not about to lose someone like her just because life has turned left when it should have gone right. Due to fertility issues we adopted our daughter 2 years ago. Her history of medical issue was not much of an impact on her day to day life. But there were times when she needed to rest. The intamate part of our relationship was great. We were very active with trips, camping, and hiking. The first year raising our daughter was great, she is a sassy little girl that can always make you smile. Everything was going good until about a year ago, my wife was diagnosed with lymes disease. After 2 rounds of antibiotics she still was tired and in pain. After talking to doctors and alot of testing they diagnosed her with "post lymes syndrome fibromyalgia". I've have tired to help out with what ever she needs but I work on average 50 to 65 hours a week so I am exhausted when I I get home but when I get home I am the one to always make dinner, I do what I can to clean up around the house, once I'm home watching my daughter is basically 100% my responsibility, my wife goes to lay down in bed once I'm home and stays there for the rest of the evening most of the time. I don't get to sleep in in the mornings any more. I work m-f some times sat and sun also but if I'm not working the weekend I don't get to sleep in because I have to wake up when my daughter wakes up whIle my wife continues to rest. I can't remember the last time I was able to get out of bed on my own accord. The last year I have always HAD to wake up for one reason or another. The intamate part of our relationship has basically left the building. To the point that I basically can't even talk to her about it never mind making an advance on her. Im trying to pick up the slack to try and help her and make her comfortable but I can't help but feel frustrated, confused, baffled, upset, mad, worried, tired, stressed out and a whole host of other emotions. She keeps saying I don't understand what she is going through and I dont, I have been in pain before but never constant pain. I don't know how to handle this situation, and afraid that the life we had before fibro and lymes may never return. Does it ever get better??? Due to medications she is on she is reluctant to try to take meds to try and manage the fibro. The doctors say that she can take them just she would need to be monitored more closely for a while in the begining. But she is more reluctant to take them because of the side effects. She is already depressed stressed and has tons of anxiety. Idk if this was cause by the fibro and lymes but she had all of those issue long before fibro and lymes. We have gotten into arguments about her not having energy to clean up our house but she keeps her best friends house alot cleaner then ours. Her best friend has fibro also and my wife (prefibro) wanted to help her when she was in pain so she cleans up her place. Idk what to do. Am I a complete selfish ***hole for asking/arguing with her about doing more and trying to rekindle the intamate part of our relationship instead of just letting her lay in bed? Or is this just how it is going to be for now on and I just have to get used to it? I just need to know where we stand. Like I said earlier, I'm in this relationship for the long haul. I'm not going anywhere just Idk where this road is taking us. I don't know how touchy of a topic this is so if I offended anybody please accept my apologies that was not my intention. I just don't know if I'm in the right or wrong with everything going on. Do I push for her to do more or do I just suck it up and do it myself. I want her to be comfortable and if I could switch situations with her I would do it in a heart beat so that she wouldn't have to go through what she is going through. I just don't know what else I can do to help or what to do for myself to not be so mad, angry, and/or frustrated. Any help is greatly aprreciate and please tell me if I'm in the wrong for how I'm feeling/arguing with my wife about doing more. Sorry that this is so long I've been needing to vent for a while now.
Worried Husband
Worried Husband