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Nada

New member
Joined
Sep 2, 2015
Messages
8
Reason
Undiagnosed
Diagnosis
08/2015
Country
Us
State
Utah
My dad made me go see doctor for a second opinion on my fibro diagnosis because he didn't belive that I had fibro, but his doctor also diagnosed me.

I've become dependant on my dad and live at his house (very long story short, it was my grandpa's house and i was living here to take care him after his stroke, he passed away and my dad inherited the house. I had developed fibro during the time my grandpa was alive, and now I'm just stuck here). My dad is really mentally unstable, and being dependant on him is not where I'd ever want to find myself, but I'm here.

So after my first doctor wasn't very helpful, my dad made me go see his Doctor. The first appt I saw him, he was very nice, he said he'd try to figure out the right meds, etc to help me. He had me start gabapentin, so after a month I went in for my second appt.

That appt was not so nice. I felt like the doctor treated me so different, was rude, and pretty much told me there was nothing he could do for me and gave me info for a mental health center. So I could just be paranoid, but I think my dad has been trying to convince him that I'm lying.

My dad's mood fluctuates all the time, and I've know this whole time that I can't stay here long. I was hoping my new meds would work well enough that I could go back to work, and get out of here, or get disability, or something.

My dad told my sister the other day that our doctor showed him my medical records (I'm an adult, so that would be very illegal) and that I'm lying about the diagnosis. I really think my dad is just lying (he is a pathological lier), but I'm freaked out that he has convinced the doctor that I'm making up having fibro. Now we have a family meeting with my doctor set up for Monday so he can tell everyone in my family that I'm lying!

My dad doesn't want me to move out, he got angry at me when I told him i wanted to move out eventually when I got my financial situation figured out. He wants me to stay here. I do all of the cooking and cleaning at the house, when I can. He's super controlling, and very mean. I was hoping that I could keep walking on egg shells until i could get out, but he's gone completely off the last week. I'm afraid to even leave my room. He's mad at me because I needed help with the dishes, and I slept through cooking dinner twice last week. He's gotten so mean, sometimes I wish he'd just hit me and get it over with. Instead he gets in my face, calls me names, tells me I'm worthless, ect.

I don't know what to do now, or where to go. I have to go to that meeting with the doctor "or else" (idk what). I'm not lying about having fibro, I don't want to have it. I'm hoping that the doctor is going to be helpful to explain what fibro is like, but that might just make my dad even angrier. I'm afraid. I don't know what to do or how to get out of this situation. I just feel so stuck.

I wish I could just dissappear!

I'm so frustrated being sick like this, I've always been so independent, and I feel so hopeless now.
 

moe1959

Very helpful member
Joined
Sep 13, 2014
Messages
708
Reason
Undiagnosed
Diagnosis
09/2014
Country
US
State
wa.
Can you see a spcialist? YOUR RIGHT WHAT YOUR DR DID WAS VERY ILLEAGLE.
IF YOUR NOT WORKING GO TO UNEMPLOYMENT AND SEE IF YOU CAN GET ON YOUR OWN INSURANCE. WOW SOUNDS LIKE YOUR DAD'S IN A BAD WAY, BLAMING IT ON YOU. I'M SO SORRY THIS IS HAPPENING TO YOU. HANG I AND KEEP IN TOUCH, WE ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU.
 

Eyesup

Senior member
Joined
Dec 11, 2015
Messages
376
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
12/2015
Country
US
State
Florida
Wiw Nada there is so much in your post I could respond to but right now I just want to know how this doctor visit went and if your OK? There is so much wrong going on here, to start a gp can and should be helpful with fibromyalgia but a reumotolgist is considered the specialist and I think I would go with a specialist opinion not some unethical quack that illegally shared my medical records with a family member (I would have addressed that at the family meeting). A live in maid gets more then just room and board, they get a sallary. Your dad could pay you and on days when you can't do the dishes or cook you could supply paper plates and go through a drive through! Maid vs Slave...maids get time off, get paid for their services and are usually treated with respect. Things can get better. Look for ways to reach out. Fibromyalgia try's to lick you in a box, don't let it. Accept your moment now but never stop looking for a way to change what is not acceptable. Family should be the ones that research and support our condition, unfortunately sometimes the are the worst ones in dismissing our illness like we are lazy. What could we possibly benefit from this? really? We find sleapping for hours more fun then living life, we'll spend our last penny on somethings that eases our discomfort (yup, I'll scrub a public toilet if it means that's the only way I can buy a new heating pad!) we sit on the side lines watching everyone else participate in fun because we want to fake an illness that no one believes is real anyway! Why not just break all our limbs that way we could also get pity. Really what motive could you have to "fake" fibromyalgia? Anyway, PLEASE let us know how things went and how you are doing. It sounds like you need a plan to get away from your dad.
 

maydaze43

Active member
Joined
Feb 27, 2016
Messages
33
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
uk
State
wiltshire
Aww :-( first thing i would say is change your doctor.if that is possible?And if at all possible, find one who has knowledge of fibro..your GP should be there for you and you only, privately and confidentialy.Sounds like you are getting lack of understanding from all angles,so that would be the first place to start,to find someone who gets it...are there any support groups in your area?these things could help maybe with taking some steps to empower yourself to enable you to start getting out of your,by the sounds of it, very unpleasant situation.. X
 

Dooi

Moderator
Joined
Feb 4, 2013
Messages
167
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
06/2012
Country
CA
It definitely sounds like some space could help. maydaze43 suggesting talking to some local people experiencing something similar could be very powerful for you. I hope you will come back to let us know how your situation progressed.
 

Lana

Senior member
Joined
Apr 6, 2014
Messages
223
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
05/2012
Country
CA
State
ontario
Don't ever let anyone call you names that is emotional abuse and you need to stand up for yourself, even though he is your Father, He has no right talking to you like that. The worse thing for Fibromyalgia is stress! I hope you can find a relative to tell your Father that this illness gets worse with stress. maybe he just needs to be told.
 

terbaer

Senior member
Joined
Apr 3, 2014
Messages
428
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
10/2010
Country
US
State
Washington
I'm so sorry Nada that you are not getting the support you need and that you have the added stress of your father's instability and abuse. I hope you stick with this forum. There is a lot of support here. It helped me through some pretty rough times over the past couple of years. Hang in there. Things will get better.....Gentle hugs....
 

Nada

New member
Joined
Sep 2, 2015
Messages
8
Reason
Undiagnosed
Diagnosis
08/2015
Country
Us
State
Utah
things have been so crazy!
I went to that meeting on Mon the last day of Feb, and the doctor told my dad and siblings that I am NOT lying, that Fibro is real, that I have severe Fibro, etc., it was such a relief! However, when we got back from the doctor my dad was livid. He started yelling at me and my sister, and he kicked me out.
I had to figure out where to go while I was still staying there, and that was just awful. I had no money, my car registration just expired, I was out of most of my meds. It just sucked! All of this, and it was also the one year anniversary of my grandpa's death and I was being kicked out of his house after years of doing everything for him and the rest of my family. I'm still just heartbroken.
I have put my stuff in storage and am at my mom's right now. I can stay with my mom, but my step dad is not happy about it. Neither of them really believe in, or understand, fibro either. I'm going to just stay with different friends and family for a while, moving around so that no one gets sick of me.
I don't know what to do next, but for now, I'm just going to try to bring my stress levels back to normal.
Thank you all for your concern and kind words, I'm grateful to have a place to vent.
 

kerikay

Active member
Joined
Mar 9, 2016
Messages
33
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
3/2016
Country
us
State
Connecticut
Nada I'm so sorry your going through all this. In time your Father will realize how unreasonable and cruel he was to you. Maybe you can also look into getting housing assistance (i.e section 8) so they will pay your rent and don't have to worry about people getting tired of you. You seem to be such a sweet soul and some people don't think fibro is real and it definitely is some people just don't understand because we don't cut and bullet wounds and blood test look fine however we feel a hell of a lot of pain and no one can make it up because or pretend to have fibro its none of us wish to have it in the first place it like a life sentence to being in pain forever hopefully things start getting better soon and were all here to support you just try to destress because we wouldn't want you to have a really bad flare and get a lot of rest. Lots of love and hugs
 

terbaer

Senior member
Joined
Apr 3, 2014
Messages
428
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
10/2010
Country
US
State
Washington
I'm quite relieved you posted again. So I had a thought. On your next appointment, consider mentioning your housing predicament to your supportive doctor. Describe what happened and how you are now forced to live. Ask him if he knows of any services that can help you, or if he has any suggestions.

This is a lifelong disease so working toward a long-term solution to housing and finances will help you tremendously to become happy and independent.

Are there medications that might help you to function so that you can work? If you are beyond that, have you checked with Social Security to see what you might qualify for? There are several options, depending on whether you have work history or not. You can go to their website and create a profile for starters. If you go the disability route, you may need more medical efforts to support your request. I believe it is vitally important to find a good counselor if you can find one. See if there is a listing of those that provide some free services.

What assistance locally or within your state do you qualify for? Housing? Food stamps?

I am glad you are out of the situation with your father. I hope you will begin to find less stress and can figure out your next steps.....Good luck to you. Please keep in touch. Gentle hugs...
 

diamond

Legendary member
Joined
Sep 18, 2015
Messages
1,547
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
01/2008
Country
UK
State
anywhere
Dear Nada you poor sweetheart i can't imagine how emotionally traumatizing all this is on top of fibro. All the above advice sounds good and i am thinking of you. Stay on here and let us know how things go. No one should be treated like this...it's they who are faulty not you. Take Care x
 

Trellum

Legendary member
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
1,788
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
04/2011
Country
NL
State
NL
My eyes got teary while reading your post. I could see my own situation reflected in your post, I also have a controlling mother who also happens to be a pathological liar. I don't trust her one bit, and yes, she yells a lot and is sometimes very mean. Now she is nicer because I had a really bad nervous breakdown last week caused by the stressful situation I am living right now. I truly hope and pray you can get out of this situation... the mental and verbal abuse is something so hard to endure.
 
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